


Overcoming Oblivion

by luminality



Series: The 41st Fandango [3]
Category: Disco Elysium (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, BAMF!Kim (later chapters), Domestic fluff (later chapters), Drama, Electrochemistry makes a surprise appearance, Friendship, Harry's voices having a Really Bad Time, Humor, Hurt/Comfort, Kim!whump, Kim's Authority being truly off-the-charts, M/M, POV Party, Past Drug Addiction, Post-game (spoilers), Tenderness, actually everyone!whump, good ending (I promise), rated M for Making Out (later chapters)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-30
Updated: 2020-03-22
Packaged: 2021-02-27 11:01:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 15
Words: 47,259
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22476049
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/luminality/pseuds/luminality
Summary: [Oblivion (noun) : the fact or condition of not remembering; a state marked by lack of awareness or consciousness. Also, the condition or state of being forgotten or unknown]Wherein one detective meets an old friend, while another keeps a troubled vigil.(03/14/20 - Added two pieces byJoditoChapter 7andChapter 13!)(02/27/20 - Now with illustrations byMorgoMoonscarforChapter 1andChapter 6!)
Relationships: Harry Du Bois/Kim Kitsuragi
Series: The 41st Fandango [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1625734
Comments: 110
Kudos: 268





	1. The Swing in the Airfield

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into 中文-普通话 國語 available: [【授权翻译】Overcoming Oblivion/苏醒](https://archiveofourown.org/works/25213543) by [EsiuolL](https://archiveofourown.org/users/EsiuolL/pseuds/EsiuolL)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In Jamrock, the sky was a dreary, ash-gray smog that was blocked by tall buildings and smeared by pollution, but in the airfields, it was an endless blue expanse that stretched for miles and miles and miles....
> 
> It made Kim's heart soar.

When Lt. Kim Kitsuragi was a little boy, he and his fellow orphans would sneak into the old military airfields in the outskirts of Jamrock and marvel at the rusty carcasses of abandoned aerostats. Kim loved these excursions, not just because he got to get away from the Matron and her iron-fisted rule, but also because he got to see the sky. 

In Jamrock, the sky was a dreary, ash-gray smog that was blocked by tall buildings and smeared by pollution, but in the airfields, it was an endless blue expanse that stretched for miles and miles and miles....

It made Kim's heart soar.

He finds himself standing in one of those airfields now, with a sky above him that is as wide and endless as he remembered it to be on those warm summer days.

It occurs to him that he does not remember why he was standing in the field, or how he got there. At the back of his mind, a small, faint voice is shouting frantically at him...

He ignores it and starts walking.

He lets his feet carry him in a random direction. A playful breeze whips around him, flapping his bomber jacket and tousling his hair. A quiet peace permeates his entire being, as if a weight has been lifted from his shoulders and carried away by a benevolent hand.

Something glints on top of a small hill in the distance, and Kim gravitates towards it like an unmoored ship drifting towards a lighthouse. He doesn't know how long or how far he walks--- Time and distance feel like burdensome concepts that have become as old and rusted as the decayed aerostats around him--- but after what seems like both an eternity and a second, Kim reaches the top of the hill.

He's greeted the unexpected sight of an aged swing set, its green paint corroded by years of saltwater spray. Recognition flickers in Kim's mind ---he's seen this swing set before---but then, he sees someone seated on one of the swings. Someone impossible, yet familiar...

"Eyes?"

“Yo, Kitsuragi!” His former partner greets him with a wave and a lopsided grin. Isaac “Eyes” Legrand is just as Kim remembers him: A languid panther of a man, he occupies the swing with effortless grace and casual confidence: elbows hooked around the chains, a hand in his pocket, and his long legs stretched out in front of him. He’s wearing the black coat and slacks of the RCM officer’s uniform, which was exactly what he was wearing when---

_The sky is weeping._

_As the casket is lowered into the ground, a cadre of officers fires seventeen shots into the air, one for each year that the deceased had served in the Revachol Citizens Militia. Beside the grave, a little boy stares in wonder at the officer’s rifles while clinging to the hand of his blank-eyed mother. Both of them depart with the crowd after the service, whisked away by relatives who flutter around them with quiet condolences and hollow platitudes._

_Drenched and alone, Kim keeps vigil at the grave until the rain stops._

“Kim? Hey, Kim!” Eyes snaps his fingers in front of Kim’s face, abruptly ending his reverie. “What are you staring at? Come on, have a seat!”

 _He’s alive_ , Kim wonders as he plops himself down on the seat beside Eyes. _He’s alive, and it was all just a bad dream_.

The small voice at the back of his head is shouting louder, but it’s no match for the sheer relief that Kim feels at seeing his partner --- his _friend_ \--- alive and well.

Before Kim could say a word, Eyes draws out a box of Astra cigarettes from his coat pocket and deftly taps out two sticks. He offers one to Kim with an impish glint in his eye.

“A stick a day...” Eyes starts.

“Keeps the freaks okay,” Kim finishes with a grin. He accepts the offered cigarette and moves closer to Eyes, who flicks out his lighter for the both of them. They light up, and the first inhale is so heavenly that Kim closes his eyes and leans back into his seat to savor it.

A familiar, comfortable silence stretches between the two of them, broken only by the rhythmic squeak of the swings as they lazily rock back and forth. They stare out into the grassy meadow that stretches out from the foot of their little hill to the distant horizon, like an endless, swaying ocean of green.

“Nice place, huh?” Eyes says.

“Yeah,” Kim responds. A traitorous question arises in his mind: _Where are we exactly?_ But then,he is overcome with the certainty that he already knows this place.

He knows it in such an achingly deep way that no words were necessary.

This place was... _his_.

“Yep, it’s yours alright,” Eyes murmurs fondly, tapping out the ash from his cigarette onto the ground beside him.

Kim blinks.

 _D_ _id I say that out loud?_

Seemingly oblivious to his confusion, Eyes presses on. “But tell me Kim, how’ve you been? Seems like we haven’t seen each other in ages.”

For a moment, Kim considers this question and tries to recall what has happened since ~~Eyes died~~ the last time that he saw Eyes. He exhales a long plume of smoke. “Are you sure you want to know? It might take a while to tell.”

“Aw, I wouldn't worry about that.” Eyes grins lazily around his cigarette as he settles into a comfortable sprawl. “Something tells me that we have all the time in the world...” 

* * *

A knock. 

A sigh. “Come in.”

The door opens. “Lieutenant? I’m ready with my report.”

“Welcome back, Patrol Officer. How’s the situation on site?”

“It’s...much graver than we expected, Sir.”

“Don’t tell me he ambushed the nurses again! I swear, I’m going to court-martial that psychotic buffoon myse---“

“Oh no, Sir, the lieutenant double-yefreitor is fine. Well, not exactly fine, but he hasn’t been a nuisance to anyone at the hospital lately at least. It’s... the lieutenant.”

“... What’s his condition?”

“The doctors… Erm. The doctors don’t know if he’ll... wake up, Sir. Ever.”

Silence.

“Does Harry know this?”

“No, Sir. I made sure not to tell him. And I told the doctors to keep it from him too.”

“Good call, Patrol Officer. Good call.”

Silence.

“Permission to ask a question, Sir?”

“Permission granted.”

“What will we do... if the lieutenant doesn’t...?”

A prolonged silence.

“We better hope that he does make it, Patrol Officer. Because if not...”

_Then this precinct will be burying two officers, not just one._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter: Jean recalls how everything went to hell, and reaches a decision.


	2. What Emerged from the Tunnel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After Patrol Officer Minot leaves his office, Lt. Jean Vicquemare leans back in his office chair and silently contemplates his desk.

After Patrol Officer Minot leaves his office, Lt. Jean Vicquemare leans back in his office chair and silently contemplates his desk.

It is a good desk. It is solid, rectangular, and has served many competent police officers before him with its sturdy woodenness. It is a good, _dependable_ desk.

Which is why it would be a bad idea if he were to flip it over in an irrational and impotent display of rage and despair. 

Right?

His fingers tap a staccato rhythm on its surface, and he imagines that he could feel a subtle terror emanating from the woodwork.

Yes. 

Definitely a bad idea.

He takes a deep breath, and lets it out slowly.

He does it one more time, for good measure.

Then he slams down his fist on the desk with so much force that his entire office shakes from the impact.

“ _Fuck_ ,” he says emphatically, to no one in particular.

Then Jean slumps back into his chair, and buries his face in his hands.

* * *

A week ago, Jean and his team had responded to an urgent request for back-up from Detectives Harrier Du Bois and Kim Kitsuragi, who were pursuing a lead about a missing filament that contained sensitive information about RCM personnel. It had led them to a decrepit series of underground tunnels in the eastern edge of the Burnt Out Quarter, where Harry suspected that the perp was hiding out with the filament.

“He says that things might go south fast, so we’d better bring some guns,” Jules had relayed to Jean. “Oh, and that if we could bring some snacks, that would be great too. They’re pretty hungry.”

Before they left the precinct, Jean had such a strong premonition that Bad Things were going to happen that he decided to bring along the lazareth, just in case anyone suffered the inconvenience of losing a body part or two during the operation.

It would prove to be the best decision that he’s made in his entire career.

By the time Jean, Chester, Judit, Mack, and the lazareth had arrived at the scene (with a hastily bought box of bagels, because they were good colleagues that way), Harry and Kim were nowhere to be found. The only sign of their presence in the vicinity was Kim’s beloved Coupris Kineema, which was parked near the entrance of the main tunnel. The whole place had a macabre feel to it, as if something ancient and terrible was beckoning them into the darkness where it could eat them up whole...

Jean was just about to tell his squad to gear up when a monstrous roar blasted through the tunnels and made half of his officers piss in their raid pants. It sounded like some crazed, wounded animal was making its way to the surface from the depths, and all of them instinctively whipped out their flashlights and pistols to aim them at the tunnel’s mouth. 

During those tense moments of waiting, Jean thought of Harry and Kim encountering ... whatever this was, and a sickening fear gripped his heart.

“Boss...” Chester had lowered his gun, and was peering into the darkness of the tunnel. “Boss, it’s them!”

He was right, but Jean didn’t recognize them at first. Instead, what he saw was a wild-eyed, hunchbacked spectre, howling in anguish as it stumbled towards the entrance. It took his brain a few seconds to unscramble the horror that his eyes were seeing.

It was Harry, carrying an unconscious Kim on his back. Most of Harry’s undershirt was covered in blood, and Harry’s jacket was tied around Kim’s midriff as a rough tourniquet.

The lieutenant did not seem to be breathing.

“Please,” Harry wheezed at him, his face a mess of dirt, snot, and tears, “please save him.”

Then Harry’s legs collapsed beneath him, and Jean was just barely able to catch him in time.

He remembers shouting for the lazareth, remembers having to pin Harry down after he socked Mack in the jaw when the bigger man tried to pull Kim away, remembers how the lazareth had paled as he checked the lieutenant’s vital signs...

“We need to get to the hospital. _Now,_ ” the old man had said.

Jean drove so fast that his tires skidded on the asphalt.

Later on, as their squad sat in stunned silence outside the operating theater, Jean Vicquemare learned many things. He learned that Lt. Kim Kitsuragi had been shot once in the abdomen, and that the bullet had ricocheted through his insides until it exited through his back. He also learned that the human body was capable of losing one-third of its blood supply without dying, but just barely. Finally, he learned that Harry Du Bois had been sober from both drugs and alcohol for more than three months, which qualified him as a blood donor.

Jean is ashamed to admit that of all the things that occurred that day, finding out about Harry’s sobriety was the one that he found hardest to believe. 

* * *

From behind his hands, Jean can almost pretend that everything is going to be alright. That Kim isn’t lying comatose in a hospital bed in Revachol General Hospital. That Harry isn’t a suicidal nutjob who would pretty much off himself if he found out about Kim’s condition. That he, Jean Vicquemare, isn’t completely, utterly devastated at the prospect of losing his best friend again after finding out that there’s _hope_ for that man after all.

He musters up the courage to peel his hands from his face and looks at his desk. Specifically, at the picture frame that’s now lying face down at the right corner, a casualty of his earlier outburst.

He reaches for it. 

The faces that stare up at him are from five years ago. Harry is barely recognizable without his sideburns and late-stage alcoholism, and Jean --- well, he looks like a less tired, more hopeful version of himself. They’re both grinning up the camera, arms slung around each other’s shoulders while they show off their lieutenant badges with their other hands.

The typewritten caption on the photo reads: “ _Lts. Du Bois and Vicquemare, best of the best and baddest of the badasses (’46)_ ”

 _Please save him_ , Harry had begged. 

Jean might not be able to save Kim Kitsuragi, but...

Maybe, just maybe, he can save someone else.

He stares at the photo for a bit longer before picking up his phone receiver.

He dials a number.

“Hi, Polly? Yeah, it’s me... Hey, I uh, might not be able to sleep at home tonight...”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter: Eyes and Kim play catch-up, but then Kim starts hearing voices in his head.


	3. The Light and the Darkness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The sky is blue, the breeze is cool, Eyes is laughing, and Kim has not felt this happy in a long time.

“So let me get this straight,” Eyes Legrand says around his cigarette as he tries to process everything that Kim had just said. “You get partnered up with an alcoholic amnesiac who’s suffering from the worst hangover of his life. He turns out to be this hotshot lieutenant double-yefreitor from the 41st who can talk to dead people...”

“And inanimate objects,” Kim adds helpfully, tapping ash off his cigarette.

Eyes takes a beat to process that, then continues, “... and inanimate objects. Together, you somehow manage to solve the murder of a Krenel mercenary, turn an abandoned church into a nightclub, and discover a new psychic-insect species. And,” Eyes raises a finger for emphasis, “this all happened in the span of a week.”

Kim nods. “Oh, and he also vandalized an innocent wall with, if I remember correctly, ‘FUCK THE POLICE’.”

Eyes frowns at him in confusion. “But... you _were_ the police.”

“I pointed that out to him too, but he just said, ‘Yeah, fuck us.’”

For a moment, neither of them speaks.

Then, very, very slowly, Eyes doubles over in his seat.

His shoulders start to shake.

Before Kim knows it, he’s chuckling too, and it doesn’t take very long before the two of them are laughing like madmen, clutching their stomachs and gasping for air.

“Oh, oh, _Dolores---_ ” Eyes wheezes as he wipes tears from his eyes, and Kim, basking in the luminosity of their shared joy, marvels at how gloriously _alive_ his former partner is.

How could he have ever thought otherwise?

* * *

_YOU – You wake up with a start._

_PERCEPTION – Aside from your labored breathing, the quiet hum of machinery, and that precious, rhythmic beeping, the world is silent and dark._

_PAIN THRESHOLD [Legendary: Failure] – Even though you just woke up, your whole body already feels heavy with exhaustion. Your throat feels like sandpaper, and your tongue is a flaccid worm sticking to the roof of your mouth._

_INLAND EMPIRE - The daily nightmares have been taking their toll on you, with their endless tunnels and too-sticky blood._

_There is no respite for you, even in sleep._

* * *

Eyes catches him staring. “Like what you see, Kitsuragi?” he teases with a wink.

If he had been the nervous rookie whom Eyes had met back in ’31, Kim would have been reduced to a stuttering mess at that question. Eyes is a _very_ attractive man, and there was a time when the smallest sign of affirmation from him was enough to send Kim’s heart racing a mile a minute.

But Kim’s grown mature enough to recognize that what he feels towards his former partner --- perhaps what he has always felt --- is an overwhelming devotion born from awe and gratitude. Awe, because Isaac Legrand is, and always will be, Kim’s standard for what a police officer should be like: brave, intelligent, and passionately committed to upholding what is right, and the fact that he considers Kim both an equal and a friend is a gift that Kim feels he will never fully deserve. 

And gratitude, because in all of the years that they were partners, Eyes had believed in Kim so much that Kim couldn’t help but end up believing in himself too.

... That doesn’t mean that he can’t play along, though.

Kim leans back and makes a show of looking Eyes over from head to toe. “Why yes, I do, Legrand,” he drawls. But then Eyes wiggles his eyebrows suggestively at him, and they both give in to another fit of laughter.

The sky is blue, the breeze is cool, Eyes is laughing, and Kim has not felt this happy in a long time.

“It’s... good to see you again, Eyes,” he says sincerely.

Eyes gives him a fond look. “It’s good to see you too, Speedfreak.”

* * *

_VOLITION [Challenging: Success] – It takes an almost superhuman effort, but you manage to force yourself to stand up and pad over towards the center of the room._

_PERCEPTION [Challenging: Success] – In the darkness, your fingers grope for the light switch near the bedside. They brush against it a few seconds later._

_YOU – You hesitate, instinctively worrying about whether turning on the light would bother him._

_But then you remember what had happened, and where you are._

_PAIN THRESHOLD [Legendary: Failure] - Your heart clenches in your chest._

_YOU - You turn on the light._

* * *

“By the way, Kim. This new partner of yours, Harvey---”

“Harry,” Kim corrects him before taking a deep drag of his cigarette.

“Yeah, Harry...” Eyes gazes out thoughtfully at the view. “Is he hot?”

The smoke in Kim’s lungs violently goes in reverse, and his cigarette flies an impressive distance as he splutters for air. Completely unapologetic, Eyes attempts to be helpful by patting him on the back and going, "There, there,” while Kim tries to salvage what remains of his dignity.

* * *

_PERCEPTION – The harsh, white light casts a corpse-like pallor on his face. He looks so frail and vulnerable amidst the mass of tubes, wires, and sheets that surround him that you cannot help but reach over to touch his hand, just to assure yourself that he’s real._

* * *

Kim coughs a few more times before looking incredulously at his former partner. “Pardon?”

“Is. He. Hot?” Eyes repeats, and it’s painfully obvious that he’s having too much fun with this line of questioning.

Kim becomes aware that his mouth is hanging open, and he slams his jaw shut with a click. He coughs into his fist.

“Khm. I’ve never thought of him that---”

“Kim, how long was I your partner?”

Kim blinks.

Eyes arches an eyebrow.

... _Damn_ , Kim has never been able to win against that. He sighs. “Four years.”

“Exactly. And in those four years, I have learned that you, my dear friend, have a type. And that type,” Eyes pauses to glance at him solemnly, “is the Smokin’ Hot Mess.”

He continues before Kim can protest. “And based on everything that you’ve told me about Detective Du Bois, I don’t think it’s possible to encounter a bigger, hotter mess than that man in all of the seven isolas.”

Back in their old precinct, new recruits tended to assume that Isaac Legrand got his nickname only after he became partners with the blind binoclard, Kim Kitsuragi. But they were mistaken. He’d been known as Eyes even while he was in police academy, because as early as then, he’d already displayed an absolutely uncanny ability to see right through people.

Kim never stood a chance.

* * *

_YOU – Your eyes drift down to the bandages that cover his lower torso._

_INLAND EMPIRE – The jacket that you used to staunch his wound is forever ruined. It lies discarded in a pile of biohazardous waste, eagerly waiting for the fiery embrace of the incinerator so that it can finally be released from the bloody burden that you have inflicted upon it._

_YOU – You stare at him for a bit longer. Then, you pull a nearby armchair towards you, all the while making sure that you do not let go of his hand._

_DRAMA – It is time to begin, sire._

_COMPOSURE – Swallowing the lump in your throat, you take a deep breath to gather your wits about you._

* * *

“Harry’s not a mess,” Kim hears himself say, and even to his own ears, it sounds weak and unconvincing. He winces. “He just went through an extremely traumatic experience that...”

“Makes him hear voices in his head? Kim, you just told me that the man talks to his own _tie_ sometimes.”

Kim opens his mouth. Then he shuts it again before he says something else that Eyes could use to mortify him even more.

He opts for a withering glare instead.

“Oh, and you didn’t deny that I got your type right.” Eyes grins victoriously, and Kim buries his face in his hands with a groan.

“Forget what I said earlier. It is so _not good_ to see you, Eyes. Not good at all.”

Eyes’ laughter rings out in the crisp air, and Kim is just about to say something else when---

* * *

_YOU - “Hey there, Kim,” you say._

_But, like all the other days before this one, he does not wake._

* * *

Kim blinks.

“... Harry?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter: Jean arrives at the hospital, and enters the dark.


	4. The Long Wait

By the time Jean parks his Coupris 40 outside of Revachol General Hospital, his stomach is already churning with wariness and dread. A week ago, in this exact same car, he had raced through the streets of Jamrock like a madman while Lt. Kim Kitsuragi slowly bled out on his backseat. The precinct mechanics had torn out and replaced all of the upholstery, and yet, Jean imagines that he can still smell the coppery tang of blood lingering in the air...

He suspects that it will never really go away.

Leaning his forehead against his steering wheel, Jean closes his eyes and tries to gather his thoughts. _You’re here for Harry_ , he reminds himself. _You’re here_ _to make sure that he doesn’t do anything stupid to himself or to anyone else when he finds out that the most important person in his life is probably going to stay in a coma forever---_

He barely stifles the insane urge to laugh and weep at the same time.

In the silence of his car, Jean becomes acutely aware of the harsh sound of his own breathing and the heavy thudding of his heart. An irrational anger fills him at the thought of his own weakness.

“Come on, Vicquemare,” he whispers to himself through gritted teeth, “ _Pull your shit together_.”

And with that, Jean Vicquemare shutters down all of his emotions, picks up his suitcase, and marches towards the hospital.

* * *

Just like the RCM, Revachol General Hospital is understaffed, underfunded, and overwhelmed. However, rather than crumbling in the face of almost insurmountable material and financial constraints, the hospital staff responded by becoming the most resourceful and competent sons-of-bitches that the medical establishment has ever seen.

Precinct 41’s own lazareth, Nix Gottlieb, is a former resident at RGH, and Jean has personally witnessed him suture an officer’s wound using dental floss and a sterilized pair of pliers.

“I’ve faced worse in RGH,” the lazareth had said after the procedure. “At least here, we actually have pliers.”

Given the hospital’s limited capacity, every available space is milked for maximum utility. The waiting area doubles as a first-aid and triage zone, and Jean quickens his pace when he sees a doctor performing what looked like an emergency appendectomy on an unfortunate woman. All of the corridors are lined with beds, some having two patients on them --- _three_ , if they’re particularly skinny.

Kim is confined in a private room on the second floor, just a few doors down from the nurses’ station. Dragging his suitcase behind him, Jean weaves his way through the maze of gurneys, wheelchairs, patients, doctors, nurses, and relatives that clutter the hallway. He gets quite a few glares along the way --- the police are not popular anywhere, even among the sick and the dying. But he brushes them all off with the practiced nonchalance of a person who has spent more than a decade perfecting the art of Not Giving a Damn.

When he gets to the second floor, Jean makes a beeline for Kim’s room. He quickly spots the officer who’s on shift tonight, who happens to be upholding the good name of the Revachol Citizens Militia by taking a nap in a chair with his mouth hanging open.

Jean feels a vein throb on his temple.

He clears his throat.

“McLaine.”

The red-haired sergeant lets out a loud snore.

Jean raises his eyes to the heavens and releases a long-suffering sigh.

“I’m surrounded by idiots,” he mutters to himself.

Then he delivers a swift, deliberate kick to Chester McLaine’s chair.

It works beautifully. The sergeant lets out a high-pitched yelp as he wakes up and topples over to the floor. He scrambles around for a bit before finally spotting Jean.

“Oh! H-Hey there, Boss!” Chester says, quickly clambering up from the floor and brushing off his pants. “I uh, I didn’t expect you to be here tonight.”

Jean gives him a withering glare. Chester McLaine is one of the two sergeants under his command, and Jean has worked with him long enough to know that what he does best is to find creative ways to slack off in any situation, no matter how dire.

Given that the other sergeant under him is Chester’s partner, Mack Torson, Jean has been considering the prospect of an early retirement for a long, _long_ time now. 

“I told you to keep watch over Harry, McLaine, not to display your fucking tonsils to the world.”

The sergeant gulps nervously. “Uh, sorry for that, Sir. Won’t happen again, I promise.”

Jean glares a bit longer at him before looking at the door to the room. “So what’s the situation here?”

“All quiet. Dick Mullen was asleep when I last checked in on him, but I left him some food for dinner.”

“Good. How’s...?”

Chester might be lazy, but he’s not slow. He sighs, “Same old. Still sleeping like the dead.”

Jean winces at that turn of phrase.

He suddenly notices how tired the sergeant looks, like he hasn’t been sleeping very well himself. Then, he remembers that, like many others in Precinct 41, Chester actually _likes_ Kim. A few weeks before this shitstorm happened, Chester and Mack invited Kitsuragi out for drinks, and the lieutenant thoroughly cemented his reputation with the two sergeants as a Complete Bad-Ass by beating up a couple of thugs who had stirred up some trouble at the bar.

“You should have seen him, Boss! He was like, KA-BAM! Then, he went like WHAPOW!” McLaine had enthusiastically recounted to Jean while chopping his hands in the air like a deranged chef.

Chester was there when they went to the tunnels, and he stayed with them when they rushed Kim to the hospital. He volunteered to take extra shifts, even if that meant staying at the hospital for a grueling 36 hours. Just like Jean, he’s worried about Kim, and he’s worried about Harry too.

Now Jean feels like a heartless bastard for waking Chester up.

...Doesn’t mean he’ll apologize for it though. He still needs to show the sergeant who’s the boss around here, after all.

“So, uh. You staying the night here, Boss?” Chester asks, gesturing to Jean’s suitcase.

Jean nods. “Yeah, I am. But stay here until I get settled in, McLaine.”

Chester gives him a small salute, and Jean finally moves to stand in front of the door. He’s dimly aware of how dry his throat is, and how clammy his hands have become.

 _Pull your shit together,_ he tells himself. 

Jean lifts a hand to knock---

Then, he stops.

And listens.

“McLaine.”

Chester looks up at him. “Yeah, Boss?”

“Is anyone else in there with Harry?”

The sergeant blinks and shakes his head. “Uh, no. It’s just him in there. With Kim, I mean.”

Jean frowns and narrows his eyes at the door. 

“So... who’s he talking to right now, Chester?”

“Oh,” Chester’s face brightens up as he realizes the reason for Jean’s bewilderment. “He’s talking to Kim, Boss.”

Jean did not expect to hear that. “But Kim’s---”

“Well, uh,” Chester scratches the back of his head sheepishly. “Seems like Trant told Dick Mullen that unconscious people can actually still hear you if you talk to them. To make him feel better, you know? Since then, he’s been talking to Kim all the time, save for when he has to eat, sleep, or go to the john.”

Jean contemplates that for a moment.

In the first few days after Kim’s confinement, Harry was an inconsolable wreck. He vacillated between catatonic episodes where he would stay motionless and weep silently beside Kim’s bed, and manic episodes where he would ambush doctors and nurses around the hospital, begging them to save Kim’s life or shouting incoherent statements about the grievous sins of the medical establishment.

It reached the point where Jean had begun to seriously consider the prospect of forcibly removing Harry from the hospital premises, just so he would stop making a fool of himself and of the entire RCM.

Then Trant Heidelstam volunteered to go on shift at the hospital, and the complaints stopped.

Now, Jean knows why.

He imagines Harry, sitting beside Kim’s bed and speaking to him for hours on end. He imagines Harry speaking to Kim until his voice gives out, or until the pull of hunger, thirst, or sleep become too much to bear. He imagines Harry casting his voice like a tenuous line into the dark ocean of Kim Kitsuragi’s unconsciousness, hoping against hope that the lieutenant would hear and follow it back to the land of the living.

Jean doesn’t know whether he wants to shake Trant’s hand, or punch him in the stomach.

“You can go home now, McLaine,” he hears himself telling the sergeant. “I’ll take care of things here tonight.”

Chester looks at him with surprise. He’s about to ask something, but quickly clams up when he sees Jean’s expression.

“O-okay, Boss. I’ll, uh, just excuse myself then...”

After McLaine finally leaves, Jean stands for a long while in front of Kim’s room. He closes his eyes, carefully tuning in to the gravelly sound of Harry’s voice coming from beyond the door. He cannot make out the words, but he can feel the weary, forlorn hope that lies beneath them.

He stands there until the words stop.

Then, he opens the door.

“Hello, Harry,” he says.

Then Jean steps into the darkness, and closes the door behind him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to Darelz and Kawa from the Disco(rd) Elysium for beta-ing this chapter!


	5. The Truth

_Hey there, Kim._

* * *

Kim blinks.

“...Harry?”

* * *

_It’s me again._

_You must be getting tired of hearing me drone on and on like this. Blame Trant. He_ _’s the one who told me that it would help if I talked to you, that you could still hear me, even if you’re---_

* * *

Bewildered, Kim abruptly stands up from his seat and looks around. 

“Eyes, do you hear that?”

“Hear what?” Eyes sounds genuinely confused, but Kim could’ve sworn that he heard---

* * *

_I don’t know if you’re hearing any of this. I hope you are._

_But even if you don’t..._

_I’ll keep on talking until you do._

* * *

The unmistakable voice of Lieutenant Double-Yefreitor Harrier Du Bois rumbles through Kim’s consciousness like a low, mournful peal of thunder. It seems to come from all directions, but from a great distance away.

Kim strains to make out what Harry is saying...

* * *

_It’s hard to believe that we’ve been here for a week. It feels like it’s been longer, like it’s been... forever._

_I don’t know what time it is right now, but it’s dark outside._

_Is it... dark where you are too, Kim?_

* * *

Slowly, Kim looks up to behold the bright blue sky above him.

He remains silent for a while.

“No, Harry,” he finally whispers, still staring up at the sky. “It’s not.”

* * *

_I hope you’re in a bright place. A good place. A place where you can rest and heal up properly._

_I hope you’re in the most beautiful place in the universe, because..._

_Because that’s where you deserve to be._

* * *

Kim’s heart clenches in his chest.

In a moment of blinding clarity, he realizes that he wants to tell Harry many things.

He wants to tell Harry that the most beautiful place in the universe is a wide open airfield under a baby-blue sky, that this place is bright and good and everything that Kim has ever dreamed of.

He wants to tell Harry about Eyes, about the miraculous fact that Eyes is alive, and about how Eyes laughed his heart out when Kim told him about Harry’s mural in Martinaise.

But most of all...

He wants to tell Harry that this wide, bright place under a baby-blue sky is neither good nor beautiful without Harry in it.

Kim opens his mouth to say all of these.

But the words fail to come.

* * *

_Sorry. I uh. Hah, would you look at that. I just made myself cry, Kim. I’m crying like a big, fat, middle-aged baby. Haha. How... how pathetic of me._

_Come on, Du Bois. **Pull your shit together**._

* * *

Kim stares up at the sky for a bit longer.

Then, he asks a question.

“Eyes,” he says, in a quiet, barely trembling voice. “What’s going on?”

* * *

_Okay. Let’s... try that again._

_Everyone in the precinct’s dropped by at some point to check on you. Trant, Judit, Mack. Even Jules made time to come over. It’s Chester’s turn today. He’s probably taking a nap outside right now._

_Jean hasn’t come to visit yet. But I’m sure he’ll show up soon._

_He always does._

* * *

When Eyes fails to answer, Kim turns around to look at his friend.

Eyes Legrand is silently gazing at the horizon. His cigarette smoulders between his lips.

In the face of his silence, Kim’s stomach churns with dread.

“Eyes?” 

* * *

_Remember that time back in Martinaise, when Jean and Judit went undercover to check up on me?_

_I still remember the look on Jean’s face when I told him that you were cooler than him. I don’t think he’s ever forgiven me for saying that._

_But you know what?_

_I think he’s starting to see how cool you are too._

* * *

Slowly, Eyes exhales a plume of smoke. 

A trickle of cold sweat trails down Kim’s nape.

Then, Eyes Legrand looks up and meets Kim’s gaze.

“Kim,” he finally says. “I’m dead.”

* * *

_Chester and Mack have definitely seen how cool you are. They couldn’t stop talking about how you beat up those two punks at the bar. I wish I could have been there to see that._

_But then again, I might have just cramped your style._

_Judit’s another one. Seems like you made a really good impression on her when she toured you around the Jamrock beat. She won’t talk to me about what happened though._

_Looks like I’ll have to get that story out of you one day, Kim._

_One day._

_I’ll do that for sure._

* * *

Time stops.

“What?” Kim hears himself say. “But you’re right here---“

“Kim,” Eyes says in a gentle but sad voice. “I’ve been dead for six years. And you know that. You were at my funeral, remember?”

The seventeen shots. The little boy. The casket. The rain.

Yes. Kim does remember.

But he wishes, with every fiber of his being, that he did not.

* * *

_Come to think of it, there’s a lot about you that I don’t know yet. But there’s a lot that I do know about you too._

_I know that you like Mesque food, even if you hate how it makes your breath smell like onion._

_I know that you love your car more than you love most people._

_Except for me, of course._

_...Right?_

_I know that you’re practically blind without your glasses. You threw such a fit when I hid them from you that one time. I don’t think I’ve recovered from the tongue-lashing that you gave me after that. I don’t think I ever will._

_... You looked really good without your glasses though._

_I know that you were the best damn officer in the 57 th, and that you’ll never admit it because that’s just the way you are. But everyone knows it anyway. _

_I know that you care a lot about how cool you look, that you’re deathly afraid of looking like a fool in front of other people, that you love to win at board games, that you love Speedfreak FM and that you turn into an absolute demon when you’re behind the wheel._

_I know all of that about you._

_But even if I know all of that, I still have absolutely no idea why someone like you would choose to be with a mess like me._

* * *

Suddenly, Kim becomes acutely aware of several things.

First, Eyes hasn’t aged at all since the last time Kim has seen him.

Second, the RCM uniform that Eyes is wearing was phased out five years ago.

Finally---and Kim wonders why he didn’t notice this earlier---Eyes isn’t casting a shadow on the ground.

Absently, Kim looks down at ground beneath his feet...

And marvels at the absence of the shadow that should have been there.

* * *

_Ha, that sounded like a cheesy line from those radio dramas that you hate so much._

_I meant it, though. I’ll make sure to ask you again, if---_

* * *

A horrible comprehension slowly dawns in Kim’s mind.

“So, I'm---”

Eyes shakes his head. “No, Kim. You’re not dead.”

Then, he sighs heavily. “At least... not yet.”

Kim suddenly finds it very hard to breathe.

 _Calm down, Kitsuragi_ , he tells himself, desperately trying to keep his bearings while his mind races to make sense out of this situation.

Maybe this was just a bad dream. A bad dream where he’s in an abandoned airfield, talking to his dead partner. A bad dream where he hears Harry speaking to him in the voice of a broken man who's clinging onto the last traces of hope.

A bad dream that he could wake up from any moment now.

* * *

_When._

_When you wake up._

* * *

But deep in his heart, Kim knows that he’s lying to himself.

He knows that this isn’t a dream. He knows that Eyes is dead. He knows that even if he shouts and screams at the sky, Harry would not hear him. 

* * *

_So. You have to wake up, Kim._

_You have to._

* * *

Kim knows that this isn’t a dream. And that even if it was...

He has no idea how to wake up from it. 


	6. The Vigil

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The art in this chapter was made by the wonderful morganlines!

**YOU** – “So. You have to wake up, Kim.”

 **COMPOSURE** [Godly: Failure] – After soldiering through your monologue, your voice finally shatters into a broken whisper beneath the unbearable strain of your hope and grief.

 **YOU** \- “You have to.”

**PAIN THRESHOLD** [Legendary: Failure] – A tremendous wave of exhaustion sweeps over you, as if that last plea has sapped you of all your strength. 

**VOLITION** [Godly: Success] – The only thing that stops you from keeling over and turning into a catatonic ball of anguish is the knowledge that if you do so, Kim will be left defenseless and alone against the darkness that threatens to consume you both.

You will never forgive yourself if you let this happen.

**INLAND EMPIRE** [Legendary: Success] – During these past nights, you have had strange dreams where you see the lieutenant standing in a vast, green field. He is lost, but he does not know it. He wanders, yet stays in place.

In that impossible world, the sky is blue, the sun is shining, and your frantic shouts are drowned out by the lieutenant’s joy at seeing a beloved specter from his past standing in front of him.

**YOU** – Closing your eyes, you try to muster enough focus and strength so that you can continue talking to Kim.

What can you say next...?

 **DRAMA** – Perhaps you can grace the lieutenant’s slumbering ears with a glorious tale of woe, daring, and danger from your illustrious personal history, my liege. 

**ESPRIT DE CORPS** – Maybe you can tell him about a memory that you have of him? Lt. Kitsuragi may respond to that more than to a haphazard jumble of narrative cliches.

 **CONCEPTUALIZATION** – Excuse me? Are you saying that my work is mediocre and unoriginal?

 **YOU** – Ignoring the squabble that’s going on in your head, you try to evoke a memory that you have of Kim...

**INLAND EMPIRE** [Godly: Success] – **Kim’s hand convulses within your grip, and you clasp it tightly while your other hand staunches the wound in his abdomen. He shudders and coughs up more blood---**

 **HALF-LIGHT** [Legendary: Failure] – NO!!!!

 **YOU** – You jolt back in your chair so hard that you skid a few inches away from Kim’s bedside.

 **COMPOSURE** [Godly: Failure] – Your whole body trembles violently, as if you’ve just been splashed with ice-cold water.

 **PAIN THRESHOLD** [Challenging: Failure] – Maybe you should stick to a ... safer topic? Like what you had for breakfast today, or one of those old cases in your ledger. Your heart probably can’t take another episode like that, and you’ll be no use to Kim if you’re going through cardiac arrest.

 **PERCEPTION** [Easy: Success) – Just as you’re about to come up with a better memory, the door to the room slowly creaks open behind you.

 **LOGIC** [Godly: Success] - You do not need to turn around to know who it is.

**YOU** – “Jean.”

 **JEAN VICQUEMARE** – Unfazed by your omniscience, the lieutenant stands in the doorway for a while.

“Hello, Harry,” he greets, his rough voice uncharacteristically muted.

 **ESPRIT DE CORPS** [Medium: Success] – Beneath the lieutenant’s greeting, you sense a great current of weariness, as if somehow, he too has been participating in your never-ending vigil.

 **EMPATHY** [Formidable: Success] - He is worried about you, and he is not sure how he can be of help. Nonetheless, he seems determined to accompany you through this ordeal. 

**JEAN VICQUEMARE** – Quietly, he steps inside the room and shuts the door behind him.

 **YOU** – You’re far too exhausted to offer him a seat. Luckily, Jean has never needed your permission or invitation to do anything.

**JEAN VICQUEMARE** – He brings over a nearby chair and sits down next to you. 

**PERCEPTION** [Legendary: Success] - His eyes briefly land on yours and Kim’s linked hands, but he says nothing of it.

 **YOU** \- Together, you and Jean spend a long while gazing silently at Kim’s sleeping figure.

 **INLAND EMPIRE** [Heroic: Success] – The lieutenant’s solid, yet sympathetic presence lends itself as an anchor that you can cling onto amidst the phantasmagoric pastiche of nightmares, visions, and waking dreams that assail your consciousness. 

**EMPATHY** – You will never admit this to anyone, but the fact that Jean actually showed up manages to relieve a small portion of the weariness and grief that has been weighing down on you like an oppressive mantle.

And for that, you are grateful. 

**JEAN VICQUEMARE** – After a few moments, the lieutenant finally breaks the silence between you.

“How’ve you been, Harry?” he asks quietly, without looking away from Kim.

 **INLAND** **EMPIRE** – You’ve been stuck in a never-ending nightmare.

 **COMPOSURE** [Godly: Failure] – You’ve been crying yourself to sleep every night.

 **PAIN THRESHOLD** [Godly: Failure] – You’ve been crushing your heart into pieces with every word that you’ve spoken to Kim.

**YOU** – “... Not good,” you manage to croak out.

 **JEAN VICQUEMARE** – He nods at your eloquence. Then, he says, “Yeah. You look like shit.”

 **DRAMA** [Easy: Success] – No truer words have been said, sire.

 **YOU** \- In return for allowing you to stay in Kim’s room, the doctors required you to take a shower every day, if only for the sake of keeping Kim’s environment as sterile and as hygienic as possible.

You’ve complied with that request, but in your constant exhaustion, you’ve forgone other unnecessary tasks such as shaving, sleeping, and eating. Now, you suddenly become aware of your overgrown beard, the heavy bags that sag under your eyes, and the gnawing hunger in your gut.

“Fuck you, Jean,” you growl half-heartedly.

 **JEAN VICQUEMARE** – He smirks.

 **ESPRIT DE CORPS** [Easy: Success] – The lieutenant is relieved to hear that you still have some spunk left in you, despite everything that’s happened.

**YOU** – Compelled by a week’s worth of paranoia and devotion, your eyes gravitate towards Kim’s prone form.

 **CONCEPTUALIZATION** – As cliché as it sounds, Kim looks as though he were just sleeping. Even in repose, he looks calm and dignified, like a slumbering Seolite monarch.

 **PERCEPTION** \- This illusion is mercilessly shattered by the a mass of wires and tubes that are attached to various parts of his body. An oxygen mask covers the lower half of his face, and the faint, wheezing sound of his breathing, coupled with the rhythmic beeping of his heart monitor, has forever embedded itself into your brain as the unadulterated sound of both hope and despair.

 **CONCEPTUALIZATION** – Over the past week, you have studied Kim’s sleeping profile with the reverence of a mournful supplicant --- the slope of his brow, the arc of his nose, the curve of his cheek. You have always considered him handsome, but after seeing his features softened by peaceful repose, you find that only one word can truly do him justice.

 _Breathtaking_. 

**PERCEPTION (Touch)** – The lieutenant’s hand is cold and limp in yours. Without his gloves, your hand easily dwarfs his, and you marvel at the difference between them. Where your fingers are thick and fleshy, his are long and slender. Where your wrist is sturdy and thick-boned, his looks thin and fragile.

 **YOU** \- Your eyes linger on the needle that pierces the back of his hand, and the narrow tube that snakes up to the bag of fluid hanging above the bed.

It takes you a few moments before you can finally avert your gaze. 

**PERCEPTION (Sight)** [Challenging: Success] – The room is cloaked in darkness, with only Kim’s bedside lamp casting an island of light amidst a sea of shadows. As your eyes adjust, the vague outlines of objects begin to emerge like floating debris --- a pile of unwashed clothing on the floor; a wide-open suitcase whose contents are haphazardly scattered around it; a small, unmade cot by a heavily curtained window.

 **ENDURANCE** [Medium: Failure] – The mere sight of the cot sends a flood of fatigue coursing through your entire body.

 **YOU** \- You are suddenly finding it very, very difficult to keep your eyes open...

Suddenly, there’s a hand on your shoulder.

**JEAN VICQUEMARE** – “Hey, you falling asleep on me?”

 **ESPRIT DE CORPS** [Easy: Success] – The lieutenant’s voice is gruff, but concerned.

 **YOU** – You shake your head vigorously and blink a few times to clear away your drowsiness.

 **PAIN THRESHOLD** [Medium: Failure] – It doesn’t work at all.

 **JEAN VICQUEMARE** – He frowns and stares at you for a moment, as if he were deliberating something...

 **SUGGESTION –** Maybe you can try convincing him that you’re fine, that you haven’t been running on just two hours of sleep every night for the past week, that your brain isn’t turning into mush with every passing minute.

 **YOU** – “Jean, I’m... asepuoonfaeml...”

 **SUGGESTION** [Impossible: Failure] – Yes, that most _definitely_ convinced him. Go you.

**JEAN VICQUEMARE** – He sighs.

“Chester was napping outside, and I had to kick him awake. Do I have to kick you into that cot for you to take a nap?”

 **ESPRIT DE CORPS** [Easy: Success] – The image of Jean kicking a sleeping Chester plays itself in your mind with astounding clarity. You’ve seen it happen so many times before that it’s practically a routine between them now.

 **VOLITION** [Legendary: Failure] – The thought of taking a nap is so alluring that tears of relief fill your eyes just thinking about it. You could probably fall asleep sitting upright in this very chair, if it comes to that.

**YOU** – “But... I can’t. What if---”

 **HALF-LIGHT** – _What if Kim wakes up? What if his heart stops? What if he---_

 **JEAN VICQUEMARE** \- “Go to sleep,” he says with uncharacteristic gentleness, “and I’ll watch over him.”

 **ESPRIT DE CORPS** [Medium: Success] – If it were anyone else, you would probably have said no. As much as you trust your fellow officers, Kim’s well-being is too fragile, too precious, for you to leave him in someone else’s hands.

But this is Jean. Sturdy, dependable, mulishly stubborn Jean, who has weathered through the radioactive fallout of your self-destructive behavior with gritted teeth and fanatic hope; who has put his sanity and his career on the line to give you not a second but a _fourth_ chance at being a decent human being; and who has chosen to accompany you in this dark, never-ending vigil, even when everyone else has shirked away.

For everything that he has gone through for you, the very least that you could give him is your absolute trust.

**YOU** – Sighing in resignation, you squeeze Kim’s hand one last time.

 _I’ll be back, Kim. I promise_ , you tell him silently.

“Alright, Jean. I’ll... just close my eyes for a bit.”

 **JEAN VICQUEMARE** – The lieutenant nods in approval.

 **EMPATHY** [Medium: Success] – He’s both relieved and intimidated by the magnitude of your trust.

**HAND-EYE COORDINATION** [Challenging: Success] – Possessed by absolute fatigue and sleep deprivation, your body lifts itself out of your chair and pads towards the cot.

 **SMALL COT** – Like a tempting, unkempt haven of bliss and comfort, it beckons you towards a few hours’ worth of blessed oblivion...

 **YOU** – You’re asleep even before your head hits the pillow. 

* * *

**ANCIENT REPTILIAN BRAIN** – My, my. You’ve really outdone yourself this time, Harry-boy. Congratulations! You’ve just elevated your life to a whole new level of fucked-upness.

I’m _so_ proud of you.

**YOU** – It... It wasn’t my fault. I didn’t know---

 **LIMBIC SYSTEM** – Oh, really? Who was it who chose to go down into the darkness, even when every cell in their body was screaming for them to stop? Who was it who carved out their heart and offered it up to the Haloed one, when they knew that he was just as fallible and as mortal as the rest of the fighting apes on this planet?

 **ANCIENT REPTILIAN BRAIN** – Ah, the Haloed one. He trusted you, Harry. He _truly_ trusted you.

In fact, he might even have loved you.

...But look where that got him.

Look where _you_ got him, Harry-boy.

* * *

**_Pull your shit together, Kitsuragi_ ** _, Kim tells himself, even as he struggles to keep his composure in the face of everything that Eyes has just told him._

**_You’re not yet dead. There might still be a way out of this._ **

_His hands instinctively reach into his jacket, but his notebook isn’t there._

_Its absence sends another jolt of panic through Kim’s chest._

**_Take deep breaths. Think._ **

**_What would Harry do?_ **

_The thought of Harry makes Kim’s heart clench, but it also serves as an anchor that he clings to with the desperation of a drowning man._

**_What would Harry do?_ ** _Kim asks himself again._

_Harry would... ask questions. He would ask all the questions. He would ask every question that could possibly be asked, no matter how pointless or absurd._

_Harry would try to get a reality lowdown from anyone who would be willing to put up with him._

_Kim looks at the only other person in this impossible world._

**_Time to get a reality lowdown, Kitsuragi_ ** _._

* * *

**YOU** – No! He’ll be alright. He’s going to wake up anytime soon---

 **ANCIENT REPTILIAN BRAIN –** That’s right. Keep on lying to yourself, because you’re so good at that.

Let me tell you something, Harry-boy: Hope is a poison. And you, my dear, delusional friend, are drowning in it. A whole, toxic ocean full of hope. 

**LIMBIC SYSTEM** – You also swam in this ocean with the apricot-scented one, and we all remember how well that turned out. 

* * *

_“Eyes, what can you tell me about this place?”_

_Eyes looks at Kim with surprise, as if he didn’t expect Kim to recover so quickly from the shock of finding out about what was really happening. But his surprise is quickly replaced by a look of fond admiration._

_“Well,” Eyes says, “we’re somewhere...in between. Think of this place as a waiting area of sorts.”_

_A waiting area for what? Kim is about to ask, but the answer hits him so hard that he has to suppress a horrified shiver._

_“It’s different for everybody. I never had one myself, but yours is pretty nice.” Eyes gestures to the airfield, with its blue sky and green grass. “It’s pretty considerate of them, actually. Plus, they send in a welcoming committee too. Which is why I’m here.”_

_“Who’s ‘them’?” Kim asks, though he’s already dreading the answer._

_“Oh, you know. They’re the ones who made everything. It’s... kind of hard to explain. But don’t worry, you’ll get the chance to meet them soon, if---”_

_Eyes leaves that sentence hanging, and Kim doesn’t know whether he loves or hates his friend for giving him that small mercy._

* * *

**ANCIENT REPTILIAN BRAIN** – So let me do you a favor and give you a peek into what’s to come, Harry-boy.

When you wake up...

He’ll be **_dead_**.

 **LIMBIC SYSTEM** – Totally dead.

 **ANCIENT REPTILIAN BRAIN** – Deadady-dead-dead-dead.

 **LIMBIC SYSTEM** – Daba-doop-doop-dead.

 **YOU** – No.

 **NO**!!!!

 **ANCIENT REPTILIAN BRAIN** – Oh **_yes_** , baby! He’ll be dead, and you’ll jump right in after him. You’ll make sure that you go in the most painful way possible too.

After all, that’s what you deserve right, Harry-boy?

That’s what you deserve for failing me.

For failing him.

For failing _everyone_.

* * *

_While Kim is trying to process this new information, Eyes gazes at him with an inquisitive look in his eyes._

_“Kim,” his friend finally says, “Do you remember anything from before you came here?”_

_Kim considers the question..._

_Then, he blinks._

_“I ... don’t?”_

_For some horrifying reason, Kim remembers nothing of what had happened to him immediately before he found himself in the airfield._

_Eyes shakes his head sympathetically. “I thought so,” he says._

_“Try to remember, Kim. What happened before you came here?”_

_Frowning with effort, Kim tries his best to gather his thoughts ---_

* * *

**LIMBIC SYSTEM** – A distant roaring reaches your ears, echoing in your skull and shaking your teeth in their sockets. But this sound isn’t coming from the world where your meatbag is tossing and turning in helpless terror. No...

This sound is coming from your past.

 **ANCIENT REPTILIAN BRAIN** – Welcome to our nightly broadcast, Harry-boy. There’s only one show in town, and it’s just as horrifying and bloody as you remembered it.

You’re the main star, and you have absolutely no choice but to sit through it again. And again. And again.

Are you ready, baby?

 **YOU** – No. No! I... I want to wake up---

 **ANCIENT REPTILIAN BRAIN** – No can do, Harry. You’ve paid for the ticket, and no one’s allowed to leave the cinema until the show’s over.

So sit back. Relax.

And watch him die again.

**YOU** – You try to scream, but no sound comes out of your throat---

* * *

_Then, all of a sudden, a flood of memories rushes_ _back into Kim's mind._

_He remembers---_

* * *

And the nightmare begins.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you've stuck with this up to this point, then you must really, _really_ enjoy making yourself suffer.
> 
> Well, I'm here to deliver.
> 
> Hold on tight, folks. Things are gonna get _wild_.


	7. The Nightmare: Part I

_“Harry and I --- We went to the Burnt Out Quarter for an investigation,” Kim says haltingly as the memories trickle back into his mind._

* * *

**SHIVERS** – The crumbling tenement buildings of the Burnt Out Quarter stretch across the horizon like the jagged, blackened teeth of a gaping giant. Beyond them, the river Esperance shirks around this desolate landscape, eagerly rushing towards more promising districts: Boogie Street, The Old South, Grand Couron.

More than four decades have passed since the Great Conflagration, yet the air still smells of charred wood, noxious gasoline, and beneath it all, the faintest whiff of burning flesh...

 **YOU** – It has only been a few minutes since you and your partner, Lt. Kim Kitsuragi, disembarked from his Coupris Kineema to survey the vicinity. There’s not much to see --- only knee-high patches of dead grass and a skeletal tree whose bare branches reach towards the gray sky like desiccated claws.

 **SHIVER** S – Before the fire, this area was lush and green and teeming with life. The tenement buildings housed hundreds of families, simple, working-class people who dreamed of a better future for themselves and their children.

Now, only their ashes remain.

... And of course, the tunnel.

**PERCEPTION (Sight)** [Challenging: Failure] - Before you looms a gigantic, concrete tunnel, wide enough to accommodate three Kineemas driving side-by-side. The darkness within it is impenetrable.

 **CONCEPTUALIZATION** [Medium: Success] – Like the maw of a giant creature waiting for unfortunate victims that it can swallow up whole.

**INLAND EMPIRE** – _THIS IS AN EVIL PLACE_

**_FLEE WHILE YOU CAN_ **

* * *

_“Harry looked scared. Petrified. I’d never seen him that scared before.”_

* * *

**COMPOSURE** [Medium: Failure] – Cold sweat drenches your brow. Your hands are clammy. Your knees feel weak. A horrible, nauseating dread crawls up your throat.

 **KIM KITSURAGI** – Beside you, the lieutenant also looks ill-at-ease, though not as much as you do.

“Are you alright, Detective?” he asks.

 **YOU** – Kim’s voice shakes you out of your stupor, and you manage to tear your gaze away from the voracious abyss before you.

“Yeah. I’m... I’m okay.”

 **EMPATHY** [Challenging: Success] – No, you are not okay, and Kim senses that.

 **KIM KITSURAGI** – His brow furrows as he takes in your obvious distress.

 **ESPRIT DE CORPS** [Legendary: Success] – The lieutenant is weighing whether the two of you can afford to give up this lead. He is eager to solve this case, but he is not willing to risk your well-being for the sake of an additional line on his ledger... Even for a case is as important as this one. 

**YOU** – “Really, Kim. I’m okay.”

 **COMPOSURE** [Challenging: Success] – It’s somewhat true. You’ve managed to keep most of the trembling under check, and you no longer feel like running away while screaming in terror.

 **KIM KITSURAGI** – He looks over you one more time, and seems assured by what he sees.

“Alright. Do you want to go over the case details again before we go in?” he asks gently.

 **YOU** – You nod, grateful for the opportunity to gather your wits about you some more.

“Sure. Let’s have it.”

 **KIM KITSURAGI** – The lieutenant reaches into his jacket and gets his notebook. He flips it open.

* * *

_“It was a retrieval case. We were tracking down a filament that had been stolen from the main RCM intelligence department.”_

* * *

**KIM KITSURAGI** – “The filament contains the names of all the RCM officers who are currently undercover in various drug cartels across Jamrock, notably La Puta Madre’s and the Mazda’s...”

* * *

_“It looked like an inside job. We spent a full week gathering evidence and tracing leads, and it led us to the tunnel.”_

* * *

**KIM KITSURAGI** – “...As per your deduction, Detective, the composition of the soil sample that we found in that abandoned hideout matches that of a certain part of the Burnt Out Quarter...”

He shuts his notebook and looks up at you. “And so, here we are.”

 **LOGIC** [Medium: Success] – The inventory of facts and evidence that you have accumulated throughout your investigation slots into place within your mind, and its solid rationality manages to relieve some of your dread.

 **YOU** – “Thanks, Kim,” you tell him sincerely.

 **KIM KITSURAGI** – He nods, and puts back his notebook into his jacket.

“We should get ready to head in. I’ll get our flashlights from the Kineema.”

 **REACTION SPEED** [Heroic: Success] – Before the lieutenant can walk away, an idea suddenly forces itself into your mind so strongly that you blurt out the words before you can stop yourself.

 **YOU** \- “Kim, wait.”

**KIM KITSURAGI** – He pauses and looks back at you.

 **YOU** – “We should call for back-up. Who knows what’s waiting for us down there?”

**INLAND EMPIRE** – _A SCARRED WOMAN IN RED_

**KIM KITSURAGI** – The lieutenant deliberates this for a moment. Then, he nods slowly. “That’s a good idea, Detective. Would you like me to call the precinct, or---?”

 **ESPRIT DE CORPS** [Easy: Success] – _Or would you rather do it?_ he means to ask.

 **EMPATHY** – The mere idea of being left alone in front of the tunnel while Kim walks to his Kineema fills you with terror.

 **REACTION SPEED** [Easy: Success] – You jump at the chance like a drowning man scrambling for a life preserver. 

**YOU** – “Yeah, I’ll do it.”

**PERCEPTION** (Hearing) [Trivial: Success] – Suddenly, a loud, gurgling growl rumbles through the air.

 **COMPOSURE** [Godly: Failure] – You leap so high into the air that you leave a small dust cloud behind you.

**KIM KITSURAGI** – Unfazed, the lieutenant merely raises an eyebrow.

“Better ask them to bring food too, Detective,” he says. “That sounded like an emergency.”

 **VOLITION** [Heroic: Success] – You barely manage to resist the urge to throw yourself into the river out of mortification.

* * *

_“We called for back-up... and for some snacks, because Harry was hungry.”_

_Eyes chuckles._

* * *

**YOU** – Putting the radio back onto the receiver, you realize that you feel much more confident now about entering the tunnel.

 **ESPRIT DE CORPS** [Legendary: Success] – Back at Precinct 41, Jules Pidieu relays your message to Lt. Jean Vicquemare, who quickly begins to issue orders to the other members of the Major Crimes Division. They should be here in less than two hours. Also, they will most likely buy bagels for you along the way.

 **YOU** – Still, you cannot help but feel that there’s something else that you need to settle before you descend into the darkness...

You look over to where Kim’s standing.

**KIM KITSURAGI** – The lieutenant is leaning against the hood of the Kineema as he checks his sidearm. He looks focused, if a bit nervous.

 **EMPATHY** – The mere sight of him sends a mysterious pang through your chest, and you suddenly remember what it is that you need to do.

Or rather, what you need to say.

**YOU** – “Kim.”

 **KIM KITSURAGI** – He looks up from his gun.

 **CONCEPTUALIZATION** [Formidable: Success] – In this desolate wasteland, his orange bomber jacket is the only dash of brightness and vitality.

 **SAVOIR FAIRE** \- A rustling breeze flicks a stray hair onto his forehead, and you have a sudden urge to smooth it back with your fingers.

**YOU –** You move to stand in front of him, all the while trying to stifle the butterflies in your stomach. 

“I... have something to tell you.”

 **KIM KITSURAGI** – Holstering his gun, he stands up straight and meets your gaze.

 **EMPATHY** [Formidable: Success]– He has a feeling about what you're about to say... And he’s both excited and anxious about it.

 **VOLITION** [Godly: Success] – It’s now or never. 

**COMPOSURE** – You take a deep breath to steel your nerves.

 **ELECTROCHEMISTRY** – Heart rate’s _off the charts_ , baby!

 **YOU** – “Kim, I ---”

**KIM KITSURAGI** – Before you can get another word out, the lieutenant lifts a finger to your lips.

“Harry, don’t.” His voice is gentle but firm.

 **ESPRIT DE CORPS** – Not “Detective,” or “Lieutenant Double-Yefreitor,” but “ _Harry._ ”

 **YOU** – You gape at him. “But---”

 **KIM KITSURAGI** – His finger stays on your lips. “I have something to tell you too. But whatever we have to tell each other, it can wait until after we get that filament back.”

 **ESPRIT DE CORPS** [Legendary: Success] – The lieutenant is worried that if you pour your hearts out to each other here, then you will never enter that tunnel, and this case will never get solved.

**INLAND EMPIRE** – _YOU WILL NEVER GET TO TELL HIM IF YOU DO NOT TELL HIM NOW_

**YOU** – You try to muster the words again, but they falter in the face of Kim’s silent plea.

 **VOLITION** [Easy: Success] - The daily discipline of that single cigarette has forged the lieutenant’s willpower into cold, hard steel. If it weren’t for that, he would have already relented and let you speak.

 **EMPATHY** [Legendary: Success] – He wants to hear what you have to say. Badly. _Very_ badly. But he also knows that what you have to say will alter the course of his life so much that he cannot bear to hear it now.

 **VOLITION** [Godly: Success] – The sheer magnitude of everything that you want to tell him threatens to make your heart burst out of your chest, but you manage to contain it. With difficulty.

 _Great_ difficulty. 

**YOU** – Gulping, you nod.

“Alright, Kim. We’ll talk. After.”

**INLAND EMPIRE** – _THERE WILL BE NO AFTER, YOU FOOL_

**KIM KITSURAGI** – He gives you a small, grateful smile that makes your heart leap.

He pulls his finger away---

 **REACTION SPEED** [Medium: Success] – But you grab his hand before he can completely pull back. 

**KIM KITSURAGI** – He blinks in surprise.

* * *

_“Then, Harry---”_

* * *

**SAVOIR FAIRE** [Challenging: Success] – Before he can say anything, you pull his hand forward...

...and reverently press his knuckles to your lips.

* * *

_The words die in Kim’s throat._

_His ears grow warm._

* * *

**EMPATHY** [Medium: Success] – During that brief, precious moment of contact, you try to convey all of the tumultuous emotions that you feel towards him. Longing, gratitude, anxiety, hope, tenderness...

Love.

 **COMPOSURE** [Godly: Success] – His unfortunate inability to blush makes it difficult to read his emotions. But you swear that you can see the tips of his ears turning more and more red with each passing second.

* * *

_“... Khm. Anyway.”_

_The knowing look that Eyes gives him almost makes Kim want to bury his face in his hands out of sheer embarrassment._

* * *

**YOU** – You finally let go of his hand, but you can’t help but grin at him like a love-struck lunatic.

 **KIM KITSURAGI** – He coughs into his fist, flustered by your sappiness.

 **EMPATHY** [Godly: Success] – But he loves it too. He will just never admit it to you or to anyone. Ever.

 **VOLITION** – You feel invincible. There is nothing that the darkness can throw at you that can extinguish the joy of this moment.

With Kim at your side, you can face anything.

**INLAND EMPIRE** – _YOU HAVE DOOMED HIM. YOU HAVE DOOMED YOURSELF_

**KIM KITSURAGI** – The lieutenant regains his composure quickly, but you sense that he’s still feeling giddy about what just happened too.

“Ready to go in, Detective?”

 **ESPRIT DE CORPS** – And with that, you’re back to being Detective.

 **ELECTROCHEMISTRY** – You’d do pretty much _anything_ to hear him call you Harry again. Including...

 **YOU** – You turn to look at the gaping maw of the tunnel once again.

**INLAND EMPIRE** – _DARKNESS. PAIN. DEATH._

**YOU** – “Let’s crack this case wide open, Lieutenant.”

 **KIM KITSURAGI** – The smile on his face matches your own. 

“After you, Detective,” he says, gesturing towards the tunnel.

 **YOU** – And with that, you begin your descent.


	8. The Nightmare: Part II

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: mentions of graphic violence ahead

_"_ _We had a hard time going through the tunnel. Harry was terrified, but he tried his best to hide it from me.”_

* * *

**YOU** – The darkness in the tunnel is much worse than what you expected. It presses down on you like an oppressive, solid mass, exerting an almost unbearable pressure that threatens to crush you to the ground. The twin halogen-white beams of your flashlights manage to keep the shadows at bay, but just barely.

 **CONCEPTUALIZATION** [Challenging: Success] – It's only now that you realize that, just like there are different types of cops, there can be different kinds of darkness.

Different... Darkotypes, as it were.

**DRAMA** – The Enigmatic Dark.

 **ELECTROCHEMISTRY** – The Intoxicated Dark.

 **EMPATHY** – The Melancholic Dark.

 **SHIVERS** – The Twilight Dark.

 **CONCEPTUALIZATION** \- But this. This is---

**INLAND EMPIRE** _– THE DEVOURING DARK_

**COMPOSURE** [Legendary: Failure] – A debilitating shiver runs through your spine, paralyzing your legs and freezing you in place. 

**KIM KITSURAGI** \- Your sudden halt causes the lieutenant to almost walk into you, but he stops himself just in time. 

“Detective?” he asks, his voice filled with concern.

 **ESPRIT DE CORPS** [Challenging: Success] – Lt. Kitsuragi has been watching out for any threats that might emerge from the darkness, but he’s also been keeping a worried eye on you. He’s still willing to turn back, should you choose to do so.

**VOLITION** [Legendary: Success] – No, going back is **_not_** an option. Not when you’ve gone this far. Not when you’re this close to solving this case.

 **HALF-LIGHT** – And the sooner you solve this case, the sooner you and Kim can get the hell out of here.

 **YOU** – “...Sorry about that, Kim. Let’s keep going.”

 **EMPATHY** [Medium: Success] – He’s not fully convinced by your answer, but he chooses to give you the benefit of the doubt. 

**KIM KITSURAGI** – “Alright. We shouldn’t be too far off now.”

 **YOU** – Steeling yourself against the primordial terror that fills your soul, you delve deeper into the tunnel...

* * *

_“It took us a while, but we eventually reached the_ _central chamber.”_

* * *

**YOU** – After trudging through the dark for what feels like an eternity, you suddenly come upon a large, spacious area.

 **PERCEPTION** [Formidable: Success] – Sweeping the beam of your flashlight in front of you, you see bulky shapes that seem to be ancient, rusty pieces of industrial machinery scattered across the room. The air is musty with dust and is permeated with the sharp, tangy smell of oxidized metal.

A faint humming sound seems to be coming from the center of the room...

 **YOU** – “Kim,” you whisper, “what is this place?”

 **KIM KITSURAGI** – The lieutenant says nothing. He warily surveys your surroundings with his flashlight while resting his other hand against the holster of his gun.

 **ESPRIT DE CORPS** [Challenging: Success] – Lt. Kitsuragi is thinking that this would be the perfect place for an ambush.

**INLAND EMPIRE** – _HE IS CORRECT._

* * *

_“They were waiting for us... No,” Kim corrects himself._

_“They were waiting for Harry.”_

* * *

**WOMAN’S VOICE** – “So good of you to finally join us, Señor Du Bois.”

**REACTION SPEED** [Legendary: Success] – Startled, you whip your gun and aim it at the general direction of the voice. 

**KIM KITSURAGI** – The lieutenant quickly follows suit, pointing both his gun and his flashlight into the murky gloom beyond the hulking pieces of machinery.

 **PERCEPTION** (Sight) [Godly: Failure] – Even with your flashlights, you cannot see anyone in the shadows.

 **COMPOSURE** [Godly: Success] – Your heart is thudding in your chest, and your palms are sweating around the handle of your gun.

 **LOGIC** [Medium: Success] – She called you “Señor Du Bois.” Is she Mesque? And how does she know you?

 **YOU** – “Who are you?!” you holler. Your voice echoes through the room.

**WOMAN’S VOICE** – Once again, her voice drawls through the darkness.

“All in due time, Detective. Now drop your guns, or my friends here might accidentally do something ... unfortunate to you and Lt. Kitsuragi.”

 **KIM KITSURAGI** – The lieutenant deliberately does not flinch at the sound of his name.

 **YOU** – You’re about to come up with a witty retort when you see something that makes your blood freeze.

**PERCEPTION (Sight)** [Legendary: Success] – There, hanging in the darkness.

A faint, red line.

 **ENCYCLOPEDIA** [Medium: Success] – A laser. From a---

 **YOU** – Horrified, you trace the laser’s path with your eyes, and it leads you straight to...

A bright, red dot dancing on Kim’s forehead.

**REACTION SPEED** [Challenging: Success] – You drop your gun so fast that it bounces off the ground.

 **WOMAN’S VOICE** – “Very good. Now, if the lieutenant can follow your example, we can start an actual conversation.”

 **KIM KITSURAGI** – He glances at you quickly, and his breath hitches.

 **YOU** – You look down to your chest...

And stare at the bright, red dot aimed straight at your heart.

**KIM KITSURAGI** – “Fuck,” he hisses under his breath.

His gun clatters to the floor.

* * *

_“Their leader made us drop our guns. Then she asked us to go to the center of the room.”_

* * *

**YOU** – The moment you step into the center of the room, a harsh, white light suddenly floods the whole area.

 **PAIN THRESHOLD** [Heroic: Failure] – After spending so long in the dark, the light blinds you temporarily, making you wince and blink rapidly to clear the white dots that dance across your vision.

 **YOU** – When your eyes finally adjust to the brightness, you find yourself standing in a small clearing in the midst of the sea of machinery. And in the middle of that clearing...

 **INTERFACING** \- A humming radiocomputer.

 **YOU** – As your mind scrambles to make sense of what’s happening, a slender figure emerges from the aisle of machines to your right.

**INLAND EMPIRE** – _IT IS HER_

**SCARRED MESQUE WOMAN** – She's wearing a long, red dress of satin-like material, an outfit so incongruous to your surroundings that you cannot help but gape at her. A black trench coat is draped over her shoulders, and you see the tell-tale leather straps of a gun holster on her hip. 

But as strange as her outfit might be, that’s not her most striking feature.

Unabashed, your eyes trace the jagged scar that traverses her face, from the left side of her forehead to the curve of her right cheek. The lower edge of her scar is hidden by her long, auburn hair.

**SHIVERS** [Heroic: Success] - The vision comes unbidden to your mind: Two entire city blocks transformed into a field of blood-red flowers, their petals so crimson that the very ground seems aflame. The girl stands on a muddy furrow at the edge of the field, surveying the other children who toil among the plants. She is among the lucky few who have managed to claw their way up to the top, beyond the seed pods and their sticky sap, beyond the nightly terror of the beatings and the kennels.

In her hands, she carries a hunting rifle with the practiced ease of an experienced killer, and there is nothing but cold contempt in her eyes.

**SCARRED MESQUE WOMAN** \- She grins at you like a devious predator.

“Well-met, Detective. It has been so long since we have last seen each other.”

* * *

_“She knew Harry. But he didn’t seem to remember her at all.”_

* * *

**YOU** – You have absolutely no idea who she is.

 **ELECTROCHEMISTRY** [Legendary: Failure] – And you would _definitely_ have remembered meeting someone as smoking hot as her.

 **LOGIC** [Challenging: Success] – This only means one thing --- She’s someone from your past. Someone from the life that you left behind when you drowned yourself in alcohol and drugs at the Whirling-in-Rags.

 **HALF-LIGHT** – She is dangerous, and eager for a kill or two.

Tread carefully.

* * *

_“Her companions were well-armed, and they had us surrounded.”_

* * *

**YOU** – Suddenly, you become aware of the other figures around the room. There are at least six of them, and they are all clad in bulky, black body armor. Every single one of them is wearing a balaclava mask, and their eyes are hidden behind tactical goggles.

Your eyes linger on the semi-automatic rifles that they have in their hands.

 **PERCEPTION** [Medium: Success] - The scarred woman is flanked by four goons. The remaining two are perched on top of the machines to your left, with their guns aimed at you and Kim. 

**HALF-LIGHT** – This isn’t a gang of thugs.

It's a small army.

* * *

_"It was a trap. Everything had been a trap, and we'd walked right into it."_

* * *

**YOU** – Standing in the face of such firepower, you are excruciatingly aware of how far you are from your discarded pistol.

 **HALF-LIGHT** \- Not that it would have done you any good.

 **LOGIC** [Formidable: Success] – With astounding clarity, you suddenly realize that everything --- all of the evidence, all of the leads, the soil sample at the abandoned hide-out --- was just bait.

Bait that was specifically designed to trap a stubborn, single-minded detective who possessed an unconventional set of skills.

 **YOU** – In the horrified silence that fills your mind, two thoughts bob up to the surface like a pair of drowned, bloated corpses.

_I’m going to die._

_And Kim is going to die here with me._

* * *

_“Harry ...tried to buy us some time by chatting with her.”_

* * *

**SCARRED MESQUE WOMAN** – She frowns at you, as if insulted by your silence.

“Come now, Detective. Even a simple hello would suffice.”

 **SUGGESTION** – Play along for now! Find out what she wants from you.

 **YOU** – “Hello. Erm---”

 **ENCYCLOPEDIA** [Heroic: Failure] – Your mind races to remember her name, but it returns empty-handed.

 **REACTION SPEED** – Come on! Think of a name that suits her!

**YOU** – “---Carmen?”

**KIM KITSURAGI** – The lieutenant stifles a wince. 

**ESPRIT DE CORPS** [Medium: Success] **-** Before you said that, he thought that the both of you might die here. 

Now, he thinks that the both of you will _definitely_ die here.

**ELECTROCHEMISTRY** – To be honest, I’d say she was more of a _Valentina_. 

**CONCEPTUALIZATION** – No, a _Magdalena_!

 **YOU** – Couldn’t you have told me these earlier????

**SCARRED MESQUE WOMAN** – For a long while, the woman just stares at you with a deadpan expression.

 **COMPOSURE** [Godly: Failure] – A trail of cold sweat trickles down your neck. You gulp nervously.

 **CARMEN (?)** – Then, she smiles.

“Why, Detective. For a moment there, I was afraid that you had forgotten about me. I am so, so glad that I was ... _mistaken_.”

 **HALF-LIGHT** [Formidable: Failure] – The honeyed tone in which she says that last word sends a chill down your spine.

* * *

_“She needed Harry for something...” Kim frowns as he struggles to remember the rest of what happened._

* * *

**CARMEN (?)** – “But enough with the pleasantries, Detective. We have more pressing matters to discuss.”

She gestures towards the radiocomputer. “I believe that you have been looking for a missing filament... Am I right?”

 **RHETORIC** [Challenging: Success] – Rhetorical question. She knows exactly what you’ve been looking for. After all, she’s the one who asked one of her goons to steal it from the RCM.

 **LOGIC** [Easy: Success] – You don’t need to be a detective to see where this conversation is heading. Go ahead and state the obvious.

 **YOU** – “And I’m guessing that the filament is in that radiocomputer right there.”

**CARMEN** **(?)** – The corner of her mouth quirks up.

“Indeed. How convenient for you. And how convenient for _me_ , as well.”

 **EMPATHY** [Easy: Success] – She’s looking at you like a cat eyeing some trapped vermin. 

**KIM KITSURAGI** – The lieutenant uneasily looks back and forth between you and the woman.

 **ESPRIT DE CORPS** [Medium: Success] – He has a bad feeling about this, but he’s helpless to do anything... And he absolutely _hates_ that.

 **SUGGESTION** – Keep the conversation going. You’re getting close!

 **YOU** – “Oh?” you say with a nonchalance that you absolutely do not feel. “How so?”

 **CARMEN (?)** – Ignoring your question, she stalks over to the radiocomputer and types in a few commands.

A few seconds later, a familiar voice emerges from the computer’s audio system.

* * *

_Then, Kim remembers._

_“The password,” he says. “She needed the password to the filament.”_

* * *

**EAST-INSULINDIAN REPEATER STATION** – “Password?” The old woman’s voice crackles through the static.

 **YOU** – Your brow furrows as you try to match a name to that voice...

 **ENCYCLOPEDIA** [Medium: Success] – Yvonne. You talked to her when you needed to access those two filaments from the Doomed Commercial Area in Martinaise.

 **CARMEN (?)** – “Hello, Yvonne,” she greets warmly, as if talking to an old friend. “I’m afraid I still don’t have the password. But I think I may have found someone who knows it.”

 **EAST-INSULINDIAN REPEATER STATION** – “Affirmative. Please let me know once you have the password, madam.”

The radiocomputer hums in silent expectation.

 **HALF-LIGHT** [Heroic: Failure] - You suddenly have a _very_ , very bad feeling about this. 

**CARMEN (?)** – “Now," she turns to look at you. "I believe it's your turn, Detective."

 **YOU** \- You blink at her in confusion.

 **KIM KITSURAGI** \- Meanwhile, a horrified look of understanding begins to dawn on the lieutenant's face. 

**YOU** \- "What do you mean? Who has the password?"

The silence that rings out after your question stretches on for an uncomfortably long time.

**CARMEN (?)** \- "Why," she finally says, looking at you with feigned surprise. " _You_ do, Señor Du Bois.”

* * *

_“She thought that Harry knew the password to the filament. But she didn’t seem to know that he lost his memory in Martinaise.”_

* * *

**YOU** – For a moment, your mind goes blank.

Then...

**COMPOSURE** [Godly: Failure] – **_WHAT???!!!_**

**YOU** \- Your mind scrambles to make sense of what Carmen (?) just said.

 **PERCEPTION** **(Hearing)** [Godly: Failure] – Maybe you misheard---

 **DRAMA** [Godly: Failure] – It's a nefarious lie---

 **ENCYCLOPEDIA** [Godly: Failure] - Password? What's a ... _password_?

**CARMEN (?)** \- Seemingly oblivious to your distress, the woman taps her foot impatiently. 

"Come now, Detective. You wouldn't want to keep dear Yvonne waiting now, would you?"

**RHETORIC** [Formidable: Success] - What she means is, "You don't want to keep **_me_** waiting."

**YOU** \- But... But I _don't know_ the password!!!

 **LOGIC** [Formidable: Success] - But you **_did_**. Before Martinaise. Before the bender at the Whirling-in-Rags. Before you tried to destroy the animal that you had become. 

The password that you are frantically trying to remember vanished into oblivion the moment you woke up to the sound of Kim's Kineema. 

**YOU** \- You shoot a nervous glance at Kim.

 **KIM KITSURAGI** \- The lieutenant's face belies nothing, but his shoulders are tense. 

**ESPRIT DE CORPS** [Medium: Success] - Even before Carmen's (?) revelation, Lt. Kitsuragi had already guessed that you were the one who knew the password. He also realized that you must have forgotten it during your amnesiac episode at Martinaise.

Now, he's desperately trying to come up with a plan to get the both of you out of here without getting riddled by bullets. 

**SUGGESTION** \- At least _try_ to remember the password! Buy some time!

* * *

_"Harry got her to tell us why she stole the filament, and what she was going to use it for." Kim shudders at the memory._

_“It was horrible.”_

* * *

**COMPOSURE** [Legendary: Success] - Gulping, you try to stop your voice from trembling too much.

 **YOU** \- "Before I give you the password, tell me: Why did you steal the filament?"

**CARMEN (?)** \- She tilts her head and narrows her eyes at you, as if deliberating something...

**INLAND EMPIRE** \- _YOUR BLOOD SPLATTERED AGAINST THE MACHINES BEHIND YOU. YOUR BRAINS LEAKING FROM YOUR SKULL LIKE PULP FROM A CRUSHED FRUIT._

**SUGGESTION** [Legendary: Success] - In her mind, you're already a dead man, so she sees no harm in answering your questions.

She decides to play along with your game for just a bit longer. 

**CARMEN (?)** \- "Why, I did it for the only reason that anyone does anything, Detective." 

**PERCEPTION** [Formidable: Success] - Her tone is wistful, and her gaze becomes distant, as if she were reliving a luminous memory. 

**SHIVERS** [Legendary: Success] - As the steel-eyed girl continues her vigil, a tall figure walks over to her and stands by her side. She does her best to appear unfazed and collected, but her heart is racing a mile a minute. From the corner of her eye, she sees the glint of the golden chain that he wears around his neck and the thick, brass rings around his fingers. She takes a deep breath to inhale the musky scent of his cologne. 

They stand there together, watching over their field of fortune as the sun bleeds out on the horizon.

**CARMEN (?) -** Her gaze focuses on you once again. "As you well know, our farm runs on two things --- children, and pigs."

 **ESPRIT DE CORPS** [Medium: Success] - Cops. She means cops. 

**ENCYCLOPEDIA** [Legendary: Failure] - This is the first time that you're hearing any of this. 

**CARMEN (?) -** "Lately, we've been worried that some of the pigs in our employment have been... _compromised_. Now, this filament," she points to the radiocomputer, "will help us cull those naughty pigs from our herd."

 **ESPRIT DE CORPS** [Heroic: Success] - Translation: She needs the filament so that her cartel can weed out and murder all of the RCM agents hiding within their ranks.

It'll be a bloodbath. 

**YOU** \- Your eyes widen in horror. 

**KIM KITSURAGI** \- The lieutenant blanches at the woman's words.

 **ESPRIT DE CORPS** [Formidable: Success] - Lt. Kitsuragi is thanking Dolores Dei that you have forgotten the password, because if you hadn’t...

The alternative is too horrifying for him to imagine.

 **ENCYCLOPEDIA** [Medium: Success] -The cartels are notorious for wiping out entire families just because of the sins of one member. They show no mercy, even towards women or children.

 **HALF-LIGHT** \- But if you don't give her the password, you and Kim will die under a hail of bullets. You will be so mangled that your squad will have trouble gathering enough pieces of you for a funeral.

 **LOGIC** \- Even if you give her the password, she will kill you both anyway.

* * *

_"We were stuck in a double-bind, and I couldn't see any way out of it."_

* * *

**YOU** \- There... there has to be a way out of this!!!

**CARMEN (?)** \- "I hope that satisfies your curiousity, Detective. Now..." 

In one languid move, she reaches towards her hip and pulls out a compact handgun. 

**COMPOSURE** [Medium: Failure] - Really??? _Another_ gun???

 **HALF-LIGHT** \- There are now nine guns in this room. Two of them are lying uselessly on the ground several feet behind you, and the other seven are in the hands of the cold-blooded cop murderers who surround you.

**CARMEN (?) -** "The password, please."

 **EMPATHY** [Medium: Success] - It was not a request. 

**COMPOSURE** [Legendary: Success] - A tremor of fear runs travels through your body, but you somehow manage to stand your ground.

 **KIM KITSURAGI** \- To your right, the lieutenant stiffens and glances rapidly between you and the woman's gun. 

**ESPRIT DE CORPS** [Heroic: Success] - He'll try to take the bullet for you, if it comes to that.

 **AUTHORITY** \- You must not let that happen! Make him stand down!

**YOU** \- You lock eyes with Kim and shake your head, desperately hoping that he would get the message. 

**KIM KITSURAGI** \- He looks away, but his mouth settles into a thin, grim line. 

**EMPATHY** [Heroic: Success] - ...Which means that he's going to be a self-sacrificial bastard about this.

 **HALF-LIGHT** \- This is really romantic, but can you please keep your eyes on the gun?!

* * *

_"Then, Harry did something very, very stupid."_

* * *

**SUGGESTION** \- What if... you just told her the truth?

**YOU** \- ...What?

**SUGGESTION -** You've already exhausted her patience, and there's no way that you'll remember that password in time. 

So just. Tell her the truth.

 **LOGIC** [Formidable: Failure] - You cannot think of a better idea. Or a worse one, for that matter.

**YOU** \- Clearing your throat, you look up at the woman guiltily.

"Actually, I uh." 

**CARMEN (?) -** She raises a finely arched eyebrow at you. 

**KIM KITSURAGI** \- The lieutenant looks at you with trepidation.

 **ESPRIT DE CORPS** [Medium: Success] - He doesn't believe in the supernatural, but right now, he's doing his best to telepathically transmit a message to you. 

Namely, _"DON'T SAY ANYTHING STUPID."_

**YOU** \- You gulp.

"I've ... forgotten the password."

**KIM KITSURAGI** \- He gapes at you incredulously, as if he cannot believe what you just said.

 **ESPRIT DE CORPS** [Medium: Success] - The look on his face definitely says, _"THAT WAS SO STUPID."_

**COMPOSURE** [Legendary: Failure] - Kim's disappointment makes you want to shrivel up into a pathetic ball of shame and self-loathing.

**CARMEN (?)** \- For a moment, she just stares at you with an unreadable expression on her face. She's still holding onto her gun, but she's not pointing it at anyone right now.

 **EMPATHY** [Legendary: Failure] - For all you know, she's probably thinking of shooting your brains out.

 **HALF-LIGHT** \- You would most likely be correct.

**CARMEN (?)** \- Suddenly, the woman's face collapses into a mask of sheer worry and absolute concern. 

"Oh, Detective," she says in a voice filled with anxiety and distress. "Why didn't you tell me earlier?"

**YOU** \- You're dumbfounded.

 **EMPATHY** \- You didn't think she was capable of expressing actual human emotions.

 **CONCEPTUALIZATION** [Medium: Success] - It's like getting a hug from a knife, or seeing a gun cry.

 **KIM KITSURAGI** \- The lieutenant looks just as stupefied as you are. 

**CARMEN (?) -** "I heard about what happened in Martinaise, but I simply couldn't bring myself to believe that the great Detective Du Bois could have lost _all_ of his memories."

**PERCEPTION (Sight)** [Easy: Success] - Is she... is she _tearing up_???

 **DRAMA** [Heroic: Failure] - I cannot discern whether she is genuinely concerned about our well-being or just mocking us, sire.

* * *

_"_ _She said something about helping Harry remember the password---"_

* * *

**CARMEN (?)** \- She sniffles a bit, and wipes a tear from her eye. "Oh, Detective. This must have been _so_ difficult for you. If I only knew that you'd forgotten the password, I would have tried to help you sooner..."

* * *

_Then, Kim stops._

_His breath hitches in his throat._

* * *

**YOU** \- Wait, what?

 **PERCEPTION (Hearing)** [Easy: Failure] - Did she just say that she was going to _help_ you?

* * *

_"Kim?" Eyes asks quietly."Kim, what happened next?"_

* * *

**CARMEN (?)** \- After one last sniffle, she looks straight at you...

And grins.

* * *

_A chill runs through Kim's spine._

* * *

**YOU** \- A cold fist seizes your heart.

* * *

_Absently, Kim places a hand on his stomach._

_He closes his eyes._

* * *

**CARMEN (?) -** "I have the _perfect_ way of helping you remember the password."

Before you can do anything, she cocks her gun ---

* * *

_"... Then everything went to hell," he whispers._

* * *

\--- And shoots Kim in the stomach.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The information about the drug cartels was based on a line from the "Welcome to Revachol!" devblog (2019) from ZA/UM (https://zaumstudio.com/2019/10/08/welcome-to-revachol/)
> 
> "In Villalobos an entire street is walled off and turned into a poppy field by a deified gangster called The Mazda, while his mortal enemy La Puta Madre exclusively employs former narcotics officers to farm his own fields."


	9. The Nightmare: Part III

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Before we begin, I highly recommend that you read my previous fic, Rooftop Retrograde, so that one of Harry's lines in this chapter can have its full effect.
> 
> Now, on with the show.

Time stops.

The voices vanish. Horrified silence takes their place.

Slowly, your eyes trace the terrifying path between the smoking barrel of the gun… 

… to Kim. 

He blinks. 

He looks down… 

... and stares in wonder at the bright, crimson stain that’s blooming on his undershirt.

* * *

_“I was just as surprised as Harry,” Kim admits quietly._

* * *

He looks up.

* * *

_“But...”_

* * *

Your eyes meet. 

* * *

_“...I was glad that it was me, not him.”_

* * *

He falls.

You rush forward to catch him---

And the voices come flooding back.

**PERCEPTION** [Godly: Failure] - **_NO_ **

**HALF-LIGHT** [Godly: Failure] - **_NO_ **

**LOGIC** [Godly: Failure] - **_NO_ **

**EMPATHY** [Godly: Failure] - **_NO_ **

**KIM KITSURAGI** \- His glasses dig into your chest as he sags against you.

**PAIN THRESHOLD** [Godly: Failure] - **_NO_ **

**COMPOSURE** [Godly: Failure] - **_NO_ **

**RHETORIC** [Godly: Failure] - **_NO_ **

**ESPRIT DE CORPS** [Godly: Failure] - **_NO_ **

**YOU** \- **_KIM_ **\--- 

* * *

_Kim stays silent as everything comes back to him..._

_The fear._

* * *

**KIM KITSURAGI** \- “Harry...?” He looks up at you dazedly. Blood flecks his lips. His glasses are askew.

 **YOU** \- "KIM!!! Oh god oh god, Kim--" you blubber...

 **HAND-EYE COORDINATION** [Godly: Failure] - You try to fix his glasses, but your hands are trembling too badly. 

**PHYSICAL INSTRUMENT** \- Cradling him against your body, you try to lower him to the ground as gently as you possibly can---

 **COMPOSURE** [Godly: Failure] - You're crying. Your whole body’s trembling. You're having a hard time breathing **KEEP IT TOGETHER, FUCKER, KIM'S** \---!!!

* * *

_The confusion._

* * *

**KIM KITSURAGI** \- He tries to say something else, but it's cruelly aborted by a wracking cough that sends blood gushing down his chin.

 **ENCYCLOPEDIA** [Formidable: Success] - Hemoptysis from internal trauma. His breathing is rapid and shallow, his skin is pale, his eyes are dilated. Early signs of shock---

 **YOU** \- **I DON'T NEED TO KNOW THAT JUST TELL ME HOW TO FIX HIM!!!!!!!!!!**

 **LOGIC** [Heroic: Success] - Use your jacket to staunch the wound!!!

 **HAND-EYE COORDINATION** [Heroic: Success] - You quickly take off your jacket and press firmly it against Kim's abdomen---

* * *

_But most of all..._

_The pain._

* * *

**KIM KITSURAGI** \- A jolt of agony runs through his body, making you wince in horror and self-loathing. 

**COMPOSURE** \- Any other man would have been screaming, or at least moaning, from the pain. But not a single sound escapes the lieutenant’s lips.

 **PERCEPTION (Sight)** \- His forehead glistens with sweat, and the muscles of his jaw are taut because of the sheer effort he's exerting---

 **PAIN THRESHOLD** \- To hide how much he’s suffering from you.

* * *

_Kim takes a deep, shuddering breath._

* * *

**YOU** \- " _I'm sorry,_ _I'm so, so sorry---_ " you sob.

 **KIM KITSURAGI** \- He puts his hand on top of yours and runs a thumb across your knuckles, as if absolving you from his pain.

* * *

_When Kim finally exhales, he looks at his hand, as if expecting it to be covered in---_

* * *

**PERCEPTION** (Sight) [Easy: Success] - Suddenly, you become deathly aware of the growing pool of blood that's slowly spreading beneath Kim's body.

 **YOU** \- The realization punches you in the gut.

 **LOGIC** [Heroic: Success] - The bullet. 

It went _through_. 

**HALF-LIGHT** \- **GET HIM OUT OF HERE**

* * *

_Slowly, Kim lowers his hand._

_"The woman... She was enjoying herself," he continues._

* * *

**CARMEN (?)** \- She watches you with undisguised glee. 

"See, Detective? A simple solution to a complex problem."

**ENCYCLOPEDIA** [Legendary: Success] - She shot Kim in the abdomen because she wanted to inflict as much suffering as possible without killing him outright. 

**EMPATHY** [Medium: Success] - Ever since you stepped into the room, she has been craving for a chance to hurt, to maim, to torment. Now, she is feeding off your pain and anguish like a poppy flower blooming under a bleeding sun. 

**INLAND EMPIRE** \- **_SHE IS A MONSTER_**

* * *

_"She gave Harry an ultimatum."_

* * *

**CARMEN (?)** \- "It's very simple, Detective. You can remember the password and give it to us, and we will let you go.”

 **DRAMA** [Formidable: Success] – _A filthy lie!_

 **CARMEN (?)** – “Or you can _not_ remember it, then I'll shoot you in both knees so that you can watch Lt. Kitsuragi die a slow and painful death.”

**DRAMA** [Formidable: Success] - ... The truth. Sire.

**YOU** \- But... _**BUT I DON'T KNOW THE PASSWORD**_!!!!!

 **HALF-LIGHT** [Impossible: Failure] - **THEN YOU'RE GOING TO DIE HERE, AND KIM'S GOING TO DIE WITH YOU**

* * *

_"Harry was...” Kim swallows the lump that suddenly forms in his throat. “_ _Harry was doing his best to stop the bleeding.”_

* * *

**PERCEPTION (Sight)** [Medium: Success] - He’s bleeding out from the back! You have to staunch it there too!

 **HAND-EYE COORDINATION** [Challenging: Success] **-** Despite the violent trembling of your hands, you manage to wrap your jacket around Kim’s midriff and tie a knot---

 **KIM KITSURAGI** \- He shudders and coughs up more blood.

 **YOU** \- “No no no no no no no, _”_ you moan, your voice hoarse with panic. “Kim, _Kim_ , stay with me---”

 **HALF-LIGHT** \- **_GET HIM OUT OF HERE_** **!!!!**

 **LOGIC** [Godly: Failure] - But… but _how_????

* * *

_"He was so, so distraught..."_ _Kim's voice drops to a whisper._

_"I couldn't bear to see him like that."_

* * *

**KIM KITSURAGI** \- Suddenly, he reaches up and tightly clasps your hand.

 **PERCEPTION** [Trivial: Success] - His glove is slick with blood. His breathing is pained and uneven. His eyes are desperately seeking yours behind his skewed glasses.

 **HAND-EYE COORDINATION** [Medium: Success] - As you reach down to straighten his glasses, your hand brushes against his cheek--

 **PERCEPTION (Touch)** [Trivial: Success] - His skin is cold and clammy.

 **EMPATHY** [Medium: Success] - He's in so, so much pain, but it hurts him more to see you like this. To see you so... broken.

So defeated. 

* * *

_"I couldn't talk anymore, but I really, really wanted to tell him---"_

* * *

**ESPRIT DE CORPS** [Godlike: Success] - If he could talk, the lieutenant would probably tell you to---

* * *

_Suddenly, Kim's lips quirk up into a smile that is both_ _devastatingly sad and completely unrepentant._

_" 'Pull your shit together, Detective,' " he whispers._

* * *

**VOLITION** [Godlike: Success] - A desperate, scorching resolve suddenly washes over you, sweeping away all of your confusion, panic, and despair and leaving behind only one, blazing thought:

**YOU** \- **I need to save him**.

**Even if it kills me.**

* * *

_The smile stays on Kim's face for a long while._

_"Harry didn't give up," he finally says._

* * *

**YOU** \- “Kim," you say, with a voice that dances on the very edge of trembling. 

**KIM KITSURAGI** \- He looks up at you with bleary eyes, as if he's using every last bit of his strength to stay conscious. 

**COMPOSURE** [Heroic: Success] - You grip his hand firmly and look straight into his eyes. 

**YOU** \- "I’m… I’m going to get us out of here," you tell him. "I promise. So---”

 **PAIN THRESHOLD** [Legendary: Failure] - Your heart clenches painfully in anticipation of what's to come.

* * *

_"Even when it seemed hopeless..."_

* * *

**YOU** \- “So… I need you to hang in there for just a bit longer, okay? Hang in there for me---”

* * *

_"Even when it seemed like there was no way out..."_

* * *

**COMPOSURE** [Legendary: Failure] - Your voice finally breaks. Your hand begins to tremble again.

 **YOU** \- "... _Please,_ " you whisper to him desperately.

* * *

_"Harry never gave up."_

* * *

**KIM KITSURAGI** \- For a moment, the lieutenant just looks up at you with wide, glistening eyes.

* * *

_"So..."_

* * *

**KIM KITSURAGI** \- Then, he squeezes your hand...

* * *

" _I didn't give up too."_

* * *

**KIM KITSURAGI - ...** And gives you a small, heartbreaking nod.

**ESPRIT DE CORPS** [Medium: Success] - He trusts you.

He _truly_ trusts you.

* * *

_Suddenly, Kim's vision becomes unbearably blurry._

_He blinks._

_When he reaches up to wipe his eyes, Isaac Legrand_ _smiles softly and looks away._

* * *

**PAIN THRESHOLD** [Legendary: Success] - Letting go of Kim’s hand feels so **_wrong_ **that you it almost breaks you. 

**VOLITION** [Legendary: Success] - But you manage to do it. With gritted teeth. And a clenched fist.

 **YOU** \- You stand up, staggering unsteadily as your legs try to remember what it's like to support your body again. 

**ENCYCLOPEDIA** [Legendary: Failure] - You still don't know the password.

 **HALF-LIGHT** [Legendary: Failure] - You still don't know how to get past these goons and their guns.

 **VOLITION** [Legendary: Success] - But you do know what you are willing to do to get Kim out of here.

**YOU** \- Anything.

**_...Everything._ **

* * *

_As he regains his composure, Kim tries to recover his memories from where he left off..._

* * *

**PAIN THRESHOLD** [Legendary: Success] - Every step that you take away from Kim stabs you in the heart, but you grit your teeth and keep going.

 **EMPATHY** [Challenging: Success] - You can sense the the scarred woman's anticipation growing more and more as you get closer and closer to your target.

**YOU** \- Finally, after what feels like both an eternity and a second, you find yourself standing in front of the only thing that can possibly save you and Kim...

* * *

_"The radiocomputer," Kim recalls. "Harry walked over to the radiocomputer."_

* * *

**INTERFACING** [Medium: Success] - The glowing screen of the terminal is empty, save for the small, blinking bar at the top-left corner. Just like the terminal in the Doomed Commercial District, this one has a printer attached to it. 

**LOGIC** [Legendary: Failure] - What are you going to do? You still don't know the password.

 **YOU** \- I... I don't know. 

**ESPRIT DE CORPS** \- And even if you did, would you be willing to sign the death warrant for the agents whose names are in that filament?

 **YOU** \- ... No. No, I'm not.

I want to save everyone.

I **_have_** to save everyone. 

**INLAND EMPIRE** [Impossible: Failure] - How can you save everyone if you can't even save yourself?

**VOLITION** [Legendary: Success] - You steel yourself against the tidal wave of despair and self-doubt that sweeps over you and threatens to pull you under. 

**YOU** \- I... I don't know.

 ** _But I have to try_**. 

* * *

_"Then, he did what he did best."_

* * *

**COMPOSURE** [Godly: Success] - You take a deep, shuddering breath and silently pray to any and all Innocences who might be listening.

 **INLAND EMPIRE** \- Including...?

**YOU** \- YES, including _her_. Now, **SHUT UP**.

"Yvonne," you say carefully. "It's me, Detective Du Bois."

**EAST-INSULINDIAN REPEATER STATION** \- "Good day, Detective. How may I help you?"

**RHETORIC** [Godly: Success] - A single question propels itself out of your mouth.

It is the same question that you have asked Yvonne every time that you did not know the password to the two filaments from the Doomed Commercial Area. 

In both of those instances, the question led to nothing.

Now, it is your only hope.

* * *

_"He asked the operator..."_

* * *

**YOU** \- "Yvonne---"

* * *

_"...a really, really..."_

* * *

**YOU** \- "--- is the password---"

* * *

_"...stupid question."_

* * *

**YOU** \- "---my birthday?"

**PERCEPTION (Sight)** [Heroic: Success] - From the corner of your eye, you see the scarred woman's jaw drop in disbelief. 

**EMPATHY** [Legendary: Success] - She thought that you were a fool.

Now, she thinks that you _definitely_ are a fool. 

* * *

_Kim falls silent again._

* * *

**COMPOSURE** [Legendary: Failure] - Cold sweat drenches your brow, and you desperately try to stifle a full-body shiver as you anxiously wait for Yvonne's response...

 **HALF-LIGHT** [Legendary: Failure] - _You messed up you messed up you messed up you messed up now_ **_you and Kim are going to die_**

 **LOGIC** [Legendary: Failure] - There is absolutely **_no chance_** that the password could be your birthday. What possessed you to ask that???

**YOU** \- It ... It was the only question I could think of!!!!

**INTERFACING** [Medium: Success] - The radiocomputer hums almost thoughtfully, as if mulling over your question...

* * *

_Then..._

* * *

**EAST-INSULINDIAN REPEATER STATION** \- "Affirmative, Detective Du Bois."

* * *

_Kim smiles._

* * *

**YOU** \- You stare at the screen.

Then...

**COMPOSURE** [Godly: Failure] – **_WHAT???!!!_**

**YOU** \- Your mind scrambles to make sense of what Yvonne just said.

**LOGIC** [Legendary: Failure] - **_What kind of idiot detective uses his own birthday as the password to for a filament that contains highly classified information?????????_**

 **YOU** \- It wasn't me!!! 

... Well, it _was_ me, but!!! It was the _past_ me!!!

 **HALF-LIGHT** [Godlike: Success] - ** _JUST SHUT UP AND TELL HER YOUR BIRTHDAY_**

* * *

_"I couldn't believe it myself..."_

* * *

**YOU** \- You open your mouth ---

And freeze.

**LOGIC** \- ... Wait. You **_do_** remember your birthday. Right.

... **_Right_**?

**YOU** \- "022307," you blurt out.

 **ENCYCLOPEDIA** [Godlike: Success] - You're welcome.

* * *

_"... But it worked."_

* * *

**EAST-INSULINDIAN REPEATER STATION** \- "Very good, Detective. I've unlocked the filament. After ending the call, you may press the PRINT button to access the data."

**EMPATHY** \- Relief surges over you so powerfully that your knees threaten to buckle beneath you. 

**YOU** \- I... I did it. 

**_I DID IT_**!!!!!

" _Kim_!!! I---"

You turn back, expecting to see Kim with a grin on his face and his hand raised for a triumphant Ace's High---

**PERCEPTION** (Sight) [Trivial: Success] - Then, you see him. 

Lying so, so still.

In a pool of his own blood.

* * *

_"It worked," Kim repeats, in a more subdued voice._

* * *

**YOU** \- "... Kim?"

**KIM KITSURAGI** \- His head is turned away from you. 

His hand is lying on top of your jacket.

**PERCEPTION** [Godly: Failure] - **_NO_ **

**PAIN THRESHOLD** [Godly: Failure] - **_NO_ **

**LOGIC** [Godly: Failure] - **_NO_ **

**EMPATHY** [Godly: Failure] - **_NO_**

**YOU** \- Before you can rush to Kim's side, cold steel presses against your temple.

 **HALF-LIGHT** \- _Don't. Move. A. Muscle._

**CARMEN (?)** \- "Congratulations, Detective! I knew you would pull through for me," she says with a happy, lilting voice. 

Keeping her gun jammed against your skull, she presses the PRINT button on the terminal.

**PERCEPTION (Hearing)** [Easy: Success] - The printer whirrs to life and churns out a piece of paper...

And another...

And another...

And another.

**YOU** \- Tearing your eyes away from Kim, you gaze in horror at the four pages of names that have emerged from the printer.

**ESPRIT DE CORPS** [Impossible: Failure] - You have doomed them.

_You have doomed them all._

**CARMEN (?)** \- With her free hand, she gestures to one of her goons.

**MASKED GOON** \- He goes to the terminal, picks up the printed pages, and examines them closely... 

Then, he looks at her and nods.

**CARMEN (?)** \- The look on her face is a mix of giddy joy and voracious malice. 

"Thank you, Detective. We would never have done this without you. Now..."

**PERCEPTION (Hearing)** [Trivial: Success] - The cock of her gun is deafeningly loud beside your ear.

**CARMEN (?)** \- "...Say hello to Lt. Kitsuragi for us, will you?"

**EMPATHY** \- The thought of being with Kim again dispels every shred of fear in your heart. 

**HALF-LIGHT** \- A small mercy from an unlikely source.

**YOU** \- You close your eyes and wait for the inevitable---

**PERCEPTION (Hearing)** \- A loud bang cracks through the air---

**INLAND EMPIRE** \- _DEATH._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The nightmare was supposed to be only in three parts, but Kim and Harry kept on doing unexpected things while I was writing, thereby prolonging our pain (and theirs).
> 
> Last part of the nightmare coming up. 
> 
> (P.S. Harry's birthday is inspired by that of his namesake, W.E.B. Du Bois.)


	10. The Event Horizon

When Kim first woke up in the airfield, he immediately felt that it was a good place. It was vast, beautiful, and serene. It asked nothing of him, except that he tread on it lightly, and that he let his heart rest in the simple solace that it offered in abundance. 

But now, after recalling everything that had happened, Kim cannot help but see this perfect world for what it really is.

A comforting illusion.

A beautiful lie.

Above him, a flock of white clouds continues its endless trek across the bright, blue sky. Around him, a playful breeze dances through the green, swaying ocean of grass. In front of him, Eyes sits on the swing with an air of quiet patience and genuine sympathy.

But Kim sees none of these.

Instead, he sees a lone radiocomputer amidst a forest of ancient machinery. He sees a scarred woman in red and masked goons with guns in their hands. He sees Harry’s panicked, weeping face.

He sees blood on his abdomen, and blood on his hands.

As he contemplates these two disparate realities, Kim doesn’t know whether he prefers the beautiful lie or the horrifying truth.

“Kim.”

Eyes’ voice shakes Kim out of his thoughts. When he looks up, the other man is looking at him pensively.

“Is that all you remember?" Eyes asks. "Or is there something more?"

Prompted by Eyes' question, Kim tries to concentrate on his memories again. In his mind, he sees Harry walk towards the radiocomputer. He hears Harry ask Yvonne about the password. He remembers feeling a paradoxical mix of incredulity, pride, and despair when Harry got the password right—

_A masked man. Harry backed against a machine. The **gun**_

Kim blinks.

"There's more," he says, "But..."

When Kim tries to access the next memories, his mind runs into a seemingly impenetrable wall of darkness. 

He frowns. "I... can't get through to them."

Sensing his distress, Eyes gives him a sympathetic look. "Looks like you're about to hit the event horizon," he says.

Kim's frown turns quizzical. "The what?" 

"The event horizon," Eyes repeats. "The point of no return. It's the point where you passed over from there," Eyes points to the sky, "to here," he says, pointing to the ground. 

It takes Kim a few seconds to understand what Eyes just said. 

“You mean, from where Harry is—” A sharp pang stabs through Kim’s heart at the reminder of the infinite abyss between him and his partner, “—to where we are now?”

Eyes nods.

Kim contemplates that revelation for a moment.

"So what you're saying," he finally says, "is that it gets harder for me to remember the things that happened _immediately_ before I found myself here?"

"That’s right,” Eyes affirms. Then, he taps his chin thoughtfully. “It's sort of like a...psychological self-defense mechanism. Your mind's trying to protect you from the really traumatic memories."

Nauseating dread roils through Kim's gut.

_The crack of a gun_

_"KIM!!!"_

_Blood in his mouth, blood on his hands, blood on the floor—_

_What could be more traumatic than that?_ Kim thinks to himself.

He realizes that he doesn’t really want to find out. 

"You don't have to force yourself to remember, Kim," Eyes says gently, as if reading his mind. “You’ve already done a pretty good job of remembering most of what happened.”

Kim wants to agree with him. He will never admit it out loud, but the mere act of recalling all of those memories had been both excruciating and demoralizing. Not only did he have to go through the pain and horror again, but he also has nothing to show for it.

He still doesn't know how to get out of here.

He still doesn't know how to get back to Harry. 

But then, just as Kim's about to step away from the impenetrable, dark wall in his mind, a stray memory seeps through—

_"Kim," Harry whispers hoarsely. "We're—we're almost there."_

Kim forgets to breathe.

_"Jean and the others—they'll... they'll be waiting for us," Harry continues, his voice breaking apart..._

Suddenly, the memories stop.

In the heavy silence that ensues in his mind, Kim realizes that he's already made a decision.

He _has_ to remember everything else that happened. 

Because he'd be damned if he was going to let Harry carry all of that by himself.

“Eyes," Kim says, as an idea forms in his mind. "I’m going to try something that might help me remember what happened next."

Instead of looking surprised, Eyes just gives him a sad, fond smile, as if he had already made peace with the fact that Kim would eventually choose to delve deeper into the darkness.

"Go ahead, Speedfreak. I'm not gonna stop you."

Kim gives him a small, grateful smile. 

Then, he hesitates.

"Just... don't laugh at me, okay?" he mutters self-consciously.

Eyes arcs an eyebrow at him, but solemnly signs a cross over his lungs. 

"Cross my lungs and hope to be reborn as a cockroach," Eyes says with a mischievous wink.

Kim rolls his eyes at his dead partner, but silently thanks him anyway.

_Okay_ , Kim thinks to himself as he takes a deep, steadying breath. _Let's see if this works._

Without further ado, Kim executes the first step of his plan by lying down on the ground.

He can _feel_ the puzzled look that Eyes gives him, and the tips of his ears burn with embarrassment.

_Come on, Kim. Focus._

Kim frowns up at the sky as he tries to remember the important details.

_Harry's jacket underneath his palm..._

He places his right hand on his stomach—

_The floor is cold beneath his cheek..._

—and turns his head to the left.

Then, Kim closes his eyes...

And surrenders himself to the memory.

* * *

_BANG!_

Kim wakes up with a start.

The floor is cold beneath his cheek. 

Thick, salty liquid fills his mouth. 

Every breath is agony.

He blinks blearily. He hears other sounds—frantic shouts, and loud, stuttering cracks—but they're muffled, as if his ears were stuffed with cotton...

Wincing, he turns his head...

And sees a dead body.

Kim stares.

From this angle, the woman looks like a jilted lover reaching out to him. Her one remaining eye stares out blindly from what remains of her face, which is frozen in a perpetual mask of shock and disbelief. 

When Kim finally manages to look away from the pulpy wreckage of her skull, his eyes land on the handgun lying between him and her outstretched arm—

_Harry_ , he remembers, and for a moment, his fear and panic dispel the haze of pain clouding his senses. _Where's Harry?_

Kim tries to move—

A fresh torrent of pain explodes from his abdomen and threatens to pull him back into unconsciousness.

He grits his teeth and rides out the agony, desperately stifling the ragged cry that almost bursts from his mouth.

Then, as the wave dies down, he sees movement from the corner of his eye.

With his vision still swimming, Kim musters just enough strength to lift his head and see what's happening...

And that's when he sees Harry.

He's sitting on the ground just a few feet away from Kim. His back's pressed against a rusty machine....

And he looks absolutely terrified. 

One of the masked mercenaries is standing in front of Harry. He's holding a rifle in one hand, and a sheaf of papers in the other.

He seems to be saying something to Harry, and Kim strains to make out the words...

"... didn't expect it to be this easy, though," the goon says.

"You... You killed them all..." Harry stammers. 

"Nah," the goon waves the sheaf of papers in the air in a dismissive gesture. "Eduardo killed most of them before they got him. I just killed the bitch and one other dude. You're welcome, by the way."

Harry opts to stay silent. His eyes are nailed on the goon's gun.

"Well," the goon sighs. "Got what we came here for, so..."

Kim realizes what's about to happen.

_No_

In that split-second, he looks to his side—

The goon cocks his rifle.

_No no no no_

Kim reaches towards the discarded handgun—

_Too far, too far_

He crawls towards it, and the pain so intense that he almost blacks out again—

The goon aims at Harry.

_No!!!!_

Kim grabs the gun, but his hand is so slick with blood that he almost drops it—

He aims—

_Please please please_

"Regards from the Mazda, Detective."

" **NO**!!!!" Kim shouts.

He fires.

Impossibly, the back of the goon's head erupts in a spray of blood and gore.

The gun tumbles from Kim's numb fingers.

He sees Harry staring wide-eyed and slack-jawed at the twitching body of the dead mercenary.

Darkness crawls along the edges of Kim's vision.

Harry looks at him—

Their eyes meet.

Then, Harry's scrambling frantically across the floor...

But Kim passes out before Harry can reach him.

* * *

When Kim wakes up again, he finds himself hunched over a broad, warm surface. The world bobs gently around him, and he can see nothing but deep, impenetrable darkness.

"Kim? Kim, are... are you awake?"

Kim blinks sleepily. 

"...Harry?" 

Somewhere beside his ear, Harry lets out a frantic burst of relieved laughter. 

"Yeah, yeah, it's me, buddy. It's me. I'm... I'm glad that you're awake..."

Kim frowns. Was he... being carried on Harry's back?

"You got me worried for a while there," Harry continues. "I... I thought you..."

Harry's voice suddenly cuts off into a ragged sob. 

In some far-away corner of Kim's mind, he knows that he should be comforting Harry, that he should be telling Harry that everything's going to be alright, that they'll both be okay...

But right now, Kim just wants to...rest.

Kim closes his eyes again and presses his cheek against Harry's shoulder.

He feels cold.

And Harry... 

Harry's always been warm.

So, so warm.

"... tired..." he whispers.

He hears Harry's breath stutter. 

"Kim," Harry whispers hoarsely. "We're—we're almost there."

Kim tries to stay awake, but it's getting harder and harder to do so with each passing second.

"Jean and the others—they'll... they'll be waiting for us," Harry continues, his voice breaking apart...

Distantly, Kim realizes that the pain's gone.

He feels light.

As if he could float away any moment now.

Suddenly, Kim remembers that he needs to tell Harry something.

Something important.

Something that he should have told Harry much, much earlier.

"Wanted ... to tell you..." he manages to say, even as the world grows darker and colder around him.

"I'm... I'm listening, Kim," Harry says. "I'm listening."

With the last remaining bit of his strength, Kim Kitsuragi whispers two words into Harry Du Bois' ear. 

He doesn't see the devastated expression on Harry's face. 

He doesn't hear Harry's broken, sobbing reply. 

He doesn't hear Harry calling his name.

Again.

And again.

And again.

The last thing that Kim remembers is a crazed, monstrous roar of despair—

* * *

—Then he wakes up.

In a vast sea of green. 

Under a bright, baby-blue sky.

And Harry...

Harry's not there anymore.

Kim stares up at the sky for a long, long while.

He whispers those two words again to himself.

Then, he slowly sits up.

And buries his face in his hands.

* * *

_**ANCIENT REPTILIAN BRAIN** \- There you have it, Harry-boy. Our last full show for the night. _

_**YOU** \- ..._

_**ANCIENT REPTILIAN BRAIN** \- No encore? No applause?_

_**YOU** \- ..._

* * *

Once Kim finally regains his composure, he stares up at the vast sky for a few moments.

Then...

"Eyes," he says, without looking at his dead partner. "I need to go back."

* * *

_**ANCIENT REPTILIAN BRAIN** \- I get it. You're speechless. It was an amazing production, wasn't it? You know what my favorite part was?_

_**YOU** \- ..._

_**ANCIENT REPTILIAN BRAIN** \- The part where he told you that he— _

_**YOU** \- You're a monster._

* * *

Eyes doesn't reply.

Kim stands up unsteadily. 

Then, he turns to look at Eyes. 

"I need to go back," Kim says again, his voice dancing at the edge of desperation. 

* * *

_**ANCIENT REPTILIAN BRAIN** \- Say that again?_

_**YOU** \- You're a monster. _

_**ANCIENT REPTILIAN BRAIN** \- Oh. Oh, Harry. You're sorely mistaken. There aren't any monsters here... _

_Only failures._

_Huge, catastrophic failures._

_**LIMBIC SYSTEM** \- The Haloed One trusted us. He trusted you. _

_**ANCIENT REPTILIAN BRAIN** \- And yet... we failed him._

_You failed him. Harry._

* * *

The expression on Eyes' face is unbearably sad, and Kim's heart plummets at the sight of it.

"Kim..." Eyes sighs heavily. 

Kim braces himself for the answer.

* * *

_**YOU** \- I... I tried to save him..._

_**ANCIENT REPTILIAN BRAIN** \- You just saw the movie, brother-man. **He** saved **you**. _

_**LIMBIC SYSTEM** \- On that gigantic ball filled with warring apes, your stinky meat-bag snivels on its tiny, unkempt bed. Its auditory system picks up a strange, high-pitched noise—_

* * *

"As much as I hate to say it," Eyes says solemnly, "that's not completely up to you, buddy."

Kim is about to ask Eyes what he means, when suddenly---

* * *

_**ANCIENT REPTILIAN BRAIN** \- And that's our cue to leave the theater. _

_Hope you're ready to face the world again, Harry-boy._

_Because it sure as hell is ready to face you._

* * *

The sky goes dark.

* * *

_**YOU** \- Before you can ask what that means, you're rudely pulled back into the waking world—_

* * *

**PERCEPTION (Hearing)** [Easy: Success] - —by a loud, high-pitched ringing sound. 

**YOU** \- Groaning, you wince and try to cover your ears with your pillow...

 **PAIN THRESHOLD** [Legendary: Failure] - But the sound pierces through your flimsy shield and drills into your ear canal like an auditory ice pick. 

**LOGIC** [Medium: Success] - Wait a minute—

 **VOLITION** [Challenging: Success] - You grit your teeth and force yourself to sit up on your cot. 

**PAIN THRESHOLD** [Legendary: Failure] - Your head throbs. Your eyes burn. Your throat's parched. Your heart aches. 

**INLAND EMPIRE** [Easy: Success] - Even though the same nightmare has plagued you for over a week now, it never gets easier to bear. In fact, it gets more and more horrific each night, as your mind begins to buckle underneath the oppressive weight of your daily vigil. 

**LOGIC** [Medium: Success] - That sound—

**YOU** \- Suddenly, you notice several things.

**PERCEPTION** [Easy: Success] - All of the lights in the room are on. 

Someone is shouting frantically down the corridor.

**LOGIC** [Impossible: Failure] - NO

**ESPRIT DE CORPS** [Godly: Failure] - Is that... Lt. Vicquemare's voice?

No. No, it can't be---

**PERCEPTION** **(Hearing)** [Easy: Success] - You finally make out what the lieutenant is shouting...

**JEAN VICQUEMARE** \- "GET A FUCKING DOCTOR HERE, NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

**PERCEPTION** **(Hearing)** [Easy: Success] - The loud, shrill ringing continues...

**PAIN THRESHOLD** [Impossible: Failure] - NO

**YOU** \- Your heart stops in your chest.

**VOLITION** [Impossible: Failure] - NO

**YOU** \- Then, you realize

**ESPRIT DE CORPS** [Impossible: Failure] - NO

**YOU** \- That what you're hearing

**EMPATHY** [Impossible: Failure] - NO

**YOU** \- Is the sound

**INLAND EMPIRE** [Impossible: Failure] - NO

**PERCEPTION (Hearing)** [Trivial: Success] - of Kim flatlining.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Before you quit this fic, please check the tags and look for "GOOD ENDING (I promise)"


	11. Stations of Breath

Before everything went to hell, Jean Vicquemare had been thinking of kebabs.

Specifically, he’d been thinking of the kebabs that he and Harry had after a long day of work around two weeks ago. A traitor in the division told Harry that Jean hadn’t eaten a single meal that day, so Harry took it upon himself to barge into Jean’s office and drag him out from the pile of paperwork that he was buried in.

“I swear, Jean,” Harry sighed as he pulled Jean towards the precinct lift. “One day, you’re going to get an ulcer, and Polly’s going to have my head for letting you starve yourself at work---”

Jean was about to retort that his younger sister, Polly, was more likely to cut Harry’s head off for giving Jean clinical depression, but he just bit his tongue and trailed after Harry like a grumpy teenager.

They walked out of the station building, crossed the bridge, and headed into the Central Jamrock Market, which housed some of the best street food on this side of Revachol West. There was Mr. Shang’s two-headed fish soup, made from the mutated trout that swam in the the Faubourg branch of the river Esperance. An ancient Mesque crone named Mathilda sold skewered ox eyeballs dipped in sweet-sour sauce, which were so good that no one bothered to ask her why some of the eyeballs looked suspiciously smaller than the others...

And then, there was Kuklov.

For as long as Precinct 41 had occupied the old silk mill, officers had whispered about Kuklov and his legendary, maggot-infested kebabs. Rumors had it that eating one kebab would grant instant immunity to food poisoning, and that eating three would grant immortality...

That day, he and Harry stayed on the safe side and ordered two boring, maggot-free kebabs. Harry insisted to pay for both of them, and Jean just shrugged and accepted his offer. They might have settled their differences, but they both knew that Harry still _owed_ Jean for everything that he had to endure during Harry’s apocalyptic, six-year-long rampage of abuse and self-destruction.

And since Jean was a kind, merciful bastard, he was willing to accept payment in kind.

Munching on their greasy kebabs, they parked themselves on the bridge and watched the sun set on the river. Jean gave Harry a sidelong look, and noted the subtle changes in his former partner's appearance. Harry’s face looked less bloated—in fact, his skin even had a ruddy, healthy glow to it. He looked less unkempt than usual—his hair was combed, his moustache and sideburns were trimmed, and his clothes weren't stained with liquor or other unsavory liquids.

Jean could only think of one explanation for Harry’s miraculous improvement, and he was hell-bent on milking every last bit of satisfaction that he can get from that little nugget of insight.

As he finished off his kebab, Jean leaned his elbows on the bridge railing and pretended to look nonchalant.

He waited until Harry had a mouthful of food before springing his trap.

“So,” he asked Harry casually. “You planning on telling him anytime soon?”

Harry choked on the chunk of meat that happily lodged itself into his trachea. 

Jean grinned. _Bingo_.

While Harry spluttered for air, Jean pretended to be helpful by patting him on the back and going, "There, there,” in a completely unapologetic way.

“W-what???” Harry stammered after successfully ejecting the piece of beef from his windpipe. “I... I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Jean rolled his eyes.

“Harry, please. You’ve been pining after Kitsuragi like a love-struck high-schooler ever since Martinaise. Practically everyone in the squad knows already."

 _Including Kim_ , Jean wanted to add. But that would make Harry's life too easy, and where would be the fun in that?

Harry's face turned a brilliant shade of crimson.

"... Everyone?" he squeaked.

Jean nodded solemnly. "Everyone. Including Mack, and you know how good he is when it comes to non-verbal cues."

Harry winced, and Jean knew that Harry was thinking of Sergeant Mack Torson’s utter inability to read non-verbal cues unless someone explained them to him in detail, preferably with pictures and an interpretative dance. 

"I don't want to pressure you or anything," Jean lied, "but at this rate, someone else might tell him before you do---"

The wide-eyed look of terror on Harry's face was better than any anti-depressant. 

" _No_!!! I mean... Erm," Harry coughed loudly into his fist. "That... that wouldn't be. Ideal."

 _You said it, buddy_ , Jean thought to himself. 

"So what are you going to do about it?" he asked.

For a long while, Harry just stared out at the river, and Jean could practically hear the voices in Harry's head having an emergency town hall meeting.

When they eventually reached consensus, Harry cleared his throat and stood up a little straighter. 

"Alright. I'm going to tell him," he said with a resolute glint in his eyes.

Jean raised a skeptical eyebrow at him. "Okay. When?"

Harry's bravado faltered for a bit. "Uh. Sometime soon? Maybe... next week?"

Jean sighed and shook his head.

"I swear, Harry," he muttered. "If I don't get an ulcer from skipping meals, then I'm going to get one from watching you dance in circles around Kitsuragi like a fucking ballerina."

Harry's shoulders drooped, and Jean stifled the ridiculous urge to apologize to Harry for being such a smart-ass.

Thankfully, Harry dispelled every shred of Jean's guilt by asking a stupid question.

"Jean," Harry said, his voice low and uncertain. "What if... What if I mess this one up again?"

Jean blinked. 

_Oh fuck_ , Jean thought. _He's going to wallow in self-pity---_

"I don't deserve him, Jean,” Harry continued, promptly confirming Jean's worst fears. “You know the kind of man that I am---

_I do?_ Jean wondered. 

_Yeah, you do,_ his clinical depression answered.

"---and he deserves better. Kim deserves someone...good. Someone who can make him happy."

Just when Jean thought it couldn't get any worse, Harry's lips curved up in a smile that was so full of sadness and self-loathing that Jean's blood boiled at the mere sight of it.

"Someone who isn’t a godforsaken fuck-up like---"

Jean snapped.

"Enough!" he growled with such vehemence that Harry took a startled step back. "Stop your goddamn pity party and get your gigantic head out of your ass, Harry."

While Harry gaped stupidly at him, Jean took the opportunity to ram some sense into Harry's brain.

“Look,” Jean sighed.“You fucked up. Phenomenally. Monumentally. You fucked up so bad that the 41st’s become the laughing stock of the entire RCM, and my therapist got clinical depression from _my_ clinical depression, which _I_ got from the People's Pile of shit that you left behind for me to clean up.”

Harry looked like Jean had just punched him in the gut. 

_Okay, Vicquemare,_ Jean thought to himself. _Time to say something uplifting before he throws himself into the river._

“But ever since Martinaise, you’ve... changed," Jean said. “You’ve shown up to work sober, you haven’t shouted at anyone, you actually look like you’ve been taking a bath everyday---”

At that, Harry gave himself a self-conscious little sniff.

“---and you’ve managed to gain the trust and loyalty of a _damn_ good police officer,” Jean said begrudgingly.

_Did I just admit that Kim's a damn good police officer?_ Jean asked himself.

 _Yes. Yes, you did_ , his bruised ego replied.

Apparently, the day was just full of miracles.

Meanwhile, Harry looked like he was about to cry.

Desperately fighting the urge to punch Harry in the face, Jean pressed on.

“So stop snivelling and give yourself another chance, because---”

 _I have_.

"---Kitsuragi probably doesn't give a flying fuck about your past," he ended up saying. "But he cares about who you are now."

_And so do I._

In the stunned, prolonged silence that ensued after his tirade, Jean realized that Harry was looking at him with a strange expression.

It looked like...awe.

Respect.

Gratitude. 

And since Jean just wasn't emotionally ready for that kind of shit, he resorted to his favorite coping mechanism.

Namely, messing with Harry until the other man stopped being such an emotional git. 

"So you'd better grow a spine and tell Kitsuragi soon, or else I'll have to call for a special meeting with only one item on the agenda---"

As Harry sputtered and flailed around in flustered panic, Jean mentally berated himself. 

_Dammit, Vicquemare,_ he thought. 

_You're getting fucking **soft**_ **.**

Only two weeks have passed since that afternoon, but Jean feels like it happened a lifetime ago, in an entirely different world--a good, fair world where bad things didn't happen to damn good people, and where even the most phenomenal, monumental fuck-ups could still get another chance at life.

Then, while Jean sits in the darkness of Kim's hospital room, he realizes that he hasn't gotten soft.

He's gotten fucking _tenderized_. 

Sighing quietly, Jean looks over at Harry, who's sleeping fitfully on the small cot by the window. 

Then, he looks at Kim.

_Did he get to tell you?_ Jean wonders.

But the only response that he gets is quiet, steady breathing. 

... Which, given the situation, is much, _much_ better than nothing.

As the minutes tick by, Jean thinks about what he could do while watching over Kim. Like eat dinner. Or read a Dick Mullen novel. Or browse some reports that he brought from the precinct.

...Or he could just submerge himself in the veritable ocean of suffering, hope, and despair that’s flooding the room. 

Jean quickly decides that for the sake of his sanity, he should go and read that Dick Mullen novel. Right now. 

He's about to stand up and get his suitcase, when all of a sudden...

* * *

_The darkness descends in the blink of an eye_

* * *

A sharp monotone fills the air. 

* * *

_Startled, Kim looks up---_

* * *

Startled, Jean looks towards the bed---

\--- and stares at Kim's heart monitor.

* * *

_And what he does not see sends a bolt of terror down his spine._

* * *

The world sways alarmingly beneath Jean's feet.

* * *

_The bright **,** blue sky is gone_

_And in its place, there's only..._

* * *

"No," he whispers.

* * *

_Warm, primordial blackness._

* * *

Then, Jean's bolting towards the door.

* * *

_"Eyes," Kim begins to ask. "What's---"_

* * *

One of Jean's hands slams onto the light switch as he pushes the door open---

* * *

_Suddenly, a searing dagger of pain_ _stabs through Kim's heart._

* * *

"GET A FUCKING DOCTOR HERE, NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Jean screams down the corridor.

Shocked and terrified faces stare at him---

Then, he remembers.

_Harry._

_I need to wake Harry up_ \---

* * *

_Clutching his chest, Kim tries to gasp for air---_

* * *

Jean turns around.

But Harry---

* * *

_The dagger twists._

* * *

Harry's already awake.

* * *

_And Kim's world explodes in white-hot agony._

* * *

Time stops.

Jean stares at Harry.

Harry stares at Kim.

"... Kim?" Harry asks, his voice small and disbelieving.

* * *

_Kim crumples to his knees._

_The pain radiates through his chest in merciless waves._

* * *

Slowly, a look of horrific realization begins to dawn on Harry's face. 

"Kim?" Harry asks again, louder this time.

* * *

_He can't stand up._

_He can't breathe._

* * *

Harry lurches up from his cot---

Jean launches himself forward---

* * *

_Suddenly, a heavy hand suddenly lands on Kim's shoulder._

* * *

Jean throws his entire weight against Harry and pins him bodily against the wall.

* * *

_"Don't fight it, Kim," Eyes says, his voice muffled and distant because of the pounding in Kim's ears._

* * *

The door to the room bursts open. 

* * *

_"Just let it happen---"_

* * *

"Code blue!" A woman shouts. "Someone get the defib!!!!"

* * *

_A loud roar echoes through Kim's ears._

_Black spots dance in front of his eyes._

**_No---_** _Kim thinks frantically as the world begins to fade._

**_Harry---_ **

* * *

" _ **KIM!!!!!!!**_ " Harry screams into Jean's ear.

* * *

_Then..._

_Kim sees her._

* * *

As Harry howls and thrashes against him like a wild beast, Jean realizes that he's forgotten just how fucking _strong_ Harry is. 

* * *

_She stands, beautiful and luminous, beside the swing._

_A white-gold wreath crowns her head._

_Her hair is blonde._

_And her lungs---_

* * *

" _HARRY_!!!!" Jean yells over his friend's frantic wails.

* * *

_Eyes stands up and turns to look at her._

_He presses a hand to his chest and bows his head._

_"My Lady," he murmurs reverently._

* * *

"No pulse! Start compressions!" someone yells.

* * *

_Silently, she glides forward on daintily-slippered feet..._

_... until she's standing right in front of Kim._

* * *

Jean winces as Harry lets out a monstrous roar.

* * *

_"Salutations, Lieutenant," she says, in a voice as light and gentle as a morning breeze._

* * *

Suddenly, Harry's elbow smashes against Jean's cheek---

Pain explodes through Jean’s skull.

* * *

_At the sound of her voice, the oppressive weight on Kim's chest disappears._

_He takes a desperate, shuddering intake of breath._

* * *

Jean sees red.

* * *

_"Do not be afraid," she says. "The darkness cannot reach you while we are here."_

* * *

With a loud cry of rage, Jean slams Harry down to the floor---

* * *

_Even as he marvels at her impossible beauty, Kim becomes aware of distants shouts that seem to be coming from all directions..._

* * *

He twists Harry's arm behind his back. 

He jams his knee into Harry's spine.

* * *

_"Mortal bodies are so frail," the Lady tells Kim quietly, without a hint of sadness in her voice._

* * *

Distantly, Jean tastes blood in his mouth---

* * *

_"All it takes is a single, well-aimed bullet, and everything---" Slowly, she touches her chest, right above her heart._

* * *

Underneath Jean, Harry bucks and writhes against him like a crazed ox headed to slaughter.

* * *

_"---descends into oblivion."_

* * *

“No no no no no---” Harry moans while staring at the cold, still figure on the bed---

* * *

_"But you, Lieutenant... You keep fighting against the inevitable tide of mortality that threatens to sweep you away.” She tilts her head at him like a curious little girl examining a particularly interesting puzzle._

_“Why is that?" she asks._

* * *

As Jean continues to restrain Harry, he helplessly watches on as the doctors and nurses try to resuscitate Kim.

* * *

_Then, her ocean-green eyes glitter with comprehension._

_"It is because of him, isn't it?” she murmurs. “The one who calls us the apricot-scented one. The one who beholds his long-lost love when he beholds us..."_

_It takes Kim a while before he realizes whom she’s referring to._

* * *

A nurse kneels on top of the bed and forcefully pistons her arms against Kim’s chest over and over and over---

She pauses to breathe into his nose and mouth---

* * *

_The Lady’s eyes turn downcast, and for a moment, the darkness threatens to press in once more._

_"He does not know it yet... but that one is destined for the rise and fall of many in Elysium,” she says somberly._

* * *

“Still no pulse!"

"Continue the compressions!”

* * *

_“A great peril approaches the New New World, a great catastrophe that threatens the very existence of the city that you love so dearly---”_

_A cold fist seizes Kim’s heart._

* * *

Jean watches her do it again.

And again.

And again.

* * *

_“On that day, the sky will burn, and with it, millions of souls who dared to defy the divine will of the infernal behemoth known as the free market..."_

* * *

As the seconds mercilessly tick by, Jean feels Harry’s struggles gradually begin to die down---

* * *

_"He will be the city's only hope. Its last and greatest hero. But...”_

_Her solemn gaze lands on Kim._

* * *

The nurse’s face glistens with sweat.

Her arms tremble with effort---

* * *

_"He cannot fulfill that destiny without you by his side."_

* * *

And, from his hapless position beneath Jean...

Harry begins to sob.

* * *

_"If you perish here now, he will follow you into the very jaws of hell itself...”_

_Slowly, she crouches down until her luminous face is level with his._

_“And we cannot allow that to happen."_

* * *

Suddenly---

“Stop the compressions,” a woman’s voice says wearily.

* * *

_"Sergeant Legrande,” she says, without looking away from Kim. "Would you have any parting words for the lieutenant?"_

* * *

Jean whips his head up---

He sees a doctor approaching the bed.

* * *

_Beside her, Eyes remains silent for a moment._

_Then, he bows his head._

_“Yes, my Lady. I do.”_

* * *

She’s removing the surgical glove from her right hand...

* * *

_The Lady nods. “Very well. Speak, Sergeant.”_

* * *

Jean knows what’s about to happen.

He’s done it himself hundreds of times before.

* * *

_Somehow, Kim manages to tear his gaze away from hers._

_When Kim looks at Eyes, the other man’s face is full of emotion---_

* * *

And Jean also knows what it means.

* * *

_Sadness._

_Respect._

_Gratitude._

* * *

Jean knows it all too well.

* * *

_“It was really good to see you again, Kim,” Eyes says quietly._

* * *

It was a final benediction.

* * *

_“It was an honor to be your partner,” Eyes continues. "But I hope we don't see each other again for a long, long time..."_

* * *

A reverent farewell. 

* * *

_Then, Eyes gives him a final, beatific grin._

_"Go get 'em, Speedfreak," he says._

_And before Kim can respond, the Lady reaches out---_

* * *

The doctor extends her hand---

* * *

_\--- and touches Kim’s chest._

* * *

Then...

* * *

_A miracle happens._

* * *

**???** – You take a deep, shuddering gasp of air---

**?A?? ?????????** [?????: ???????] – Harsh, white, blinding light---

**P?R???????** (??????g) [G????: ??????e] – Loud, frantic voices, shouting all around you---

**???F-LI??T** [????y: ?a??u??] – Fear, panic, terror---

**P??CEP???N (??gh?)** [?o??y: F????re] – Muddled splashes of color, hazy, undefined shapes and figures----

**?OM??SURE** [G??ly: Fail??e] – Loud, panting gasps, violent, uncontrollable trembling---

Suddenly, amidst the wild cacophony of voices

One of them rises up

and dominates over the rest.

**AUTHORITY** [Godly: Success] – Welcome back to the land of the living.

Lieutenant.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1) Kuklov's kebabs (and their legendary effects), the People's Pile, the New New World, and the Lady's assassination are all canon. 
> 
> 2) Just in case you're wondering: Yes, this entire fic was an intricate, deliberate ploy to provide context for how this chapter concluded (though it's possible to predict this as early as [Chapter 2](https://archiveofourown.org/works/22476049/chapters/53729881).)
> 
> The first ever version of this fic was a drabble where Kim wakes up in the hospital, hearing voices in his head. Originally, Kim's voices were meant to be different from Harry's, but three things made me decide to stick to Harry's set of voices:
> 
> \- First, in-game conversations mention that Kim's Authority is off the charts, which would make sense if he had the same skills as Harry.
> 
> \- Second, so many other writers in the fandom ([Kawa](https://archiveofourown.org/users/fandomonymous/pseuds/Kawa), [Darelz](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Darelz/pseuds/Darelz), [pointyshades](https://archiveofourown.org/users/pointyshades/pseuds/pointyshades), and [theonlytwin](https://archiveofourown.org/users/theonlytwin/pseuds/theonlytwin)) have already made _excellent_ alt-skills for Kim (and Jean), and I highly recommend that you check out their works if you haven't yet.
> 
> \- Third, as of the time of writing, no one has attempted to write Kim POV using Harry's voices.
> 
> So of course, I _had_ to kick down that door and see what's behind it.
> 
> Two more chapters to go --- the aftermath, and an epilogue.
> 
> Thank you for reading!


	12. Authority

**AUTHORITY** [Godly: Success] – Welcome back to the land of the living.

Lieutenant.

**YOU** – _What_? Who—

You look about you frantically in a blind, desperate effort to find the source of that voice.

**PERCEPTION** [Trivial: Success] – Suddenly, a huge, blurry shadow looms over you.

 **????? ?? ????** – “ _Kim!!!_ Oh god, Kim—”

 **ESPRIT DE CORPS** [Trivial: Success] – That voice—

 **EMPATHY** [Medium: Success] – Panic. Incredulity. _Relief_.

 **ELECTROCHEMISTRY** [Trivial: Success] – It’s... It’s _him_ —

 **PERCEPTION** – Blinking, you try to make out the features of the man leaning over you—

Large, warm hands cup your face—

**EMPATHY** [Trivial: Success] - _Harry_

 **LOGIC** [Trivial: Success] - _Harry_

**PERCEPTION (Sight)** [Medium: Success] –Then...

You stare.

**ESPRIT DE CORPS [Trivial: Success] –** _Harry_

 **PERCEPTION** [Trivial: Success] – _Harry_

**YOU** – “...Harry?”

 **COMPOSURE** [Legendary: Failure] – Your voice comes out as a trembling whisper. 

**PERCEPTION** [Easy: Success] – It’s him.

It’s really, really _him_.

**HARRY DU BOIS** – Above you, Harry continues to cup your face in his warm, warm hands.

 **PERCEPTION** [Easy: Success] - His hands are shaking. His eyes are wide. His face is red and splotchy, as if he'd just been—

Suddenly, you feel wet drops on your cheeks. 

**YOU** – Stunned, you continue to stare up at Harry’s weeping face.

 **CONCEPTUALIZATION** [Medium: Success] - A bright light shines behind his head like a radiant corona, and you cannot help but marvel at his impossible presence—

 **HARRY DU BOIS** \- He opens his mouth to say something...

But he chokes on his tears.

Instead, he engulfs you in his arms—

**COMPOSURE** [Legendary: Failure] – And you finally let yourself fall apart.

* * *

**YOU** \- The next few days go by in a blur.

You spend most of your time vacillating between exhausted wakefulness and deep, dreamless sleep. During your waking moments, doctors and nurses come by to check on your physical condition and to ask you a variety of questions, which range from basic information (your name, age, occupation), to the events that happened prior to your confinement. 

**INLAND EMPIRE** [Challenging: Failure] - You're able to remember the horrible things that happened in the tunnel, but for some reason, you continue to have a persistent, nagging feeling at the back of your mind, as if you've forgotten a very significant dream...

You remember snatches of it every now and then—a blue sky. A swing. A familiar face... 

But everything else slips through your memory like sand in an hourglass.

**ESPRIT DE CORPS** [Medium: Success] - Whether you're asleep or awake, Detective Du Bois is a constant presence at your bedside. He watches over you like a nervous mother hen while the doctors and nurses administer their tests and fiddle with the various tubes and wires attached to your body—

 **PAIN THRESHOLD** [Challenging: Failure] - Some of which are hooked up to some very...uncomfortable places.

 **ESPRIT DE CORPS** [Medium: Success] - —and he also shoos them out of your room when he senses that you're worn out by their ministrations. 

**AUTHORITY** [Medium: Success] - There is a part of you that recoils from the detective's solicitude. It is the part of you that cannot bear the idea of appearing so weak and vulnerable in the eyes of the one person whose esteem you value higher than anyone else's, that cannot bear the idea of being a burden for someone who already has so much to bear...

 **EMPATHY** [Easy: Success] - But this part is swiftly silenced whenever Harry holds your hand, and looks at you as if you were the most precious person in the universe.

Which happens often.

...Actually, all the time.

**VOLITION** \- During the rare moments when Harry has to step outside of your room, it takes a ridiculously long time for the both of you to muster up enough willpower to let go of each other's hands.

Eventually, he manages to come up with a way to reduce both of your suffering.

 **HARRY DU BOIS** \- "Okay, Kim. I really need to go and buy food now. We're going to let go of each other at the count of three. Alright?"

 **YOU** \- You nod resolutely.

 **VOLITION** \- You absolutely do _**not** _want to let go of his hand. 

**EMPATHY** [Medium: Success] - And he absolutely does **_not_** want to let go of yours.

**HARRY DU BOIS** \- He takes a deep breath before starting.

"One..."

Despite what he just said, you feel him squeeze your hand tighter. 

**VOLITION** \- He's not making this any easier for the both of you, is he?

 **HARRY DU BOIS** \- "Two..."

 **PAIN THRESHOLD** [Legendary: Failure] - The mere prospect of spending the next twenty minutes without Harry's warm, solid presence beside you fills you with an embarrassing amount of dread and despondency. 

**AUTHORITY** [Legendary: Failure] - What kind of pathetic, needy creature has he turned us into?

 **HARRY DU BOIS** \- "Three!"

**VOLITION** [Godly: Success] - Through a stupendous act of will, you succeed in letting go of his hand.

 **HARRY DU BOIS** \- And he succeeds in letting go of yours.

 **PAIN THRESHOLD** [Legendary: Failure] - Why does this hurt so much? Will it always hurt this much? How have you managed to live this long without him constantly holding your hand?

**YOU** \- For a long moment, the two of you just stare at the empty space between your hands.

"Harry," you finally manage to say through gritted teeth. "Please go now before I accidentally make you starve to death."

**HARRY DU BOIS** \- He looks like he wants to laugh and cry at the same time.

**YOU** \- As the door finally closes behind him, you release the shuddering breath that you didn't know you were holding. 

**ELECTROCHEMISTRY** [Legendary: Success] - So...

I have good news and bad news.

**YOU** \- At the sound of _that_ particular voice, you sigh internally.

Alright. What's the bad news?

 **ELECTROCHEMISTRY** [Legendary: Success] - The bad news is... you're fucked.

 **COMPOSURE** [Challenging: Failure] - You succeed in keeping your face completely deadpan, but the tips of your traitorous ears begin to turn warm.

 **YOU** \- And the good news?

 **ELECTROCHEMISTRY** [Legendary: Success] - The good news is... you're _mutually_ fucked. 

**VOLITION** [Godly: Success] - Even in the solitude of your room, you barely manage to stifle the temptation to bury your face in your pillow and groan out loud in mortification.

 **ELECTROCHEMISTRY -** Aw, come on. You should be happy! He's _totally_ interested in you. And you're totally interested in him. How can you _not_ be happy about that???

 **AUTHORITY** [Challenging: Success] - Because it's humiliating.

 **COMPOSURE** [Challenging: Success] - Because it's unbecoming. 

**ESPRIT DE CORPS** [Challenging: Success] - Because despite everything that you feel towards him, Detective Du Bois is still officially your partner, and initiating a relationship with him would be the height of unprofessionalism.

 **ELECTROCHEMISTRY** [Legendary: Failure] - Oh my god. This is why you haven't gotten laid in—

**YOU** \- Please shut him up.

 **VOLITION** [Godly: Success] - Done.

**YOU** \- As you wait for Harry to return, you decide to take advantage of your solitude to get to the bottom of things. 

After all, you're alone right now.

With only your thoughts for company.

**RHETORIC** [Trivial: Success] - Literally. 

**YOU** \- You take a moment to gather your thoughts...

**RHETORIC** [Trivial: Success] - Again, very literally.

**YOU** \- So...

What exactly is going on here?

**LOGIC** [Easy: Success] - You're hearing voices in your head.

 **YOU** \- You let out another mental sigh.

Yes, I know. But _why_ am I hearing voices in my head?

**LOGIC -** Perhaps it has something to do with your recent ordeal? After all, being clinically dead for five minutes counts as a pretty traumatic experience.

But... There is something else. Something that has to do with—

 **ESPRIT DE CORPS** [Medium: Success] - A certain lieutenant double-yefreitor who _also_ hears voices in his own head.

**YOU** \- You blink.

Harry? What has this got to do with---

**PERCEPTION (Sight)** [Easy: Success] - Suddenly, your eyes land on the twin tubes that are attached to the back of your right hand. One of these tubes is connected to a bag full a clear liquid---

 **LOGIC** [Challenging: Success] - A saline solution to keep you hydrated and to facilitate drug delivery.

 **PERCEPTION (Sight)** [Easy: Success] - ---while the other is connected to a bag that contains a thick, red substance.

 **LOGIC** [Trivial: Success] - You don't need to be a detective to know what that bag contains. 

**INLAND EMPIRE** [Medium: Success] - _The crack of a gun_

_"KIM!!!"_

_Blood in your mouth, blood on your hands, blood on the floor—_

**HALF-LIGHT** [Heroic: Failure] - Even after all this time, the memory still sends a shiver through your spine.

 **PERCEPTION** **(Sight)** [Easy: Success] - Tearing your gaze away from the bag of blood, you look down at the swathe of bandages that cover your abdomen...

**LOGIC** [Easy: Success] - Given the amount of blood that you lost in that tunnel, you would have died if you hadn't received a transfusion the moment you arrived at the hospital.

And you have a sneaking suspicion about who the donor might have been...

**ESPRIT DE CORPS** [Medium: Success] - After you had been shot, Detective du Bois had staunched your wound with his own jacket. He carried you on his back through the entire length of that dark, dark tunnel. He cradled your head in his lap and anxiously watched over you during that nerve-wracking drive to the hospital.

So when the doctors told him that you needed blood _—_

He didn't think twice. 

**EMPATHY** [Easy: Success] - Because if your positions had been reversed...

You wouldn't have thought twice either. 

**PAIN THRESHOLD** [Legendary: Failure] - Unconsciously, your hand twitches and yearns for the warmth of its larger companion.

 **COMPOSURE** [Legendary: Failure] - Meanwhile, you struggle to contain the whirlwind of emotions that threatens to overwhelm you.

 **EMPATHY** [Challenging: Success] - Awe. Anxiety. Relief. Gratitude...

**VOLITION** [Godly: Success] - And one other emotion that you still refuse to admit to yourself, even within your own head.

**LOGIC** [Medium: Success] - If it truly is Detective Du Bois' blood coursing through your veins right now—

 **ELECTROCHEMISTRY** [Heroic: Success] - Then he's _inside_ you. Pumping through your heart, embracing every organ, kissing the very ends of your tiniest capillaries—

 **COMPOSURE** [Legendary: Success] - You barely suppress the heated shudder that almost courses through your body.

 **LOGIC** [Medium: Success] - —then that would explain your current...predicament. 

**ELECTROCHEMISTRY** \- I'm guessing we're not talking about the same predicament here. Or are we?

**YOU** \- Please shut him up.

 **VOLITION** [Godly: Success] - Gladly.

**YOU** \- Before you can resume your self-examination, the door to your room bursts open as Harry barrels through it with a paper bag in his hand.

 **COMPOSURE** [Challenging: Success] - The mere sight of him makes your heart flutter violently in your chest, but you manage to restrain yourself from sighing out loud in relief. 

**PERCEPTION (Smell)** [Easy: Success] - An absolutely delectable smell wafts up from the paper bag that Harry's holding...

 **PAIN THRESHOLD** \- Unfortunately, not all of your digestive organs are capable of resuming their normal functioning yet, so you'll have to settle for vicariously satisfying your craving for food by watching Harry eat.

**HARRY DU BOIS** \- Harry takes out a sandwich from the bag. 

**LOGIC** [Challenging: Success] - He bought something that he could eat with _one hand_. 

**HARRY DU BOIS -** As he takes his first bite of food, he reaches out to you with his free hand—

 **VOLITION** [Heroic: Failure] - Instinctively, you reach out towards him—

**ELECTROCHEMISTRY** [Challenging: Success] - When your hands finally meet again, the blood in your veins thrums with contented bliss.

 **AUTHORITY** [Legendary: Failure] - This man will be the death of us. 

**COMPOSURE** [Legendary: Failure] - You said it, boss. 

**HARRY DU BOIS** \- He demolishes his sandwich with impressive speed, as if he were racing against time.

 **YOU** \- Why's he in such a hurry?

 **ENDURANCE** [Legendary: Failure] - Because he wants to spend time with you before _this_ happens. 

**YOU** \- Suddenly, a wave of exhaustion crashes over you.

 **LOGIC** [Medium: Success] - It seems that our little internal conference took more out of you than you expected.

**VOLITION** [Impossible: Failure] - You try to fight against the fatigue, but your eyelids are getting unbearably heavy... 

**YOU** \- I don't understand... How does he handle all of this?

 **ELECTROCHEMISTRY** [Easy: Success] - Mostly through copious amounts of drugs and booze, but it looks like all of that changed when you entered the picture.

 **LOGIC** [Medium: Success] - Also, through soul-destroying workaholism. After all, no sane detective could have a completed-case count _that_ high without having serious personal issues.

**HARRY DU BOIS** \- "Kim? Do you need to rest?"

 **PERCEPTION (Hearing)** [Challenging: Success] - Harry's voice gently drifts through the fog that's drifting over your senses.

 **YOU** \- You nod drowsily, and you sense, more than see, the fond smile that blooms on Harry's face.

 **HARRY DU BOIS** \- "Okay. Go ahead and sleep."

He squeezes your hand firmly.

"I'll be right here when you wake up."

 **DRAMA** [Easy: Success] - He speaks the truth, my emperor.

**YOU** \- Comforted by his words and by his warm, steadfast presence, you close your eyes and drift off...

 **PERCEPTION** [Trivial: Success] - Before sleep overtakes you, the last thing you feel is the gentle brush of his knuckles against your cheek.

* * *

**LIMBIC SYSTEM** \- Even as your consciousness descends into blessed darkness, your shredded abdominal cavity send out waves of excruciating pain, which are mercifully blocked at your neural synapses by beneficent molecules of morphine.

**ANCIENT REPTILIAN BRAIN** \- Hello, Kimball. 

I've been _dying_ to meet you. 

**YOU** \- You're...different from the other voices.

Who are you?

**ANCIENT REPTILIAN BRAIN** \- Who, lil' ol' me? I'm nobody. Just... a shadow.

 **LIMBIC SYSTEM** \- The shadow that slinks at the corner of your eye, the dark thought that flits through your mind, the black stain that mars your conscience...

 **ANCIENT REPTILIAN BRAIN** \- But we're not here to talk about me, darling. We're here to talk about _you_. 

**YOU** \- There's nothing to talk about.

**ANCIENT REPTILIAN BRAIN** \- No need to be so modest, Speedfreak. You're practically a celebrity! Not everyone gets to come back from Fuck-All-Borough and live to tell about it. And let's not even talk about _how_ you came back...

 **LIMBIC SYSTEM** \- Deep within your chest, the surface of your heart still bears the swirls and whorls of five, luminous fingertips.

No one will ever see them.

No one will ever know. 

**ANCIENT REPTILIAN BRAIN** \- Do you remember her? How her face shone like the sun? How her voice sounded like a cool, morning breeze? How her lungs shone in her chest, like twin, respiring moons... 

**YOU** \- I...

**ANCIENT REPTILIAN BRAIN** \- ... You don't, do you?

You were just resurrected by the greatest fucking Innocence of this current century, and you don't remember a single thing.

Tell me... Do you remember your dead partner? 

**YOU** \- Eyes? How do you—

**ANCIENT REPTILIAN BRAIN** \- Just answer the question, Kimball.

**YOU** \- ... No. No, I don't—

**ANCIENT REPTILIAN BRAIN** \- And why is that, Kim? Why don't you remember his impossible presence, the sound of his laughter, his precious last words? 

_I_ know the answer to all of that. But... do _you_?

 **LIMBIC SYSTEM** \- All of your sensory organs are overwhelmed by the presence of a singular being, one whose brilliance outshines that of the Lady and whose companionship you hold dearer than your dead partner's...

You are completely, utterly enthralled, and you have no desire to be liberated from this slavery.

**ANCIENT REPTILIAN BRAIN** \- You had it all going for you, Speedfreak. The world called you a chink, a faggot, a fucking binoclard. But you proved them all wrong, brother-man. You proved them all wrong by working yourself to the bone, by sucking up eighteen-years worth of absolutely glorious bullshit just so you can prove to those racist, prejudiced bastards that no one, absolutely _no one_ , fucks with Kim Kitsuragi. 

**LIMBIC SYSTEM** \- You were a fortress—

 **ANCIENT REPTILIAN BRAIN** \- A pillar of steel—

 **LIMBIC SYSTEM** \- A lone rock standing proudly against the chaos of this world—

 **ANCIENT REPTILIAN BRAIN** \- But you've just thrown all of that away, haven't you, Kim? 

You've just thrown all of that away, and you don't even have the decency to feel a single shred of guilt or regret about that.

And you did it all because of _him_. 

**LIMBIC SYSTEM** \- The solid, heavy warmth of his hand around yours sends blissful waves of oxytocin pulsing through your peripheral nervous system. How have you lived without this? How _can_ you live without this? 

**ANCIENT REPTILIAN BRAIN** \- You've become weak. Vulnerable. Dependent. A disgrace to this city and to your heritage.

 **LIMBIC SYSTEM** \- You've carved out your own heart and placed it in his hands.

 **ANCIENT REPTILIAN BRAIN** \- And we all know it's just a matter of time before he crushes it into a warm, bloody pulp.

**YOU** \- No. Harry will never—

**ANCIENT REPTILIAN BRAIN** \- See what I mean? Before he came along, you would never have lied to yourself like this. 

Time to put on your detective hat, Kimball. He's had two chances—two _fucking_ chances—to turn away from the animal that he'd become.

And he failed. Both of them.

So what, pray tell, makes you think that he'll succeed this time around?

 **LIMBIC SYSTEM** \- Even as we speak, the accursed Disco One hears the siren call of his past loves—the intoxicating oblivion of alcohol, the psychedelic rush of amphetamines, the heady bliss of nicotine...

He longs for them so powerfully that his hand trembles around yours—

**ANCIENT REPTILIAN BRAIN** \- Time for a reality check, Kim. He's an addict. A self-destructive, hopeless addict who's willing to drag down the entire world with him if it means that he gets to forget about the animal that he's become...

He's an addict, Kimball. 

And you've just become his favorite drug.

 **LIMBIC SYSTEM** \- And he'll do _anything_ for that next hit.

**ANCIENT REPTILIAN BRAIN** \- But it gets worse. Oh, my dear, dear brother-man, it gets so much worse, because now... Now, his filthy, vicious blood is flowing through your veins. 

You know what that means don't you?

**YOU** \- It means that he saved my—

**ANCIENT REPTILIAN BRAIN** \- Wrong answer, Kim. Totally wrong.

 **LIMBIC SYSTEM** \- Absolutely fucking wrong. 

**ANCIENT REPTILIAN BRAIN** \- It means that _you're_ an addict now too.

 **LIMBIC SYSTEM** \- And no matter how much of him you consume, it will never, _ever_ be enough...

**ANCIENT REPTILIAN BRAIN** \- And you...

You'll never be enough for him either.

**YOU** \- ... You're right. 

**ANCIENT REPTILIAN BRAIN** \- What's that, darling? 

**YOU** \- You're right. He'll never be enough for me.

And...

I'll never be enough for him.

**ANCIENT REPTILIAN BRAIN** \- That's the spirit—

**YOU** \- **_I'm not done talking, you hissy bastard_**. 

**INLAND EMPIRE** [Legendary: Success] - Stupefied silence rings out in your mind. Deep within the darkness of your unconscious, you sense a pair of yellow, snake-like eyes staring at you with astonishment and furious indignation—

**YOU** \- Yes, you're right—we're never going to be enough for each other.

But what you don't see, you malicious, spiteful _worm—_

**AUTHORITY** [Godly: Success] - **_Yes_**.

Put this snivelling creature in its rightful place.

**YOU** \- _—_ is that people aren't meant to be everything to each other.

They're fucking meant to just be _themselves_ to each other.

**AUTHORITY** [Godly: Success] - A solid blow.

Continue. 

**YOU** \- You're right—Harry's an addict. You're right—he's fucked up every single chance that he's been given so far.

He's weak. Vulnerable. Dependent—

**LIMBIC SYSTEM** \- He's _**infected** _you—

**YOU** \- **_No._**

He has _strengthened_ me.

**AUTHORITY** [Godly: Success] - Excellent. You've created an opening. 

Now, **punish** it.

**YOU** \- All this time, I thought that I needed to be tough. Invulnerable. Independent.

I thought that I needed to be all that because if I wasn't, then the world would eat me up and spit out my bones, like what it did to—

**AUTHORITY** [Godly: Success] - This is no time to reminisce about the dead.

Press on.

**YOU** \- But Harry...

Harry trusted me with...himself.

His weak, vulnerable, dependent, fucked-up self. 

And because of that—

Because of _him—_

**AUTHORITY** [Godly: Success] - _Slay it._

**YOU** \- I finally got the courage to be my weak, vulnerable, dependent, fucked-up self too.

**ANCIENT REPTILIAN BRAIN** \- _Listen here you chinky-eyed fag_ —

**YOU** \- No.

**AUTHORITY [Godly: Success]** \- **You** listen to **me** , you goddamned snake. 

**YOU** \- You don't get to talk shit about Harry.

**AUTHORITY** [Godly: Success] - You don't get to talk at all. 

**YOU** \- Because I'm Kim Kitsuragi.

**AUTHORITY** [Godly: Success] - And no one...

Absolutely _no one...._

**YOU** \- Fucks with me. 

**AUTHORITY** [Godly: Success] - _Especially._

**YOU** \- _Not._

**AUTHORITY** [Godly: Success] _**\- You**_. 

**INLAND EMPIRE** [Legendary: Success] - A pair of shrill, otherworldly shrieks of pure rage and panic rips through your subconscious before trailing off into the distance, as if a crazed and wounded two-headed beast were fleeing back into its dark, subterranean lair...

**YOU** \- ... Thank you for helping me.

**AUTHORITY** \- Do not grow complacent, Lieutenant. That creature will be back. 

But when it does...

We will be ready for it. 

**YOU** \- ... Ace's High.

**AUTHORITY** \- ...

...

...

...

...

**AUTHORITY** [Godly: Success] - ... Ace's High.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1) The alternate title of this chapter is, "Arby Finally Gets His Ass Handed to Him"
> 
> 2) Once again, I've underestimated the number of chapters needed to put this monster to rest. The good news is that just like this one, the next chapters are mostly composed of fluff and uplifting drama. Yay!
> 
> 3) Game (referring to Kim): "This guy's got Authority off the charts."  
> Me: "Okay, but how would that look like, exactly?"  
> I was pleasantly surprised by the answer, and I hope you were too! 
> 
> 4) Finally, please repeat after me:  
>  _KIM!  
>  WHY!  
> ARE!  
> YOU!  
> SUCH!  
> A!  
> BADASS?!_
> 
> Next chapter: Someone from Precinct 41 has a long-overdue one-on-one with Kim.
> 
> Thank you for reading, and I hope you enjoyed this chapter!


	13. The Debriefing

**INLAND EMPIRE** \- As the last tendrils of primordial darkness slip away from your consciousness, you are gently borne back to the waking world by a serene current...

 **YOU** \- You wake up...

 **ENDURANCE** [Easy: Success] - ... and marvel at how well-rested you feel.

 **YOU** \- A pleasant mellowness fills your body and mind, and you snuggle against your pillow with a sigh.

 **VOLITION** \- On a typical day, you only get around 6 hours of sleep, going to bed at 11:00 pm and waking up at exactly 5:00 am. Just like your nightly cigarette, this daily routine has forged your willpower into cold, hard steel, and the habit has been so ingrained into your body that you naturally wake up at that ungodly hour even on weekends.

...In other words, it has been a very, _very_ long time since you've had the chance to indulge in sleep like this, and you're loving every second of it.

 **YOU** \- So I just needed to have a near-death experience for me to be able to sleep in.

 **VOLITION** \- Yes. Pretty much. 

**PAIN THRESHOLD** \- For future reference, you might want to resort to good ol' laziness instead.

...Unless you prefer, you know, _getting shot._

**YOU** \- Aside from feeling well-rested, you also feel strangely proud of yourself. As if you've just overcome a particularly difficult challenge...

 **AUTHORITY** [Easy: Success] - We deserve to bask in this moment of respite. Slaying that beast was no easy task, and we managed to do so with impressive acuity. 

**YOU** \- Stifling a yawn, you turn towards Harry to ask him for your glasses—

**PERCEPTION (Sight)** [Trivial: Success] - But...

Harry's not there.

**YOU** \- You blink.

What?

**PERCEPTION** [Trivial: Success] - It's true.

He's not there.

**YOU** \- For a moment, you just stare incredulously at the empty space where Harry's supposed to be.

Then, you stare at your empty hand, where Harry's hand is supposed to be.

 **DRAMA** [Trivial: Failure] - I... I do not understand, dear emperor. I was certain that the lieutenant double-yefreitor was being truthful—

 **EMPATHY** [Trivial: Failure] - Your incredulity slowly festers into acute disappointment. 

**LOGIC** [Medium: Failure] - The morphine. Yes. It must be the morphine. It clouded your judgment—

**ANCIENT REPTILIAN BRAIN** \- _Don't say I didn't warn you, Kimball._

**YOU** \- What? 

**INLAND EMPIRE** [Challenging: Failure] - But the shadow slinks away as fast as it had appeared. 

**???? ??????????** \- "If you're looking for Harry, I sent him home."

 **COMPOSURE** [Legendary: Success] - Even with the shock of Harry's absence, you decidedly do _not_ get startled by the voice that suddenly speaks up from the other side of your bed. 

**PERCEPTION** [Easy: Success] - That rough, gravelly voice sounds awfully familiar. 

**ESPRIT DE CORPS** [Medium: Success] - In your entire career in the RCM, you've met only one officer who can convey both, "I am a highly trained professional," and, "I am so done with this shit," when he says something. 

**PERCEPTION (Sight)** [Legendary: Failure] - But when you turn to look at him, all you see is a blurry splotch of black and gray.

**???? ??????????** \- "Ah, right."

The hazy figure pads over to the other side of your bed. 

**PERCEPTION** [Medium: Success] - Then, your glasses are being pressed into your hands.

**YOU** \- You put them on...

And behold the mildly amused face of Lt. Jean Vicquemare.

**JEAN VICQUEMARE** \- He smirks.

"I knew that you were blind without your glasses, Kitsuragi, but I didn't know that you would be _this_ blind."

**PERCEPTION (Hearing)** [Medium: Success] - His tone is sardonic, yet playful.

 **COMPOSURE** [Heroic: Success] - He's teasing you to see if you'll lose your cool.

 **AUTHORITY** \- Don't give him the satisfaction.

**YOU** \- You meet his smirk with an even gaze.

"Hello, Lieutenant. To what do I owe the pleasure?"

 **COMPOSURE** [Medium: Success] - If Lt. Vicquemare is disappointed that you didn't rise up to his bait, he doesn't show it.

**JEAN VICQUEMARE** \- "What, can't a man visit his injured colleague in the hospital? And please, Kim," he huffs. "We've been over this. Call me Jean."

 **ESPRIT DE CORPS** [Easy: Success] - In the few months that you've spent at Precinct 41, you've developed a purely professional relationship with Lt. Vicquemare. He strikes you as a very competent police officer, albeit one who seems to be teetering on the edge of burnout.

 **LOGIC** [Easy: Success] - And everyone at the precinct knows who's responsible for that. 

**ESPRIT DE CORPS** [Easy: Success] - Nonetheless, you and the lieutenant regard each other with a mutual, yet wary, respect.

 **AUTHORITY** [Medium: Success] - Lt. Vicquemare constantly tests our authority and composure in shrewd and indirect ways. A snide, yet polite, remark. A measuring, yet subtle, gaze. 

**COMPOSURE** [Legendary: Success] - Thankfully, you've successfully rebuffed all of his attempts to get under your skin. 

**HALF-LIGHT** [Medium: Success] - He's a tricky one. 

Keep your guard up. 

**JEAN VICQUEMARE** \- Jean drags a chair to your bedside and makes himself comfortable. 

"So," he says. "How are you feeling?"

 **DRAMA** [Medium: Success] - The lieutenant seems genuinely concerned about your well-being, dear sovereign. You may answer him truthfully.

**YOU** \- Alright.

"I feel like shit, Jean," you say in a completely somber tone.

**DRAMA** [Medium: Success] - But my emperor, you do not---

 **RHETORIC** [Medium: Success] - --but that answer just sounded so much more bad-ass than, "I'm feeling pretty good, actually," so you went ahead with it. 

**JEAN VICQUEMARE** \- He barks out a laugh.

"Welcome to the club, Kitsuragi. We meet twice a week at the precinct cafeteria, and we bring our own beer. I'm sure you'll fit right in."

**PERCEPTION (Hearing)** [Medium: Success] - Amusement with a mild sprinkle of sarcasm, as is typical of the lieutenant.

**LOGIC** [Medium: Success] - Perhaps you can take advantage of the lieutenant's presence to ask him a few questions. Starting with...

 **YOU** \- "Where's Harry?"

 **COMPOSURE** [Heroic: Success] - Your voice manages to come out calm, even, and totally disinterested.

 **DRAMA** [Heroic: Success] - Keep up the excellent facade, my dear emperor.

**JEAN VICQUEMARE** \- The amused glint in his eyes shows that he's not buying your act

"Like I said, I sent him home. He hasn't left the hospital in almost two weeks, and his dirty laundry was starting to pile up here."

 **DRAMA** [Heroic: Success] - The lieutenant is concealing a portion of the truth from you, my sovereign. 

**LOGIC** [Formidable: Success] - Lt. Vicquemare sent Harry home because he wanted to spend some time with you. Alone. 

But why?

**JEAN VICQUEMARE** \- "But knowing Harry," he continues, unaware of your suspicions, "he'll probably just dump his clothes in a laundromat and come rushing back here before they're even dry."

 **YOU** \- You can't help but smile at that.

"Yeah. That sounds like him, alright," you murmur. 

**ESPRIT DE CORPS** [Easy: Success] - Despite the strange mix of wariness and respect that you feel towards Lt. Vicquemare, you cannot deny that you share a powerful affinity with him---one that is founded on the indisputable fact that despite everything that he's suffered, he still genuinely cares about Detective Du Bois.

... And so do you. 

**PERCEPTION [Hearing]** [Heroic: Success] - During the brief moment of companionable silence that ensues between you and Jean, you notice him glance at the bandages on your abdomen and the tubes at the back of your hand. 

**RHETORIC** [Challenging: Success] - It seems like he wants to ask you something, but he's thinking about how he can do so without causing you any undue stress. 

**EMPATHY** [Easy: Success] - He usually acts like a grumpy bastard, but there are moments when Jean shows a surprising capacity to be considerate and sensitive towards others. 

It's actually quite...endearing.

 **SUGGESTION** [Easy: Success] - Perhaps you would like to make things easier for the both of you by asking _him_ a question first.

 **LOGIC** [Easy: Success] - Thankfully, you have plenty of questions for him, so take your pick.

**YOU** \- "Jean, what happened while I was—"

 **LOGIC** \- In a coma?

 **INLAND EMPIRE** \- Trapped in a mysterious, alternate dimension between life and death?

 **YOU** \- "—asleep?" you finally say. 

**JEAN VICQUEMARE** \- The lieutenant taps his chin thoughtfully.

"Well, when I came in, Harry was nodding off while holding your hand—"

**COMPOSURE** [Godly: Failure] - Your face remains resolutely impassive while the tips of your traitorous ears heat up like twin suns. 

**YOU** \- You cough into your fist.

"Khm. That's... not what I meant, Lieutenant."

**JEAN VICQUEMARE** \- He resolutely does _not_ grin at your distress. 

**COMPOSURE** [Godly: Success] - ...Oh.

_Oh._

So _that's_ how it's going to be, huh?

 **AUTHORITY** [Godly: Success] - Challenge accepted.

**JEAN VICQUEMARE** \- Before you can arch your eyebrow at Jean, he suddenly becomes serious.

"To be honest, there wasn't a lot happened," he admits. "The whole squad had been pretty shaken up by what happened, but they agreed to take turns watching over you and Harry here at the hospital."

 **YOU** \- You blink at him in surprise.

 **EMPATHY** [Easy: Success] - The thought of your colleagues volunteering to stay in the hospital with you is... deeply moving. 

**ESPRIT DE CORPS** [Easy: Success] - Even though you've only been with them for such a short while, the officers of C-Wing already consider you as one of their own. 

Treasure them well.

**PERCEPTION (Hearing)** [Medium: Success] - Wait. Jean mentioned that the squad took turns watching over you and _Harry_. 

**LOGIC** [Formidable: Success] - Which means that...

 **YOU** \- You frown at Jean in disbelief.

"So... Harry was... here? All that time?"

**JEAN VICQUEMARE** \- The smirk that he gives you is small and sad.

"Yeah," he simply says.

**DRAMA** [Trivial: Success] - The truth, my emperor.

**YOU** \- You take a few moments to digest the implications of Jean's answer.

**LOGIC** [Medium: Success] - According to the doctors, you were unconscious for a week. 

**YOU** \- ... And all that time, he just stayed here. With me. 

**ESPRIT DE CORPS** [Challenging: Success] - As far as you know, the lieutenant double-yefreitor lives alone. He has no one to come home to after a long day of work, no one to soothe him when he wakes from a nightmare, no one to grieve his absence while he spends an entire week here in the hospital with you...

In many ways, you and he are the same.

**YOU** \- ... I don't deserve him.

 **EMPATHY** [Medium: Success] - Knowing Detective Du Bois, he probably believes that _he_ doesn't deserve _you_. 

**INLAND EMPIRE** [Challenging: Success] - Suddenly, a vision flashes through your mind.

A memory of a dream—a wide, blue sky, a vast, green field, a small, persistent voice calling to you from everywhere yet nowhere... 

**YOU** \- "Jean," you finally say. "I heard him." 

**JEAN VICQUEMARE** \- The lieutenant gives you a confused look.

"Pardon?" he asks.

**YOU** \- "I heard him," you repeat. "I heard Harry's voice while I was..."

 **DRAMA** [Formidable: Success] - The stunned look on the lieutenant's face is too incredulous for it to be contrived, dear sovereign.

 **AUTHORITY** \- Why did we tell him this? He will take us as for a delusional fool.

 **ESPRIT DE CORPS** [Challenging: Success] - Lt. Vicquemare has spent years putting up with Detective Du Bois' eccentric habits, which include, but are not limited to, hearing and communing with disembodied voices in his head.

If there's anyone in the squad who will take your claim seriously, it will be him.

**JEAN VICQUEMARE** \- Finally regaining his composure, Jean shakes his head incredulously.

"Huh. So that bastard was right all along..." he murmurs to himself.

**PERCEPTION (Hearing)** [Challenging: Failure] - Come again?

 **YOU** \- "Pardon?"

**JEAN VICQUEMARE** \- He catches himself and scratches his nape sheepishly.

"Uh. Well. While you were asleep, Trant told Harry that you'd still be able to hear him if he spoke to you. I thought Trant said that just to make Harry feel better and to keep him occupied..."

 **ESPRIT DE CORPS** [Easy: Success] - Among the members of Precinct 41, Civilian Volunteer Heidelstam is one of the few people who has always treated Detective Du Bois with unfailing kindness. If anyone would try to console the Detective with such a whimsical, yet plausible, idea, it would be him. 

**YOU** \- You make a mental note to thank Trant the next time you see him. 

**JEAN VICQUEMARE** \- "To be honest, I didn't think that it would actually work, but..."

He looks at you with genuine relief.

"I'm glad that it did."

**YOU** \- You return his relief with a smile.

"Me too, Jean. Me too," you say sincerely.

**JEAN VICQUEMARE** \- His gaze turns inquisitive. "Do you remember anything that Harry said?"

**YOU** \- Frowning with effort, you lean back on your pillows and try to recall your dream.

"... No," you eventually admit with a sigh. "I don't really remember what he said, only that he sounded... sad. Very sad."

 **EMPATHY** [Easy: Success] - Despondent. Desperate. Devastated. 

**JEAN VICQUEMARE** \- A forlorn look crosses the lieutenant's eyes.

"He was fucking devastated," he mutters. "That's why we had to watch over him."

**HALF-LIGHT** [Easy: Success] - The implications behind the lieutenant's words sends a chill through your spine.

 **YOU** \- What would Harry have done if I hadn't...?

**HALF-LIGHT** \- Do you really want to know the answer to that question?

 **YOU** \- ...

...

... 

... No. 

No, I don't.

**EMPATHY** [Trivial: Success] - You didn't think it was possible for you to feel even more respect and gratitude towards your colleagues, but you were sorely mistaken. 

**YOU** \- "... Thank you for taking care of Harry, Jean."

**JEAN VICQUEMARE** \- He flushes from the earnestness of your gratitude.

"I---," he coughs into his fist in a vain effort to hide his embarrassment. "It wasn't just me. The whole division pitched in---"

 **ESPRIT DE CORPS** [Easy: Success] - Still, without Lt. Vicquemare's approval, none of your colleagues would have been excused from their official duties just so they can stay here at the hospital. 

**EMPATHY** [Easy: Success] - Just let him be. Gauging from his reaction, the lieutenant would just flat-out deny any other attempts to point out that he's actually... you know, _a good person._

**YOU** \- You relent and allow Jean to recover his composure.

 **AUTHORITY** [Challenging: Success] - Yes, show him clemency.

For now.

**JEAN VICQUEMARE** \- "But anyway," he says—

 **PERCEPTION (Hearing)** [Challenging: Success] - With a tone that definitely implies that he would like to move far, far away from that previous discussion _right now_.

 **JEAN VICQUEMARE** \- "Kim, I actually dropped by today because I wanted to debrief you about the Missing Filament case."

 **DRAMA** [Easy: Success] - Finally, the lieutenant shows his true intentions towards your regal self, my lord.

 **JEAN VICQUEMARE** \- "... But only if you feel up to it, of course."

**AUTHORITY** \- Is he questioning our endurance?

 **EMPATHY** [Easy: Success] - No, he's genuinely being considerate, you warfreak, so tone it down.

**YOU** \- You nod. "Go ahead, Jean. I'd appreciate a debriefing, actually."

 **ENDURANCE** [Legendary: Failure] - ... As long as it takes up only around an hour and a half, because that's how long you have before your body shuts down again.

 **LOGIC** \- Given the amount of painkillers that have been running through your system for the past two weeks, you're worried that you'll start forgetting important details about what happened in the tunnel.

 **INLAND EMPIRE** \- And about the mysterious dream that you had...

 **ELECTROCHEMISTRY** \- But you're also worried that you'll get hooked on these sweet, sweet opioids...

**VOLITION** [Godly: Success] - You won't.

**JEAN VICQUEMARE** \- He takes out a notebook and clicks his pen.

"Good. But let me know if you need to take a break at any point, all right?"

**EMPATHY** [Easy: Success] - Another small, unexpected gesture of thoughtfulness from the lieutenant.

 **YOU** \- Is this the same guy who keeps on calling Harry "shitkid"? Does he have multiple personalities too?

 **EMPATHY** [Challenging: Success] - No. He's just more comfortable acting like a dick most of the time because it fits his abysmal self-image. 

**JEAN VICQUEMARE -** "Let's cut to the chase," he says, shaking you out from your reverie.

"Do you remember what happened to the filament that you and Harry were supposed to retrieve?"

**INLAND EMPIRE** [Challenging: Success] - The impossible password. The sound of a printer spitting out one... two... three... _four_ sheets full of names—

A masked goon holding a sheaf of papers—

His head, exploding in a shower of blood and gore—

**ENDURANCE** \- A sudden bout of nausea roils through your gut. 

**LOGIC** [Medium: Success] - In his panic to get you out of that tunnel, it is highly likely that Detective Du Bois completely forgot to retrieve the filament. 

And those papers.

Which means that...

**YOU** \- "We left it behind," you admit quietly. "In the tunnel."

**JEAN VICQUEMARE** \- To your surprise, Jean doesn't look distressed at all to hear this news. Instead, he just nods calmly and jots something down in his notebook.

"Noted. And did the perps gain access to the information that was stored within the filament?" he asks. 

**YOU** \- You choose to remain stoically silent in the face of Jean's question. 

**ESPRIT DE CORPS** [Easy: Success] - By giving those goons access to the filament, Detective du Bois committed several grave offenses against the RCM. First, he endangered the lives of all of the officers on that list. Second, he endangered the lives of their families and countless other civilians who would be caught in the crossfire. Finally, he single-handedly jeopardized the entirety of RCM's covert operations within the two largest drug cartels in Jamrock, which have taken years of painstaking hard work and sacrifice from countless officers... 

For those offenses, Detective Du Bois would, at the very least, be stripped of his badge and thrown to jail. In the miraculous chance that he would be allowed to go free, it would only be a matter of time before someone--either a vengeful relative or one of the cartels---sends a contract killer after him to finish the job that the scarred woman failed to accomplish.

 **VOLITION** [Godly: Success] - Under no circumstances must Lt. Vicquemare find out about what Detective Du Bois has done. 

**DRAMA** [Godly: Success] - You are willing to lie to the lieutenant's grumpy face, if necessary. 

**JEAN VICQUEMARE** \- Thankfully, he resolves your moral dilemma for you.

"Let me guess," he says, tapping his pen against his chin. "They forced Harry to give them the password by shooting you in the stomach—"

**YOU** \- Your eyes widen in surprise.

 **LOGIC** \- That was... a _very_ impressive deduction.

**JEAN VICQUEMARE** \- "—and the password that Harry gave them was his fucking birthday."

**YOU** \- You stare at him incredulously.

"Yes... How did you--"

**JEAN VICQUEMARE** \- He shrugs.

"Trant got to debrief Harry last week, and he told me everything that Harry said."

**LOGIC** \- Ah. 

**EMPATHY** \- Your budding admiration for Lt. Vicquemare's detective skills goes flying out the window.

 **YOU** \- But if Jean knows all of that...

 **LOGIC** [Easy: Success]- ...Then why hasn't he put Detective Du Bois under arrest? 

**JEAN VICQUEMARE** \- "You're probably thinking about why we haven't put Harry under court martial for allowing criminals to gain access to such confidential data."

 **YOU** \- You blink at him.

 **EMPATHY** \- You reel back your budding admiration for the lieutenant's detective skills from the imaginary window that they flew out from.

**YOU** \- You nod cautiously at him. 

**JEAN VICQUEMARE** \- In response to your wariness, he just smirks wryly at you. 

"Kitsuragi," he says evenly, "I'll be the first person to admit that before the shitshow in Martinaise, Harry was a walking nuclear disaster---"

 **COMPOSURE** [Legendary: Success] - You stifle a flinch. 

**JEAN VICQUEMARE** \- "But I'll also be the first one to say that Harrier Du Bois was—and still is—the most brilliant son-of-a-bitch that I've ever had the displeasure of working with."

 **DRAMA** [Challenging: Success] - He speaks the truth, my lord. 

**YOU** \- You try to comprehend what Jean is trying to say.

 **LOGIC** [Godly: Failure] - He hasn't given enough information for you to make a sound deduction, though. 

Ask him to throw you a bone or two.

 **YOU** \- "I'm afraid I don't understand, Jean."

**JEAN VICQUEMARE** \- He closes his notebook and leans forward, resting his elbows on his knees.

 **EMPATHY** [Medium: Success] - The lieutenant is eager to tell you about this.

 **LOGIC** \- And you are eager to hear what he has to say. 

**JEAN VICQUEMARE** \- "When Headquarters asked Harry to make that filament, he already had his first two blackouts. He wanted to secure the data in the best possible way, but he was also worried that he'd lose access to the data if he blacked out again."

**LOGIC** [Heroic: Success] - As these new pieces of information slot neatly into your mind, a deduction begins to take shape...

 **YOU** \- "... Which was why Harry decided to use a password that he could easily remember."

**JEAN VICQUEMARE** \- The lieutenant gives you a look of frank admiration.

 **AUTHORITY** [Heroic: Success] - We have impressed him. 

We are one step closer to total domination. 

**JEAN VICQUEMARE** \- He nods to confirm your suspicions. 

"Precisely. That's why he used his fucking birthday as the password."

**LOGIC** [Godly: Failure] - Alright, you've made sense of one piece of the puzzle, but what about the rest?

 **YOU** \- You frown. "But...having a password like that would make the data easier to compromise, right?"

**JEAN VICQUEMARE** \- "Correct," he says. "Which is why Harry put another layer of security onto the filament."

**YOU** \- Wait, what?

 **LOGIC** [Legendary: Success] - ... Oh.

Oh, that's _brilliant_.

**YOU** \- "The filament has _two_ passwords," you conclude in an awed voice.

**JEAN VICQUEMARE** \- He gives you an impressed grin.

"Damn, Kitsuragi. No wonder they call you the ace of the 57th. Yeah, that's right---Harry put two passwords on the filament." 

**COMPOSURE** [Legendary: Success] - You resist the urge to preen at the lieutenant's praise. 

**YOU** \- Ace's High!

 **LOGIC** [Legendary: Success] - Ace's High! 

**INTERFACING** [Heroic: Success] - While your knowledge about radiocomputers is a slightly outdated, you've heard about special filaments that were secured using a two-step method of authentication, which required users to give two different passwords before they could fully access the data contained within the filament.

You just never imagined that the RCM would have access to that kind of technology.

 **LOGIC** [Godly: Failure] - But... the goons were still able to access the data within the filament. So what are you still missing?

**YOU** \- "So what was the data that the suspects were able to access using Harry's password?"

**JEAN VICQUEMARE** \- At your question, the grin on his face becomes so impish that you instinctively lean closer to him, eager to hear what he has to say. 

"That's the best part," he says conspiratorially. "When Harry made that filament, he insisted on storing _two_ sets of data inside it. The first set could be accessed by any of the two passwords, while the second set could only be accessed by providing both passwords."

**YOU** \- With bated breath, you wait for him to continue. 

**JEAN VICQUEMARE** \- "So, being the brilliant bastard that he was, Harry went ahead and asked Headquarters for..."

He pauses for effect.

**COMPOSURE** [Legendary: Success] - You give him a deadpan look.

 **YOU** \- "Lieutenant. Please," you say in a mildly affronted tone.

 **AUTHORITY** [Legendary: Success] - If he thinks that we would fall prey to the sheer suspense that he is deliberately building, then the lieutenant is sorely mistaken.

**JEAN VICQUEMARE** \- He smirks at your nonchalance.

"...the names of all RCM officers who've turned traitor and defected to the drug cartels," he finishes.

**YOU** \- Ah.

 **LOGIC** [Easy: Success] - Checkmate. 

**YOU** \- "So when Harry gave the suspects the password, they were only able to access the first set of data, which was—"

**JEAN VICQUEMARE** \- "A list of the former cops who're now their loyal henchmen."

**YOU** \- You slump back to your bed, marveling at the brilliance of that sleight of hand. 

**ENCYCLOPEDIA** [Medium: Success] - La Puta Madre is notorious for hiring former narcotics officers to guard his poppy fields in the Villalobos District.

 **LOGIC** [Formidable: Success] - If Harry's ploy had succeeded, then the scarred woman would have launched an internal massacre that would have hamstrung the entire cartel's operations.

A similar result would have occurred if the list had ended up with The Mazda, only this time, the massacre would happen during an all-out war between the two cartels. 

In short, that first list would have majestically fucked up the biggest players in the Jamrock's drug trade. 

**YOU** \- What was Harry thinking?

**HALF-LIGHT** [Formidable: Success] - Probably something like, "If I'm going to get killed for this, then I'm going to take as many of you crazy bastards as I can down to hell with me."

 **YOU** \- That's...

That's so---

 **AUTHORITY** [Formidable: Success] - _Bad-ass_.

 **HALF-LIGHT** [Formidable: Success] - _Totally_ bad-ass. 

**ELECTROCHEMISTRY** [Heroic: Success] - And devastatingly _sexy_. 

**VOLITION** \- Would you like me to shut him up?

 **YOU** \- ... No. I... uh.

Khm.

**ELECTROCHEMISTRY** [Heroic: Success] - Aww, heck yeah!!!

**JEAN VICQUEMARE** \- He watches you make the connections in your head with a delighted look on his face. 

"So you see," he says. "Harry might have been a disaster, but he was still a damn good cop. He wasn't willing to expose our agents to that much risk without making sure that the bad guys got a fatal dose of their own fucking medicine first."

 **AUTHORITY** [Heroic: Success] - It seems that there is more to that bumbling detective than meets the eye. 

Perhaps he _is_ worthy of our solicitude.

**LOGIC** [Medium: Success] - If you're ready to redirect your blood flow back to your brain--

 **ELECTROCHEMISTRY** [Legendary: Failure] - But we're _finally_ getting some action down here!!!

 **LOGIC** [Medium: Success] - ---you still have one more question that you'd like to ask the lieutenant. 

**YOU** \- Ah. Right.

"Did Harry know the second password too?" you ask Jean. 

**JEAN VICQUEMARE** \- He shakes his head. "No. He thought that it would be too risky if he knew both of them, so he asked someone else to come up with the second password and remember it."

**LOGIC** [Easy: Success] - Connect the dots, champ.

 **YOU** \- "That way, if one of them gets compromised, the cartels would only get the first list."

 **JEAN VICQUEMARE** \- "That's right," he says with a wolfish grin.

 **VOLITION** [Godly: Failure] - You're not entirely sure whether he'll be willing to answer your next question, but your curiosity gets the better of you.

**YOU** \- "So who knows the second password?"

**JEAN VICQUEMARE** \- The lieutenant leans back on his chair and gives you a smug, secretive smile. 

"Sorry, Lieutenant, but that's classified information."

**LOGIC** [Legendary: Success] - It's him.

 **ESPRIT DE CORPS** [Legendary: Success] - It's him.

 **DRAMA** [Legendary: Success] - 'Tis _definitely_ him, dear sovereign.

 **AUTHORITY** \- It is your personal duty to _smite_ that smug smile from the lieutenant's face by telling him that _we_ know that _he_ knows the second password. 

**RHETORIC** [Heroic: Success] - Ah, but where would the fun be in that? Why not take the...subtle route? Spar with him for a bit. Play along. 

**AUTHORITY** [Legendary: Success] - Then _crush him completely_. 

**EMPATHY** [Legendary: Failure] - ...You guys are insane. 

**YOU** \- "I understand, Jean," you say with a curt nod. "We have to protect the identity of that second person for the sake of the data, after all."

 **JEAN VICQUEMARE** \- He arches an eyebrow at you, but says nothing. 

**EMPATHY** [Medium: Success] - He's not sure what you're playing at, but he's curious to see where you're going with this.

**YOU** \- "But if I had to guess," you continue pensively, "that person would have to be someone whom Harry trusts very much..."

 **JEAN VICQUEMARE** \- His face remains carefully blank.

**YOU** \- "They'd also have to be of a similar, if not higher, rank than Harry to be able to have access to such sensitive data..."

 **JEAN VICQUEMARE** \- The lieutenant crosses his arms and narrows his eyes at you, but stays silent.

**YOU** \- "They'd also have to be tough, someone who wouldn't break easily if the cartels somehow manage to catch them," you say.

 **PERCEPTION (Sight)** [Challenging: Success] - The lieutenant preens very, very slightly at that.

**YOU** \- "Given all of this, there's only one person who fits the bill. Namely---"

 **JEAN VICQUEMARE** \- The lieutenant leans forward very, very slightly in anticipation...

**RHETORIC** [Legendary: Success] - Spring the trap.

**YOU** \- "---Captain Pryce," you finally say.

**JEAN VICQUEMARE** \- He almost jumps out of his seat in indignation.

"What?! No, it's---"

Then, he freezes.

**YOU** \- Do I have a smug smile on my face?

 **COMPOSURE** [Legendary: Success] - Yes.

 **VOLITION** [Legendary: Success] - Absolutely.

 **AUTHORITY** [Godly: Success] - _Victory_.

**JEAN VICQUEMARE** \- He stares at your smug smile with an unreadable expression on his face.

 **EMPATHY** [Formidable: Success] - Embarrassment. Indignation. Grudging admiration. 

**RHETORIC** \- Do you want to twist the knife?

 **YOU** \- Sure.

 **AUTHORITY** [Legendary: Success] - Why not.

**YOU** \- You give him an innocent look. 

"I'm sorry, Lieutenant. Were you about to say something?"

**JEAN VICQUEMARE** \- He decidedly does _not_ wince at your question. 

**PERCEPTION (Sight)** [Formidable: Success] - Incoming message from the lieutenant's glare. 

**EMPATHY** [Formidable: Success] - It reads...

" _You win this time, you smug bastard_."

**YOU** \- Ace's Low!

 **RHETORIC** [Legendary: Success] - Ace's Low!

**JEAN VICQUEMARE** \- After glaring at you for a few more seconds, he opens his notebook and looks over his notes again. 

"Well, that wraps up the debriefing, Lieutenant," he says. "Unless you have anything else that you wanted to add...?"

**YOU** \- Do I?

 **INLAND EMPIRE** [Formidable: Success] - _The masked goon's head exploding in a shower of blood and gore..._

 **EMPATHY** \- The memory promptly extinguishes your elation like a torrent of ice-cold water. 

**YOU** \- You look down at your hands.

"Jean. I..." 

**JEAN VICQUEMARE** \- He looks at you attentively.

**YOU** \- "I killed someone in that tunnel," you finally confess.

**JEAN VICQUEMARE** \- He doesn't seem too bothered by that.

"Was it the fucking bastard who was about to shoot Harry?"

**YOU** \- You nod.

**JEAN VICQUEMARE** \- He looks at you for a long while. 

Then...

"Excellent work, Lieutenant."

**EMPATHY** [Heroic: Success] - _"Thank you for saving his life,"_ the lieutenant deliberately does not say. 

**YOU** \- _"You're welcome,"_ you purposefully do not reply. 

**JEAN VICQUEMARE** \- He sighs and keeps his notebook.

"What a shitshow, huh?" he mutters.

**YOU** \- You let out a tired sigh. 

"Yeah... It really was."

**JEAN VICQUEMARE** \- He hesitates for a few seconds.

Then, he looks down at the floor.

"I'm glad you woke up, Kim," he says quietly. 

**YOU** \- You blink in surprise. 

**EMPATHY** [Legendary: Success] - It...took a lot out of him to admit that.

**JEAN VICQUEMARE** \- He rubs his hands anxiously while still avoiding your gaze.

"When you flatlined, I---"

He cuts off.

**YOU** \- You let him take his time.

**JEAN VICQUEMARE** \- He takes a deep breath to calm himself.

"...I had to pin him down," he says, in a rough voice. "Bastard actually smacked me on the face with his elbow---" A single, harsh laugh. 

**PERCEPTION (Sight)** [Challenging: Success] - It's only now that you notice the fading bruise on his left cheek.

**JEAN VICQUEMARE** \- He remains silent for a while.

Then...

"You should have heard him howl, Kim," he says quietly.

**HALF-LIGHT** [Legendary: Failure] - A chill runs through your spine.

 **PAIN THRESHOLD** [Legendary: Failure] - A cold fist clenches your heart.

**YOU** \- "... Jean."

**JEAN VICQUEMARE** \- He refuses to meet your gaze. 

He continues to rub his hands.

**YOU** \- "... Jean," you say louder, but still as gently as you can.

**JEAN VICQUEMARE** \- When he finally looks up at you, you're not startled at all by the haunted look in his eyes.

 **COMPOSURE** [Heroic: Success] - This is the face of a man who's lived through hell. 

**INLAND EMPIRE** [Heroic: Success] - Those are the eyes of a man who has gone through hell again, and again, and again, every night for the past week. 

**YOU** \- ... How do I help him?

 **EMPATHY** [Heroic: Success] - You can't.

Because you can't erase those memories from his mind.

...But maybe, just maybe...

You can remind him that he's no longer in that hell anymore.

**YOU** \- You reach out...

... and put a hand on his shoulder.

**JEAN VICQUEMARE** \- He flinches at your touch---

But he doesn't push you away.

**YOU** \- "Jean..."

 **COMPOSURE** [Legendary: Success] - You mentally brace yourself for what you're about to say.

 **YOU** \- "... I died."

**JEAN VICQUEMARE** \- That gets his attention.

He whips his head up to stare at you with a dumbstruck look on his face.

**YOU** \- "I was dead for five minutes," you tell him calmly. 

Slowly, you draw back your hand from his shoulder...

**COMPOSURE** [Godly: Failure] - ...because you don't want him to notice that your hand’s starting to tremble.

**YOU** \- "I don't really remember what happened during those five minutes---"

**INLAND EMPIRE** [Legendary: Success] - _Darkness. Excruciating pain. A pair of bright, shining lungs---_

**YOU** \- "... But I do remember one thing."

**JEAN VICQUEMARE** \- He waits for you to continue.

**YOU** \- You take a deep breath to gather your wits about you.

"I remember--"

**INLAND EMPIRE** [Legendary: Success] - _"KIM!!!!!!!"_

**YOU** \- "---wanting to see Harry again."

**COMPOSURE** [Legendary: Success] - The lieutenant marvels at how you're able to say all of this so calmly.

Because he's surely, but quietly, _losing his shit_.

**YOU** \- "But I couldn't," you continue.

"No matter how badly I wanted to, I just... couldn't be with him."

**EMPATHY** [Godly: Success] - Now say something uplifting before the lieutenant implodes on himself.

**YOU** \- "But I'm so glad to hear that during those five minutes when I couldn't be with Harry..."

You look straight at Jean.

"... There was someone else with him."

**PERCEPTION (Hearing)** [Challenging: Success] - You hear Jean's breath hitch in his throat.

 **EMPATHY** [Legendary: Success] - He's silently, _desperately_ begging for you to stop, because every word that you say pierces through him like shrapnel from a grenade.

He is not used to gratitude or kindness.

He cannot bear them.

**YOU** \- You mercilessly press on.

"Someone who stayed with him when the darkness was at its worst. Someone who stayed with him even after he smacked them in the face---"

**JEAN VICQUEMARE** \- The laugh that erupts from him is surprised, and just a little bit crazed.

**YOU** \- "---Someone who _would_ have stayed with him, even if..."

You pause...

**COMPOSURE** [Legendary: Success] - ...to rapidly blink away the wetness from your eyes.

**YOU** \- "Even if... I'd never woken up."

**JEAN VICQUEMARE** \- He stares at you.

**YOU** \- You stare back at him.

**EMPATHY** [Godly: Success] - He's devastated.

Completely, utterly devastated.

 **ESPRIT DE CORPS** [Legendary: Success] - Only one other person has made Lt. Vicquemare completely lose his shit like this. 

He now firmly believes that you and that other person should just go and get fucking married already.

**YOU** \- You clear your throat to break the heavy silence that's descended between you and Jean.

"I, uh... I'm sorry if that made you feel uncomfortable--"

**JEAN VICQUEMARE** \- He snaps out of his stupor.

"No, no," he quickly says. "I..."

He lapses into a thoughtful silence.

"... Thank you. Kim." he eventually says.

**DRAMA** [Easy: Success] - Every word meant, sovereign.

 **YOU** \- You give him a small, grateful smile.

"No. Thank _you_ , Jean," you say sincerely.

**COMPOSURE** [Formidable: Success] - The darkness behind the lieutenant's eyes seems to have been dispelled by your words. He looks... lighter now. As if a heavy weight has been lifted from his shoulders and borne away by a gentle hand...

**EMPATHY** \- Do... 

Do I get an Ace's High?

 **YOU** \- ... Yes.

Yes, you do.

**JEAN VICQUEMARE** \- He leans back in his chair with a slightly disoriented look on his face.

Then, he seems to remember something.

"Hey, Kim," he says. "Did Harry get to tell you about---?"

**PERCEPTION (Hearing)** [Challenging: Success] - But before Jean can finish his question, you hear someone running through the corridor outside---

**JEAN VICQUEMARE** \- He sighs.

"Speaking of the shitkid," he mutters.

**PERCEPTION (Hearing)** [Challenging: Success] - ---Then the door to your room bangs open. 

**HARRY DU BOIS** \- " _KIM_ I'm so sorry Jean forced me to go home and--"

Harry abruptly stops his word vomit when he sees you and Jean staring at him.

**JEAN VICQUEMARE** \- He arches his eyebrow at Harry.

**COMPOSURE** [Formidable: Success] - Uh oh.

 **EMPATHY** [Formidable: Success] - _S_ _omeone's_ in trouble.

 **YOU** \- You give Harry a small wave and a pitying look.

**JEAN VICQUEMARE** \- Jean looks at Harry.

Then, he looks at the still-wet pile of laundry that's tucked into the bag that Harry's carrying. 

**HARRY DU BOIS** \- Harry visibly gulps in fear.

**AUTHORITY** \- ... Is this the same man who concocted that brilliant plan to make his enemies murder each other in order to protect his comrades?

 **EMPATHY** [Legendary: Success] - Just... give him a chance. This isn't exactly his crowning moment of glory. 

**JEAN VICQUEMARE** \- But instead of giving Harry a tongue-lashing for returning to the hospital so quickly, Jean just stands up and straightens his uniform.

"Thank you for the debriefing, Lieutenant Kitsuragi," he says, while keeping a withering glare leveled at Harry. "I wish you a smooth and speedy recovery."

**REACTION SPEED** [Medium: Success] - You're about to thank him---

 **JEAN VICQUEMARE** \- ---But he's already striding towards the door and moving past Harry.

**PERCEPTION (Hearing)** [Legendary: Success] - As Jean walks past Harry, you swear you heard him mutter something like, "You'd better not fuck this up, shitkid, or there's going to be hell to pay."

**HARRY DU BOIS** \- Harry winces so violently that he practically leaps away from Jean.

**YOU** \- Did Jean just...

 **HALF-LIGHT** [Formidable: Success] - ...threaten Harry for your sake?

Yes. Yes, he did.

**ESPRIT DE CORPS** [Godly: Success] - Lt. Vicquemare trusts you.

He _truly_ trusts you.

**HARRY DU BOIS** \- Once he's sure that Jean isn't coming back, Harry breathes out a sigh of relief and walks over to your bedside. 

"Sorry, Kim. I wasn't planning on leaving at all, but Jean---"

**YOU** \- You project all of the relief and joy that you're currently feeling into the smile that you give him.

"It's alright, Harry. Welcome back."

**HARRY DU BOIS** \- He stops in his tracks at the sight of your smile.

 **AUTHORITY** [Legendary: Success] - Interesting. Our smile has the exact same paralyzing effect on the detective as our indomitable brow.

We will take note of this new weapon for future use. 

**EMPATHY** [Heroic: Success] - I think they cause... erm, _different_ kinds of paralysis though. 

**PERCEPTION (Sight)** [Formidable: Success] - Harry's looking at you with _that_ look on his face again.

 **YOU** \- What kind of look?

 **COMPOSURE** [Godly: Failure] - The exact same look that you're giving him right now, you hopeless sap.

 **ELECTROCHEMISTRY** [Legendary: Success] - See? 

_Mutually_ fucked. 

**HARRY DU BOIS** \- He quickly drops off the laundry bag at his cot and hurries over to sit in chair that Jean left by your bedside.

 **VOLITION** \- Should you...?

 **YOU** \- **_Yes_**.

... I mean.

Yes. 

**VOLITION** [Easy: Success] - You reach out to him---

 **HARRY DU BOIS** \- But this time, instead of just holding your hand, he takes it---

 **ELECTROCHEMISTRY** [Legendary: Success] - _Oh my **god** he's gonna do it **again**_ \---

 **HARRY DU BOIS** \- ---and presses his lips to your knuckles.

**YOU** \- ... Ears?

 **COMPOSURE** [Impossible: Failure] - Toasted.

**HARRY DU BOIS** \- He doesn't let go of your hand afterwards, and the smile on his face---

 **CONCEPTUALIZATION** [Legendary: Success] - ---is brighter than a thousand glowing lungs.

**LOGIC** [Impossible: Failure] - All systems are down! I repeat, _all systems are down!_

 **ELECTROCHEMISTRY** [Godly: Success] - Oh no, baby, all systems are _up_ and _running_!!!

**PERCEPTION (Hearing)** [Legendary: Success] - Settle down, boys! He's saying something!

 **HARRY DU BOIS** \- "So how did the debriefing with Jean go?" he asks you, as if he didn't just fry all of your brain cells by kissing your hand.

**LOGIC** [Legendary: Success] - Okay, your vocal cords are hooked back up to your brain, so you should be able to produce sentences again.

 **YOU** \- "It went well," you say.

 **COMPOSURE** [Godly: Success] - Even you're impressed by how calm your voice sounds after what Harry just did.

**HARRY DU BOIS** \- He peers at you worriedly.

"He, uh... He didn't stress you out too much, did he? Jean tends to get a bit intense during debriefings---"

 **ESPRIT DE CORPS** [Heroic: Success] - Detective Du Bois is undoubtedly having flashbacks of his own debriefings with Lt. Vicquemare, all of which tended to be less...pleasant than the one that you experienced.

 **YOU** \- You shake your head to reassure him. 

"No, Harry, he didn't stress me out. He was pretty considerate, actually."

**PERCEPTION (Sight)** [Easy: Success] - A dumbfounded expression smacks itself onto Harry's face.

 **EMPATHY** [Formidable: Success] - He's having a very, very difficult time applying the word "considerate" to Lt. Vicquemare.

**YOU** \- "Jean helped me piece together what happened back in the tunnel," you say, "which was good, since I was starting to forget bits and pieces of it..."

 **PERCEPTION** [Easy: Success] - Harry's grip suddenly tightens around your hand.

 **HARRY DU BOIS** \- He looks stricken.

"You were... starting to forget what happened?" he asks in a small, panicked voice.

**EMPATHY** [Godly: Failure] - Why's he so shaken up?

 **YOU** \- You blink at him.

"Yes, but I still remember most of it---"

**HARRY DU BOIS** \- He looks like he desperately wants to ask you something.

 **EMPATHY** [Legendary: Success] - ... But he's afraid of what your answer might be. 

**LOGIC** [Formidable: Success] - Maybe it has something to do with the question that Jean was about to ask before Harry arrived?

Something about whether Harry was able to tell you about--- well, _something_. 

**SUGGESTION** [Medium: Success] - Time to get to the bottom of this. See if you can make Harry tell you what this is all about.

**YOU** \- "Harry..." You squeeze his hand.

"Are you worried that I've forgotten about something?"

 **PERCEPTION** [Medium: Success] - His hand tenses up even more against yours.

 **LOGIC** [Easy: Success] - _Bingo._

**HARRY DU BOIS** \- He stays silent for a few more seconds. 

Then, he sits up straighter in his chair and looks at you resolutely.

**COMPOSURE** [Medium: Success] - He looks like he's made up his mind about something. 

**YOU** \- You eagerly wait for him to speak.

**HARRY DU BOIS** \- "Kim..."

 **ELECTROCHEMISTRY** \- _"Will you marry me?"_

 **VOLITION** [Godly: Success] - Shutting him up.

Right.

_Now._

**HARRY DU BOIS** \- "While I was... uh, carrying you out of the tunnel..."

His thumb absently runs across the back of your knuckles.

 **ELECTROCHEMISTRY** \- A warm shudder runs through your spine.

**HARRY DU BOIS** \- "You uh, told me something. Do you... remember what it was?"

 **EMPATHY** [Heroic: Success] - He desperately, _desperately_ hopes that you do. 

**YOU** \- You do your best to remember what happened...

**INLAND EMPIRE** [Challenging: Success] - _Heavy darkness all around you. Harry's warm, warm back._

_"Kim, we're—we're almost there."_

**YOU** \- Is there anything else?

**INLAND EMPIRE** [Godly: Failure] - ...Sadly, no. 

The rest of the memory has been consigned to oblivion. 

**YOU** \- You sigh and shake your head.

"I'm sorry, Harry. I---"

 **COMPOSURE** [Challenging: Success] - His shoulders slump in dejection.

 **EMPATHY** [Legendary: Success] - ... You made him feel bad.

You...

_Made him feel bad._

**YOU** \- You're taken aback by how horrible this makes you feel. 

**HARRY DU BOIS** \- But before you can apologize to him again, Harry seems to recover and forces a smile on his face.

 **PAIN THRESHOLD** [Legendary: Failure] - How can a smile look so _painful_?!

 **HARRY DU BOIS** \- "It's okay, Kim---"

 **DRAMA** [Heroic: Success] - No, my emperor.

It is decidedly _not_ okay. 

**HARRY DU BOIS** \- "---It was..."

 **DRAMA** [Heroic: Success] - If the esteemed detective utters the word "nothing", my lord, then I humbly request that you punch him in the face for having the nerve to lie to us.

**HARRY DU BOIS** \- Suddenly...

He freezes.

**YOU** \- You stare at him in confusion

What's going on?

 **LOGIC** [Heroic: Success] - If you had to hazard a guess...

It looks like he's having an emergency conference with the voices in his head.

**YOU** \- Suddenly, you feel all of the voices inside _your_ head move towards the part of your brain that's directly behind your eyes.

... Are you guys going to have a conference too?

 **LOGIC** \- No, we're just going to watch the action from afar.

 **EMPATHY** \- Do you think they can hear us when we talk?

 **ELECTROCHEMISTRY** \- I hope so! Can you imagine the _wild_ parties we could have???

 **VOLITION** \- If that means that there will be _two_ of you around, then no thank you. 

**LOGIC** \- It's not even _possible_ to cross over into another person's head---

 **AUTHORITY** [Godly: Success] - Quiet. 

All of the other voices obediently shut up. 

**PERCEPTION** **(Sight)** [Easy: Success]- In the attentive silence that ensues within your mind, you suddenly become aware of the crimson flush that's slowly creeping up on Harry's face... 

**COMPOSURE** [Impossible: Failure] - ... And of the rapid pounding of your own heart. 

**HARRY DU BOIS** \- Then...

His face lights up. 

"Ah, fuck it," he mutters.

He leans forward---

**YOU** \- ---And you meet him halfway. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1) Thanks to [Darelz](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Darelz/pseuds/Darelz) and [pikalex](https://archiveofourown.org/users/pikalex88/pseuds/pikalex88) for beta reading this chapter!
> 
> 2) Writing Kim's POV using the voices has ruined me for life.
> 
> Harry, ILY, but... _waves arms at Kim's general direction while making incoherent wailing sounds_
> 
> 3) While I've scratched the surface of the possible dynamics between Jean and Kim in [FF](https://archiveofourown.org/works/22843702/chapters/54596530) and [RR](https://archiveofourown.org/works/22524139/chapters/53822176), this chapter gave me the opportunity to really dive in _deep_ and examine how these two characters would relate to each other. I was happily surprised by what I found, and I'm really excited to see how other writers and/or the next part of the game (crosses fingers) will handle the Jean-Kim-Harry dynamic!
> 
> Two more chapters to go.
> 
> Thank you all for reading! <3


	14. The Aftermath

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: This chapter contains quite a few instances of old men happily making out, so you might not want to read this at work (you know who you are). 
> 
> With that said, let's get on with the show!

**_BANG!_ **

**YOU** – You wake up with a start.

 **PERCEPTION** [Legendary: Failure] – _It's dark so dark too dark---_

 **INLAND EMPIRE** [Legendary: Failure] – _Blood in your mouth blood on your hands blood on the floor---_

 **HALF-LIGHT** [Legendary: Success] – _There in the shadows it’s her it’s her IT’S---_

**AUTHORITY** [Godly: Success] – **Pull your shit together, Lieutenant.**

**YOU** – And just like that,

it stops.

**COMPOSURE** [Impossible: Failure] – You’re drenched in cold sweat. Your whole body’s trembling. You’re breathing in ragged gasps---

 **PERCEPTION** [Easy: Success] – Suddenly, a strong, hairy arm wraps itself around your waist.

**HARRY DU BOIS** – “Kim?” he murmurs sleepily.

 **COMPOSURE** [Challenging: Success] – The sound of Harry's voice sends waves of relief crashing through your frazzled mind.

 **VOLITION** [Godly: Failure] – You instinctively reach down and grip his hand to steady yourself.

**HARRY DU BOIS** – He squeezes your hand and gently nuzzles the back of your neck.

“Nightmare?” he asks quietly.

 **COMPOSURE** [Legendary: Failure] – You swallow the lump in your throat.

 **YOU** – “Yeah,” you whisper hoarsely.

**LOGIC** [Heroic: Success] – It has been four months since your ordeal in the tunnel, and three months since you’ve been released from the hospital. Before you were discharged, the doctors briefed you about what you might face during your recovery—pain, crippling exhaustion, anxiety.

But they never warned you about the nightmares.

 **INLAND EMPIRE** [Legendary: Success] – They attack in unpredictable bursts. There are weeks when spare you entirely, and you are blessed with hours of deep, uninterrupted sleep.

But there are also weeks where they plague you every night, plunging you back into the darkness of the tunnel, back into that terrifying moment when the bullet buries itself into your flesh and the world explodes in white-hot agony--- 

**COMPOSURE** [Legendary: Failure] – These are the nights where you jolt awake, your heart pounding in panic, your eyes wet with tears, your mind paralyzed with fear---

But these are also the nights when Harry pulls you back from the abyss with his voice, his touch, his warm, solid presence... 

**ELECTROCHEMISTRY** [Legendary: Success] – When he speaks to you, your heart thrums with longing. When he touches you, your skin blooms with heat. When he kisses you---

 **INLAND EMPIRE** [Legendary: Success] - The darkness flees.

**HARRY DU BOIS** – He draws up your linked hands to your chest and pulls you closer until you are snugly spooned against him. 

“I’m here,” he says, his voice a low, gentle rumble that travels through your back and into your heart.

**YOU** \- You close your eyes and try to anchor your senses back to reality. 

**PERCEPTION** [Challenging: Success] - As your mind begins to calm down, you become aware of several things: his warm, tickling breath against your nape; the soothing rise and fall of his chest against your back; the steady, synchronized beating of your hearts...

 **YOU** \- Clutching his hand, you draw his arm tighter around you...

 **HARRY DU BOIS** \- ...and he acquiesces happily, rubbing his thumb in slow, gentle strokes across your knuckles.

**YOU** \- How have I lived without this?

 **EMPATHY** \- You closed off your heart to anyone who dared approach you with intentions of companionship and intimacy.

 **VOLITION** \- You denied yourself with the asceticism of a Dolorian hermit, out of the fear that, just like so, so many, you will succumb to your own base desires. 

**ESPRIT DE CORPS** \- You erected a fortress of professionalism and locked away your personal life behind its cold, iron walls.

 **AUTHORITY** \- You became the sovereign of your own soul, unwilling to relinquish this self-dominion to the unpredictable caprices of another, fallible mortal being.

Until now, that is.

**HARRY DU BOIS** \- You feel his lips quirk up against your nape. 

"They talking to you?" he murmurs.

 **YOU** \- Even though you're facing away from him, you cannot help but smile at his question.

"Yeah, they are," you whisper back to him. 

**EMPATHY** [Legendary: Success] - The nerve! _His_ voices are talking to him now too!

 **PERCEPTION** [Godly: Failure] - Well, they seem to be doing a much _quieter_ job at it, so stop hollering. 

**ELECTROCHEMISTRY** \- Hey, other-me! Tell that doofus that we should totally start necking already---

 **VOLITION** [Godly: Success] - Other-me, shut up your other-him in...Three.

Two.

One.

 **ELECTROCHEMISTRY** [Legendary: Failure] - _Dammit_!!!!!

**HARRY DU BOIS** \- "Lemme guess," he sighs. "The horny one just got shut down, didn't he?"

 **ELECTROCHEMISTRY** \- Is he talking about me? Because yeah, _totally horny_ right now.

 **VOLITION** [Godly: Success] - And also _totally shut down_. 

**YOU** \- "Mm-hmm," you reply. "Did yours get shut down too?"

**HARRY DU BOIS** \- He hums thoughtfully against your neck, and the resulting vibrations send a heated shiver through your spine. 

**ELECTROCHEMISTRY** [Legendary: Success] - He's totally on my side! Take that, you killjoy!!! 

**VOLITION** [Godly: Success] - If you think that calling me names will work, then you've forgotten what I do for a living.

**HARRY DU BOIS** \- Just as you're about to take his silence as a "yes", he untangles his fingers from yours and---

 **REACTION SPEED** [Formidable: Success] - _Incoming!!!!_

 **HARRY DU BOIS** \- --snakes his large, warm hand under your shirt. 

**YOU** \- Your breath hitches in your throat.

**HARRY DU BOIS** \- "No. No, he didn't," he admits mischievously.

**COMPOSURE** [Impossible: Failure] - Implementing emergency ear-cooling mechanisms!!!

 **ELECTROCHEMISTRY** [Legendary: Success] - Oh _yeah!!!!!!_ T-t-t-t-time to show you what _I_ do for a living, baby!!!!

 **HARRY DU BOIS** \- His hand languidly travels up your chest, leaving a warm, tingling trail in its wake---

He peppers your neck with butterfly-light kisses.

 **VOLITION** \- Do you want to engage?

 **YOU** \- You release a shuddering gasp.

**_YES_ **

**VOLITION** [Trivial: Success] - Very well.

**YOU** \- You twist around to look at him---

 **HAND-EYE COORDINATION** [Trivial: Success] - You reach up and grasp the back of his head---

 **ELECTROCHEMISTRY** [Easy: Success] - Your mouth collides with his---

_BRRRIIIIIIIINNGGGGGG!!!_

**PERCEPTION (Hearing)** \- --and a loud, shrill noise pierces the air. 

**HARRY DU BOIS** \- He jolts his head back--- 

**ELECTROCHEMISTRY** [Godly: Failure] - NOOOOOOooooooooo---

 **HARRY DU BOIS** \- ---and glares at the blaring alarm clock on your bedside table. 

**YOU** \- You groan and bury your face in his shoulder.

 **HARRY DU BOIS** \- He groans and buries his face in your hair.

**ELECTROCHEMISTRY** [Godly: Failure] - --oooooooooooo---!!!!!!!

 **VOLITION** \- Would you like to ignore the alarm and continue with your...activities?

 **ELECTROCHEMISTRY** \- YES PLEASE SAY YES

**HARRY DU BOIS** \- "I don't want to get out of bed, Kim" Harry whines against the crown of your head. "I wanna stay here and make out with you forever..."

 **YOU** \- Even though you're just as frustrated as he is, you can't help but chuckle at his childish honesty. 

Can we afford to continue...?

 **ELECTROCHEMISTRY** \- YES!

 **VOLITION** \- Up to you.

 **ESPRIT DE CORPS** [Medium: Success] - No.

 **ELECTROCHEMISTRY** [Legendary: Failure] - _WHAT_

**ESPRIT DE CORPS** [Medium: Success] - No, you cannot afford to stay in bed this morning.

Because it's _that_ day. 

**YOU** \- You blink.

... Oh.

_Oh._

That's right.

**VOLITION** [Godly: Success] - Exerting a stupendous amount of willpower, you peel your face away from Harry's wonderfully warm shoulder.

 **YOU** \- "Sorry, Harry," you sigh. "We have an appointment to keep, remember?"

 **COMPOSURE** [Medium: Success] - At your reminder, Harry's face lights up with realization. 

**HARRY DU BOIS** \- "Shit, you're right," he mutters. 

Then, his face crumbles with a forlorn sigh.

 **EMPATHY** [Easy: Success] - He was really, _really_ looking forward to making out with you. 

**ELECTROCHEMISTRY** \- And you were really, _really_ looking forward to making out with him. 

**VOLITION** [Godly: Success] - But the two of you are full-grown men who can exercise mastery over their libidos.

... Well, at least _you_ can. 

**EMPATHY** [Easy: Success] - This isn't the end of the world! Cheer him up a little. 

**YOU** \- You give him a little peck on the lips.

 **ELECTROCHEMISTRY** [Trivial: Success] - THANK YOU Now can you do that again but with tongue---

 **VOLITION** [Godly: Success] - Down, boy.

**YOU** \- "Just because we can't make out right now doesn't mean that we can't make out _later_ ," you murmur to him slyly.

 **HARRY DU BOIS** \- His face brightens up immediately.

**YOU** \- You arch an amused eyebrow at him.

"Let me guess: The horny one likes that idea?" you ask.

 **ELECTROCHEMISTRY** [Trivial: Success] - YES YES I DO

 **HARRY DU BOIS** \- He grins at you like a lovestruck idiot.

"Yeah, but I like it more than he does."

He leans in close---

**REACTION SPEED** [Godly: Success] - --but you quickly block his mouth with your palm.

 **ELECTROCHEMISTRY** [Legendary: Failure] - ...That's _it_ . I want to switch places with the other-me in Harry's head RIGHT. _NOW._

 **LOGIC** [Easy: Success] - Sorry, buddy. You're stuck with us.

 **YOU** \- "Go take a shower while I prepare breakfast," you tell him. 

**HARRY DU BOIS** \- At the sound of the word "breakfast", his eyes widen like twin saucers.

 **SUGGESTION** [Easy: Success] - So it's true. The way to a man's heart really _is_ through his stomach.

 **LOGIC** [Challenging: Success] - Actually, the way to a man's heart is through his chest cavity, but that sounds less romantic.

**HARRY DU BOIS** \- He nods at you. 

But before you can remove your hand from his mouth...

... He presses a quick kiss at the center of your palm.

**ELECTROCHEMISTRY** [Easy: Success] - UNFFFFFFF

 **COMPOSURE** [Legendary: Failure] - Ear-cooling mechanisms have shut down! I repeat, they've shut down!!!

 **VOLITION** \- He's really, _really_ testing us, isn't he?

 **AUTHORITY** \- Yes. Yes, he is.

**YOU** \- Taking your tingling hand away from his mouth, you clear your throat. 

"Khm. Shower. Now," you say, in a tone that leaves no room for discussion. 

**HARRY DU BOIS** \- He flashes you a wink and a grin before getting up from the bed.

**YOU** \- You lie there for a few more moments, silently mourning the crushing loss of Harry's body warmth

... What was I supposed to do again?

 **ELECTROCHEMISTRY** [Legendary: Failure] - Drag him back to bed? Use your mouth to wipe that grin from his face??? _Join him in the shower_?????

 **VOLITION** [Heroic: Success] - No.

Breakfast.

 **YOU** \- ...Ah. 

Right.

* * *

**SAVOIR FAIRE** [Easy: Success] - As you walk into the kitchen, you roll your shoulders and stretch out your arms above your head.

 **YOU** – Who wants to make a good fucking breakfast?

 **HAND-EYE COORDINATION** [Trivial: Success] - Heck yeah!

 **PERCEPTION** [Trivial: Success] - All set!

 **INTERFACING** [Trivial: Success] - Let's do this!

**YOU** \- The eager chorus of voices in your head brings a fond smile to your face. 

**SAVOIR FAIRE** \- Can we listen to our jam?

 **YOU** \- Sure thing.

 **INTERFACING** [Trivial: Success] - As you pass by the radio on the countertop, you twist its dial until you find the station that you're looking for---

 **JAMROCK JAM (88.1 FM)** \- The chipper voice of a young woman springs from the radio.

"Gooooood morning, Revacholians! You're listening to Jamrock Jam, the hippest, most happening station on this side of Revachol West! I'm DJ Elle, and I'll be playing the best beats for you for the next three hours. A lot of you asked for this first song, so I sit back, relax, and enjoy the jam!"

Then, the first song plays---A lone trumpet blares out a fast, lively staccato before it's quickly joined by a trombone, a drum beat, the swish of a turntable...

 **ENCYCLOPEDIA** [Medium: Success] - TipTop Orchestra's new single, "The Movement of the Bling Baron". This band's known for their signature style, which is a strange fusion of Semenine percussion, Kedran brass instruments, and Revacholian punk music. 

**YOU** \- You stand in the middle of the kitchen and close your eyes...

 **PERCEPTION** [Easy: Success] - You let the music wash over you.

 **SAVOIR FAIRE** [Easy: Success] - You bob your head to the beat.

 **HAND-EYE COORDINATION** [Easy: Success] - Your hands tap out a rhythm on your thighs.

**YOU** \- Everyone ready?

 **PERCEPTION** [Easy: Success] - Ready!

 **SAVOIR FAIRE** [Easy: Success] - Ready!

 **HAND-EYE COORDINATION** [Easy: Success] - Ready!

**YOU** \- With that, you open your eyes---

And whip up a storm.

* * *

**YOU** \- By the time you're mixing the pancake batter, there’s already a large bowl of scrambled eggs and a plate of sausages on the kitchen counter. At this point, you've fully entered the zone, which tends to happen whenever you do something that you love while listening to an awesome beat.

 **SAVOIR FAIRE** [Easy: Success] - Nothing gets your blood pumping like Speedfreaks FM when you're behind the wheel. But for less...exhilarating tasks, you prefer listening to the smooth, easy tracks on Jamrock Jam. 

**ENCYCLOPEDIA** [Challenging: Success] - The song that's currently playing is "Around Dawn" by T.H. Minnow ('00-'51) and Gary Mandel ('03-present), a slow, mellow instrumental duet with Minnow's maxophone crooning over Mandel's sauntering piano notes.

 **YOU** \- As the song plays over the radio, you allow your mind to wander... 

But, as always, it ends up getting sucked into the massive gravitational pull of a certain lieutenant double-yefreitor who happens to be staying under your roof.

**LOGIC** \- Prior to your release from the hospital, your doctor emphatically insisted that you find someone--a relative, a friend, or a colleague--who can stay with you over the next three months and provide assistance and support as you convalesce at home.

 **ESPRIT DE CORPS** \- Detective Du Bois didn't even wait for the doctor to finish talking before he enthusiastically volunteered for the job.

 **EMPATHY** \- Back then, you didn't know what to make of it. Given the intensity of your feelings for Harry--and the intensity of _his_ feelings for _you_ \---the thought of having him stay in your apartment for _three whole months_ was frankly overwhelming. 

**AUTHORITY** [Medium: Failure] - It didn't help that you were going to be heavily dependent on him for basic tasks, including moving around, eating, changing your bandages---

 **ELECTROCHEMISTRY** [Medium: Success] - And my personal favorite...

 _Bathing_.

**PAIN THRESHOLD** \- The first few weeks had been...challenging. It had been a while since either of you had lived with someone, and the adjustment would have been difficult enough even if you didn't have a gaping wound in your abdomen and unprocessed psychological trauma from a near-death experience.

 **ELECTROCHEMISTRY** [Easy: Success] - Stir in Harry's dormant addictions and his inability to keep his hands off of you for more than five minutes and you had a _really_ interesting domestic situation at hand. 

**SAVOIR FAIRE** [Formidable: Success] - As you reminisce about the months that Harry has spent in your apartment, you absently grab a frying pan and flip it into the air.

 **HAND-EYE COORDINATION** [Formidable: Success] – Then, your hand shoots up, catches the pan mid-air, and plops it on the stove. 

**AUTHORITY** \- Very stylish, lieutenant.

 **YOU** \- Thank you. 

**ESPRIT DE CORPS** \- During his first week here, Detective Du Bois asked you if he could sleep on your bedroom floor, just so he could be there for you in case you needed anything in the middle of the night.

 **VOLITION** – But you refused his request.

 **AUTHORITY** \- Out of pride.

 **COMPOSURE** \- Out of embarrassment. 

**HALF-LIGHT** \- Out of fear.

 **ESPRIT DE CORPS -** So he parked himself in your living room instead. 

**INLAND EMPIRE** – But that all changed when you had your first nightmare.

**HAND-EYE COORDINATION** [Easy: Success] – You pour a generous amount of pancake batter onto the frying pan and let it simmer...

**INLAND EMPIRE** [Challenging: Success] – You were completely caught by surprise. One moment, you were being lulled to sleep by the distant sounds of traffic outside your window...

The next moment, you were bleeding out on the floor, and Harry’s shouting frantically as he tries to staunch the wound in your stomach---

 **HALF-LIGHT** [Formidable: Success] – You jolted awake only to see Harry’s panicked face leaning over you, and you were horrified to discover that you had been moaning so loudly that he heard it all the way from the living room.

 **COMPOSURE** [Godly: Failure] – As if that weren’t enough, you didn’t even realize that you had been crying in your sleep until Harry brushed away the tears that trailed down your cheek...

 **AUTHORITY** – After that night, you allowed the detective to sleep on your bedroom floor.

 **ELECTROCHEMISTRY** – And you made sure to sleep with one hand hanging off the side of your bed...

 **EMPATHY** \- ... Just so he could hold onto it through the night.

**HAND-EYE COORDINATION** [Medium: Success] – You flip the pancake and patiently wait for the other side to cook.

**YOU -** As the days wore on, you and Harry gradually settled into a comfortable routine. You’d both be up by dawn, and, depending on whether you had a good night's sleep or not, you would either prepare breakfast together or Harry would let you sleep in while he prepared breakfast for the both of you.

 **PERCEPTION** [Easy: Success] – Harry’s first attempt to cook breakfast was an absolute disaster. He wanted to surprise you with breakfast in bed, but instead, he surprised you with the smell of burning meat coming from the kitchen.

 **REACTION SPEED** [Easy: Success] – By the time you hobbled in to survey the damage, one of your frying pans had been hopelessly mutilated by a strange, black, goopy mixture that looked suspiciously like the incinerated remains of ham and eggs.

 **EMPATHY** [Heroic: Success] – Harry had looked so crestfallen and apologetic that you didn’t have the heart to get angry at him. Instead, you decided to give him a crash course on how to prepare breakfast without cremating any of the ingredients or burning down your kitchen. 

**COMPOSURE** \- It took a few days and almost all of your internal reserves of patience, but Harry eventually got the hang of it.

 **EMPATHY** – Then one morning, after a particularly grueling night, Harry showed up at your bedside with a nervous smile on his face and a plate of ham and eggs.

 **PERCEPTION** – When the first, delectable forkful hit your palate, your heart swelled with so much pride and joy that you almost wept.

**HAND-EYE COORDINATION** [Medium: Success] – Humming quietly to yourself, you spend the next few minutes creating a mouth-watering army of fluffy pancakes until you use up all of the batter.

**LOGIC** – Given the astounding amount of free time that you suddenly had on your hands, you decided to work through your extensive reading list. Thankfully, Harry was more than happy to go to the library for you.

 **VOLITION** \- You devoured every book that you got your hands on with the single-minded focus of a man who would go absolutely crazy if he didn’t apply himself wholeheartedly to something.

 **INTERFACING** [Challenging: Success] – You now know more than you ever needed, or wanted, to know about radiocomputers.

 **ESPRIT DE CORPS** [Challenging: Success] – And the practice of law enforcement (or the lack thereof) in other nations such as Oranje, Mesque, and Graad.

 **ENCYCLOPEDIA** [Challenging: Success] – And the history of the Seolite empire.

 **LOGIC** [Easy: Success] – And, since he refused to leave you alone in the apartment for longer than an hour, Harry had little choice but to start a reading habit too. The books that he borrowed for himself were impressive in their depth, scope, and eccentricity.

 **INLAND EMPIRE** – That tome about the effects of the Pale on human physiology and psychology.

 **ESPRIT DE CORPS** – That journal about the latest, cutting-edge techniques in forensic pathocriminology.

 **CONCEPTUALIZATION** – And the entire anthology of “The Man from Hjemdall” series, which he raced through with the fanatic glee of a ten-year-old boy.

**EMPATHY** [Easy: Success] – An easy smile spreads on your face as you remember those quiet, lazy afternoons that you and Harry spent in the living room, totally engrossed with your respective books.

 **YOU** \- You would lie on the couch with your head propped up on a pillow and your bare feet on Harry's lap. Meanwhile, he would sit at the opposite end, holding his book open with one hand while absently stroking the bridge of your foot with the other.

 **ELECTROCHEMISTRY** [Easy: Success] – Every now and then, he would mischievously tickle your soles...

 **PHYSICAL INSTRUMENT** [Easy: Success] - ...and you would punish him with a sharp kick in the ribs.

**YOU** – As you flip the last pancake into the air, it occurs to you that Harry should be done showering by now.

**PERCEPTION (Smell)** [Medium: Success] – ...which means that it's just a matter of time before marches into the kitchen smelling of menthol, musk, and aftershave...

**ELECTROCHEMISTRY** [Easy: Success] – And as usual, he’ll make a beeline for you and start trailing soft, hot kisses down your nape...

 **HAND-EYE COORDINATION** [Formidable: Success] – If you don’t want this pancake to die a fiery death, you’d better finish cooking it before your brain cells get devastated by Harry’s complete lack of self-control.

 **VOLITION** [Impossible: Failure] – Speaking of self-control, you’re only slightly embarrassed to admit that after an entire month of living, breathing, eating, and sleeping in the same space as Harry, you were the one who broke down first.

 **ELECTROCHEMISTRY** [Legendary: Success] – And o-o-o-ooooh _baby_ , w-w-w-w-w-what a breakdown it was!

**COMPOSURE** [Godly: Failure] – As the pancake sizzles on the pan, you feel the tips of your ears grow dreadfully warm...

**VOLITION** – It happened around two months ago, right after your evening bath. You were sitting half-naked on the toilet while Harry wrapped fresh bandages around your abdomen, as he had done every night for the past month.

But that night was...different.

 **PERCEPTION** [Challenging: Success] – For some reason, your senses were particularly heightened. His fingers were carefully dancing around your ribcage. He smelled of menthol, musk, and aftershave. His face was mere inches away from yours...

 **COMPOSURE** [Medium: Success] But just as he was about to secure the bandage in place, his hands froze.

Then he stared at you with wide, startled eyes.

 **VOLITION** [Impossible: Failure] – It was only then that you realized that one of your hands had somehow come up to rest on his cheek...

 **COMPOSURE** [Godly: Success] – You stared at each other for a few more moments.

Then---

 **VOLITION** [Impossible: Failure] – A dam burst open within you---

 **ELECTROCHEMISTRY** [Legendary: Success] – And your mouths crashed together.

**PERCEPTION** (Hearing) [Challenging: Success] – The song on the radio reaches a fevered crescendo.

**HAND-EYE COORDINATION** [Legendary: Success] – It was an absolute miracle that you and Harry even managed to stumble out of the bathroom, cross the hallway, and tumble into your bed.

 **ELECTROCHEMISTRY** [Legendary: Success] – All throughout that frantic journey, his lips never left yours, and his warm, warm hands seared wide, scorching trails all over your body---

 **VOLITION** [Godly: Success] – Yet despite the frenzied desperation that overcame the both of you, Harry immediately shifted gears the moment you reached the bed.

 **ELECTROCHEMISTRY** [Legendary: Success] - His gaze became more focused and attentive, his hands became slower and more deliberate, his kisses became deeper and more languid...

 **VOLITION** [Impossible: Failure] – You wanted to kick Harry for daring to slow down when you were _finally_ doing what you had always wanted to do with him ever since the night you brought him home after your welcome party.

 **ELECTROCHEMISTRY** [Godly: Success] – But then, he short-circuited your brain by gripping both of your wrists with just one hand---

Travelling down the prone, trembling length of your body---

And reverently kissing the fresh scar on your abdomen.

**PERCEPTION** **(Smell)** [Easy: Success] – Wait--- SOMETHING’S BURNING AND IT’S NOT JUST YOUR EARS

 **YOU** – You jolt out of that scorching memory and immediately behold that poor, last pancake turning into a blackened crisp on your frying pan.

“ _Fuck fuck fuck_ ,” you hiss as you quickly switch off the heat---

 **ELECTROCHEMISTRY** [Godly: Success] – That’s a _pretty_ accurate description of how that night ended, by the way.

 **REACTION SPEED** [Heroic: Success] – ---and hurriedly remove the smoking frying pan from the stove.

 **VOLITION** [Legendary: Failure] – See? This is what happens when we let you run loose.

 **ELECTROCHEMISTRY** – That pancake died for a good cause and we will honor its sacrifice by furiously making out with Harry the first chance we---

**VOLITION** – Should I shut him up now?

 **YOU** – Yes, please.

**PERCEPTION** [Godly: Failure] – You’re so frustrated by what happened that you don’t notice the figure standing behind you until it’s too late.

 **COMPOSURE** [Godly: Success] – You absolutely do _not_ jump when a pair of strong arms wrap themselves around your waist and a warm, solid body presses up against your back.

 **PERCEPTION (Smell)** [Easy: Success] – The air becomes suffused by the heady scents of menthol, musk, and aftershave---

**HARRY DU BOIS** – He perches his chin on your shoulder and peers at the burnt wreckage in the frying pan.

“Wow, that looks like something I would have made,” he says.

 **YOU** – And just like that, you’re smiling again.

“It’s a new recipe,” you reply, without missing a beat. “I call it the Du Bois Delight.”

**HARRY DU BOIS** – He chuckles against your shoulder---

 **ELECTROCHEMISTRY** [Easy: Success] - ---and you can’t help but press a kiss to his temple.

 **YOU** – “You clean up pretty good, Detective,” you murmur into his ear.

 **ELECTROCHEMISTRY** [Challenging: Success] – That _definitely_ got his attention.

**HARRY DU BOIS** – He draws his head back to look at you with a mischievous glint in his eyes.

“I would have you know, _Lieutenant_ , that I deliberately choose to look like an unkempt bum most of the time so that criminals would underestimate my genius---”

 **YOU** – You roll your eyes at him...

 **PHYSICAL INSTRUMENT** [Easy: Success] – ...And jab your elbow into his stomach.

 **HARRY DU BOIS** – He lets out a winded squeak and abruptly releases you.

**YOU** – “Interesting...I thought you looked like an unkempt bum because you keep picking up every article of clothing that you spot on the street,” you say innocently.

 **HARRY DU BOIS** – He clutches his heart in mock pain, but the grin on his face is genuine.

“Lieutenant,” he says in an affronted tone. “I thought you _liked_ me.”

 **COMPOSURE** [Godly: Success] – You successfully stifle the laughter that bubbles in your chest.

 **YOU** – “Oh, but I _do_ like you, Detective,” you say as you step into his personal space once again.

 **ELECTROCHEMISTRY** [Challenging: Success] – Then, you lower your voice to a husky whisper.

 **YOU** \- “I like you...very much.”

 **HARRY DU BOIS** – His eyes immediately take on a hungry look.

 **ELECTROCHEMISTRY** [Easy: Success] – We will honor you, burnt pancake. _Your sacrifice will not be in vain_.

**PERCEPTION** [Medium: Success] – Up close, he looks absolutely marvelous. He’s trimmed his moustache and his beard and combed his hair back. He’s wearing a somber, black suit that fits him perfectly, accentuating the width of his shoulders and the coiled strength in his arms...

 **ELECTROCHEMISTRY** [Easy: Success] – A warm tendril of arousal simmers in your gut...

 **SAVOIR FAIRE** [Easy: Success] - ...but it’s promptly extinguished when your eyes land on his haphazardly knotted tie.

 **ELECTROCHEMISTRY** [Godly: Failure] – _WHAT?!_

**YOU** – You frown.

“Harry, what are you wearing around your neck?” you ask.

 **HARRY DU BOIS** – He blinks at you with a stupefied expression on his face.

 **ELECTROCHEMISTRY** [Godly: Failure] – SEE??? EVEN _HE’S_ GETTING WHIPLASH FROM THIS!!!!

 **HARRY DU BOIS** \- “It’s...a tie?” he says, in a tone that says that he’s no longer sure if the object around his neck actually _is_ a tie.

 **SUGGESTION** [Heroic: Success] – He tends to defer to you when it comes to perceiving objective reality.

 **SAVOIR FAIRE** [Heroic: Success] – Please tell me that you’re going to fix this travesty of a necktie. _Please_. I’m _begging_ you.

**YOU** – You sigh.

 **HAND-EYE COORDINATION** [Easy: Success] – Then, before Harry can say anything else, you promptly begin the urgent business of rescuing his necktie from the horror that he inflicted upon it.

 **SAVOIR FAIRE** [Heroic: Success] – _Thank you_.

 **INLAND EMPIRE** [Heroic: Success] – Harry’s tie says, “Thank you,” too, by the way.

**HARRY DU BOIS** – He sighs, but does his best to stand still for you.

 **HAND-EYE COORDINATION** [Legendary: Success] – Your fingers begin to deftly untangle the chaotic knot that Harry somehow managed to create from a simple necktie.

 **SAVOIR FAIRE** [Heroic: Success] – Who taught him how to do this???

... On second thought, I don’t even want to know.

**COMPOSURE** [Formidable: Success] – Is it just me, or does Harry seem kind of...tense?

 **YOU** – You glance up at Harry to check on him.

 **HARRY DU BOIS** – He’s resolutely staring at the wall behind your head.

 **PERCEPTION (Sight)** [Formidable: Success] – There! See that little furrow between his eyebrows? That wasn’t there before!

 **YOU** – Even as you take note of Harry’s discomfort, your hands don’t cease their agile movements.

 **HAND-EYE COORDINATION** [Legendary: Success] – The worst part of the knot has been dealt with. Just a few more seconds and you’ll have a fresh start.

 **SUGGESTION** [Easy: Success] – You might as well get to the bottom of this.

**YOU** – “Reál for your thoughts?” you ask Harry without looking away from his tie.

 **HARRY DU BOIS** – He gulps nervously.

 **COMPOSURE** [Easy: Success] – Ha! Gotcha.

**HARRY DU BOIS** – He stays quiet for a moment longer. Then, he clears his throat.

"So. Uh. That friend of yours---"

 **HAND-EYE COORDINATION** [Medium: Success] – Just a bit more----

 **YOU** \- "Yes?" you murmur. 

**HARRY DU BOIS** \- "Do you... " 

He pauses for a bit. 

**HAND-EYE COORDINATION** [Medium: Success] – Almost done----

**HARRY DU BOIS** \- Then, he sighs heavily.

"Do you think they'll like me?" he finally asks.

 **HAND-EYE COORDINATION** [Easy: Success] – Your hands freeze around Harry’s freshly untangled tie.

 **EMPATHY** [Challenging: Success] – Ah.

So _that’s_ what this is about.

 **YOU** – When you look up at Harry’s face, your heart crumbles at what you see.

 **EMPATHY** [Challenging: Success] – Even after all this time...

He still thinks he’s not good enough to be with you.

**ELECTROCHEMISTRY** – Wait, so he _didn't_ get the memo the first two hundred times that you shoved your tongue down his throat????

 **DRAMA** [Legendary: Failure] – Ugh. You always utter things using the crudest and least romantic turns of phrase. 

**COMPOSURE** [Medium: Success] – Harry’s looking at you directly now, but his eyes are anxious and uncertain.

 **YOU** \- ...Will I ever be able to convince him?

 **SUGGESTION** [Heroic: Success] - Maybe not. 

But maybe...

You can believe in him everyday until he starts to believe in himself.

**YOU** \- ...Okay.

Okay, I can do that.

With a small smile dancing at the edge of your mouth, you redirect your gaze back on Harry's tie.

**SAVOIR FAIRE** [Formidable: Success] - Time to show him how it's _really_ done.

 **HAND-EYE COORDINATION** [Trivial: Success] - Your fingers gently grip the ends of the tie.

**YOU** \- "I don't see why anyone wouldn't like you, Harry," you say as your hands begin their adroit dance.

 **HAND-EYE COORDINATION** [Formidable: Success] - _The rabbit bounded away with the fox snapping at its tail---_

**YOU** \- "After all," you continue, "You're kind, caring..."

 **HAND-EYE COORDINATION** [Formidable: Success] - _Once around the tree, the fox chased the rabbit---_

**YOU** \- "...stupidly brave..."

 **HAND-EYE COORDINATION** [Formidable: Success] - _Twice around the tree they ran---_

**YOU** \- "...eccentric, but brilliant..."

 **HARRY DU BOIS** \- He chuckles at that.

 **HAND-EYE COORDINATION** [Formidable: Success] - _The rabbit scooted under a bush---_

**YOU** \- "... and last, but not the least..."

 **HAND-EYE COORDINATION** [Formidable: Success] - _\---and got away from the fox._

**HAND-EYE COORDINATION** [Easy: Success] - With a pleased smile on your face, you adjust the simple, yet presentable, knot on Harry's tie one last time.

Then, you reach up...

And gently cup his cheek.

 **YOU** \- "...incredibly handsome," you finish.

**HARRY DU BOIS** \- He stares at you with wide eyes.

 **SUGGESTION** [Heroic: Success] - Don't take my word for it, but... I think you convinced him.

 **EMPATHY** [Legendary: Success] - You've floored him.

 **ELECTROCHEMISTRY** [Legendary: Success] - You've also turned him on because seriously, how you were able to make something as boring as _tying a tie_ look so _hot???_

**YOU** \- Ace's High!

 **HAND-EYE COORDINATION** [Formidable: Success] - Ace's High!

**PERCEPTION (Touch)** [Easy: Success] - His cheek is warm under your hand...

 **EMPATHY** [Easy: Success] - He gazes at you with awe, fondness, gratitude...

Love.

**YOU** \- You find yourself slowly drowning in his ocean-green eyes as that breathless moment stretches into infinity...

 **HARRY DU BOIS** \- But then he takes your hand from his cheek and---

 **REACTION SPEED** [Legendary: Success] - _Incoming_!!!!

 **HARRY DU BOIS** \- ---Presses a gentle kiss to the inside of your wrist. 

**PERCEPTION** [Trivial: Success] - The chaste touch of his lips sparks a trail of fire that shoots up your arm---

 **LOGIC** [Godly: Failure] - You're going to have to give us a few minutes to get everything back online. 

In the meantime, go ahead and make out with him or something.

**VOLITION** [Easy: Success] - You heard the man.

 **ELECTROCHEMISTRY** [Legendary: Success] - OH YEAH, BABY!!!!!

**SAVOIR FAIRE** [Easy: Success] - With lightning speed, you grab his tie and pull him forward---

**ELECTROCHEMISTRY** [Legendary: Success] - His warm, warm mouth tastes wonderfully of mint, and you plunge in again and again and again to drink your fill of that devastating, scorching coolness.

 **HARRY DU BOIS** \- He groans into your mouth as he kisses you back with the frenzied desperation of a man dying from thirst.

Before you know it, he's crowding you back against the kitchen counter---

 **PERCEPTION (Touch)** [Easy: Success] - You shiver as the too-hot skin of your back touches the cool tiles...

 **PHYSICAL INSTRUMENT** [Formidable: Success] - Suddenly, a large hand grips the underside of your thigh---

 **HAND-EYE COORDINATION** [Legendary: Success] - You cling onto the lapels of his suit as you hang on for dear life---

 **PHYSICAL INSTRUMENT** [Formidable: Success] - ---as you're hoisted onto the counter by his suit-clad, muscular arms.

**ELECTROCHEMISTRY** [Legendary: Success] - You fucking _love_ how strong he is.

 **PERCEPTION** [Legendary: Success] - Why does he taste so good? Why does he smell so good??? Why does he feel so good?????

 **YOU** \- You release a breathy moan into his mouth, and you feel him tense up against you---

 **ELECTROCHEMISTRY** [Legendary: Success] - You can't even _imagine_ all of the filthy things that he wants to do to you right now---

 **HARRY DU BOIS** \- His hand scorches a wide, blazing path up your thigh---

 **YOU** \- A violent shudder goes through your body, and you reach out to brace yourself on the counter---

**SAVOIR FAIRE** [Impossible: Failure] - ---and accidentally crush the innocent pile of fluffy pancakes that were parked right next to you.

 **PERCEPTION** [Impossible: Failure] - WHAT?!

**VOLITION** [Godly: Success] - You tear your mouth away from Harry's lips---

 **YOU** \- "Harry---Harry, wait---" you gasp.

 **HARRY DU BOIS** \- Oblivious to your distress, he latches onto the side of your neck and presses open-mouthed kisses on your heated skin---

 **ELECTROCHEMISTRY** \- _If you tell him to stop right now I_ **_swear_ **\---

 **VOLITION** [Godly: Success] - Biting back a moan, you try to push him away---

 **PHYSICAL INSTRUMENT** [Legendary: Failure] - But it's like pushing against a very large and very horny brick wall.

**YOU** \- What have I unleashed?

 **CONCEPTUALIZATION** [Easy: Success] - A force of nature.

 **DRAMA** [Easy: Success] - A ravenous beast.

 **ELECTROCHEMISTRY** [Easy: Success] - All of your wet dreams, rolled up into one devastatingly handsome, strong, brilliant package---

**AUTHORITY** [Godly: Success] - Lieutenant. Make him cease his pleasurable ministrations so that you can clean up this mess.

 **ELECTROCHEMISTRY** [Legendary: Success] - Wait, are we talking about the same mess here, boss?

**HARRY DU BOIS** \- He presses in closer and starts to give you the most prominent hickey that you will ever have in your life---

 **LOGIC** [Legendary: Failure] - Any ideas on how we can stop this insatiable monster???

 **PHYSICAL INSTRUMENT** [Legendary: Success] - Yeah. 

Yeah, I do.

**YOU** \- You reach up---

\--and smoosh a handful of mashed pancake into Harry's face.

**LOGIC** \- Okay, that works.

 **PHYSICAL INSTRUMENT** [Legendary: Success] - You're welcome.

 **ELECTROCHEMISTRY** [Godly: Failure] - Am I the only one here who's _not_ okay with this??????

**HARRY DU BOIS** \- He splutters and pulls away from you in a bewildered flurry of limbs and pancake bits.

 **VOLITION** [Godly: Success] - You're exerting an incredible amount of willpower to not laugh out loud at the sight of his face.

 **PERCEPTION (Sight)** [Easy: Success] - There's a considerable amount of pancake smeared all over his features---on his cheeks, his nose, his moustache, his beard---

 **PHYSICAL INSTRUMENT** [Legendary: Success] - We got him _real_ good. 

  
  


**HARRY DU BOIS** \- When he finally manages to regain his composure, Harry picks off a piece of pancake from his cheek, pops it into his mouth, and chews on it thoughtfully.

"Huh," he grunts, his eyes widening with wonder. "Bloody delicious as always."

Then, his eyes narrow.

 **HALF-LIGHT** [Challenging: Success] - _Watch out_!!!!

 **REACTION SPEED** [Godly: Failure] - Oh _god,_ he's going to---

 **YOU** \- You scramble backwards on the counter in a futile effort to get away from him, but---

 **HARRY DU BOIS** \- He swiftly lunges at you--

\---and begins to ruthlessly tickle your sides

**YOU** \- "Harry---Harry--st-stop--!!!" you gasp out between panicked bursts of laughter.

 **PHYSICAL INSTRUMENT** [Legendary: Failure] - You wrap your arms around your belly to shield it from Harry's relentless attack---

 **HARRY DU BOIS** \- But he just darts his fingers through your meager defenses while grinning like a mischievous little boy.

 **AUTHORITY** [Impossible: Failure] - We need to salvage the remains of our dignity! Quick, throw more pancakes at him!

 **ELECTROCHEMISTRY** [Legendary: Success] - I have a better idea.

**PHYSICAL INSTRUMENT** [Legendary: Success] - You brace yourself and let go of your sides---

 **COMPOSURE** [Godly: Failure] - What are you doing??? You're leaving yourself wide open!!!!

 **HARRY DU BOIS** \- Harry takes advantage of your vulnerability and tickles you with greater intensity---

 **VOLITION** [Godly: Success] - But even though you're almost crying with laughter, you manage to get a good grip on his lapels---

 **ELECTROCHEMISTRY** [Legendary: Success] - And pull him forward for another kiss.

**VOLITION** \- ... Huh. I guess you do have your moments of brilliance after all. 

**ELECTROCHEMISTRY** [Legendary: Success] - Dude, would it kill you to give me more credit here?! I just saved us from death-by-a-thousand-tickles!!!!

**HARRY DU BOIS** \- His tickles skid to a halt.

 **HALF-LIGHT** [Formidable: Success] - Oh thank god.

 **PERCEPTION** (Taste) [Easy: Success] - But now, his mouth tastes like sweet, creamy pancakes.

**AUTHORITY** [Impossible: Failure] - ...This was a _terrible mistake_.

 **ELECTROCHEMISTRY** [Legendary: Success] - I dunno boss, looks like a win-win situation to me--- 

**VOLITION** [Godly: Success] - Hitting the brakes. Right. _Now_. 

**YOU** \- You pull back from him---

 **HARRY DU BOIS** \- He tries to chase after you---

 **YOU** \- But you block his mouth with your palm again.

 **ELECTROCHEMISTRY** [Godly: Failure] - NOOOOOOooooooooo---!!!!

 **HARRY DU BOIS** \- The whiny groan that he releases into your hand sounds suspiciously like, "NOOOOOOooooooooo---!!!!"

**YOU** \- You give him an apologetic smile as you remove your hand from his mouth. 

"Sorry, Harry. We really, _really_ have to get going soon."

 **LOGIC** [Formidable: Success] - If you eat breakfast and shower quickly, you should be able to leave in half an hour.

 **VOLITION** [Legendary: Success] - Assuming of course, that you two manage to keep your pawing mitts off from each other. 

**HARRY DU BOIS** \- His lower lip wobbles.

 **COMPOSURE** [Challenging: Success] - "But I just want to stay here and make out with youuuuu," it conveys pathetically.

 **AUTHORITY** [Godly: Success] - We are amazed at the speed with which this man manages to switch between astounding dominance and deplorable idiocy. 

**YOU** \- You flick away a stubborn piece of pancake from his forehead.

"Breakfast. Now."

**HARRY DU BOIS** \- He stares pleadingly at you for a moment longer before sighing in defeat.

But instead of pulling away, he gives you a serious, earnest look...

**COMPOSURE** [Heroic: Success] - ... which is only marginally compromised by the bits of pancake that are still stuck on his face.

**HARRY DU BOIS** \- Then, he opens his mouth...

...and rocks your world.

"I love you, Kim," he says.

**DRAMA** [Trivial: Success] - The truth.

**YOU** \- You stare at him. 

**ELECTROCHEMISTRY** [Easy: Success] - Meanwhile, butterflies flutter violently in your stomach...

 **COMPOSURE** [Impossible: Failure] - ... And your ears heat up like twin suns.

**INLAND EMPIRE** [Legendary: Success] - Suddenly, you are beset by the mysterious feeling that he has uttered these words to you before, in the midst of unbearable darkness, grief, and despair...

But you didn't hear him back then. 

**EMPATHY** [Legendary: Success] - And yet, all this time, he's never stopped saying those words to you. He's been silently uttering them every time he grasped your hand, every time he cooked breakfast for you, every time he went to the library to return your books, every time he held you in his arms after you woke up from a nightmare...

 **ELECTROCHEMISTRY** [Legendary: Success] - They were in his every look, every touch, every kiss...

He kept on saying those words to you over and over, every moment of every day, hoping against hope that one day...

 **EMPATHY** [Legendary: Success] - ...you would love him too.

**INLAND EMPIRE** [Godly: Success] - This man...

He is your destiny.

By choosing him, your life will be entwined with his so completely and so utterly that from now on, his joy will be your joy; and his pain, your pain... 

**EMPATHY** [Godly: Success] - He has carved out his own heart and placed it within your hands.

And you...

You have already done the same.

**YOU** \- Once again, your hand comes up on its own volition...

And rests on his cheek.

"I love you too, Harry," you finally say.

**HARRY DU BOIS** \- An awed look dawns on his face.

 **EMPATHY** [Easy: Success] - He never expected to hear you say that.

But now,

he realizes

that all he ever wanted...

... was to hear you say that.

**HARRY DU BOIS** \- He leans forward---

And rests his forehead against yours.

**PERCEPTION (Sight)** [Trivial: Success] - And the smile on his face... 

**YOU** \- ...mirrors your own.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1) The alternate title of this chapter is, "Kim's Electrochemistry has a Really Bad Time."
> 
> 2) The list of things that Kim can do with devastating coolness grows longer.  
> \- making pancakes (check)  
> \- tying a tie (check)  
>  ~~\- cockblocking Harry at every possible moment (check)~~
> 
> 3) Did anyone expect Harry to act this hot? Because... I sure didn't. 
> 
> 4) The rhyme that Kim's Hand-Eye Coordination uses in tying Harry's necktie is an [actual rhyme](https://www.instructables.com/id/Learn-To-Tie-A-Tie-With-The-Rabbit-And-The-Fox-1/) used to teach children how to tie ties. 
> 
> 5) I was honestly planning on ending this fic at Chapter 14, but these two just couldn't _keep their hands off each other_ , so this chapter became longer than I expected it to be. 
> 
> But I promise that, for better or worse, the next chapter will be the last.
> 
> Thank you for reading, and I hope you enjoyed the chapter!


	15. The Sky

**YOU** \- After taking a quick, but refreshing, shower, you step into the living room and spot Harry standing on the balcony outside.

 **COMPOSURE** [Legendary: Success] - His entire stance belies ease and contentment. His shoulders are relaxed, his arms are crossed on top of the balcony railing, and his eyes are fixed on the gleaming horizon.

 **YOU** \- As you move to approach him, you're suddenly overcome by a strange feeling that makes you pause and contemplate him from afar... 

**AUTHORITY** [Easy: Success] - In the past, you've always taken pride in your aversion towards any form of sentimentality. 

**CONCEPTUALIZATION** [Easy: Success] - But now, seeing Harry like this—his face illuminated by warm, golden rays of dawn, his hair ruffled by a soft, benevolent breeze—makes your fingers itch for your camera, just so you could capture him in this rare, unguarded moment.

**INLAND EMPIRE** [Challenging: Success] - In his own eyes and to the eyes of many, many others, the detective is a wild, wounded animal who howls and rages and gnashes his teeth against the world that ripped his heart out of his chest and crushed it mercilessly underfoot. He sought relief in the black, tarry ocean of vice and addiction, submerging himself into it over and over and over again until his soul began to drown in the cloying effluvia of its own despair.

The night before your first, fateful encounter, he had disfigured his own body and mind so violently that when he looked at his own reflection, he no longer recognized the animal that he had become. 

But in this single, luminous instance...he is a man again.

**ELECTROCHEMISTRY** [Heroic: Success] - A vicious, weak, and broken man. 

**VOLITION** [Heroic: Success] - A man who desperately wants to prove to the world—and to himself—that he's more than the animal that he's become.

 **EMPATHY** [Heroic: Success] - A man who wants to do something good—no matter how small or insignificant—for this dying, fucked-up city. 

**VOLITION** [Easy: Success] - Before you know it, you've already crossed the living room and stepped out to join him on the balcony.

 **HARRY DU BOIS** \- He notices you and turns—

 **REACTION SPEED** [Heroic: Success] - But you hug him around the waist and rest your cheek against his back before he can fully turn around.

**YOU** \- What am I doing?

 **PHYSICAL INSTRUMENT** [Easy: Success] - You're acting like a weak, sentimental faggot.

 **EMPATHY** [Easy: Success] - You're trying to convey everything that's in your heart that words cannot capture.

 **INLAND EMPIRE** [Challenging: Success] - You're pressing this moment into your innermost being, where it can serve as a beacon of hope and consolation in your darkest hours. 

**YOU** \- Closing your eyes, you allow yourself to savor Harry's closeness, his broad, warm back, his slow, steady breathing...

 **HARRY DU BOIS** \- He chuckles quietly and covers your interlaced hands with his own. 

**EMPATHY** [Challenging: Success] - He's savoring this as much as you are.

**YOU** \- I want to help him be good. 

I want to help him _stay_ good.

 **EMPATHY** [Challenging: Success] - You already _are_ helping him.

 **PAIN THRESHOLD** [Impossible: Failure] - But you know all too well that the day will come when Harry will fail to be a good man. 

When that happens...

Will you still be able to love him?

**YOU** \- As you ponder that dreadful question, you tighten your arms around Harry.

 **HARRY DU BOIS** \- Meanwhile, his thumb traces gentle circles on the back of your hand.

"Reál for your thoughts?" he asks, his voice rumbling through his back like muffled thunder.

**INLAND EMPIRE** [Godly: Success] - Suddenly, the faint voice of a woman drifts through your consciousness like a cool, whispering breeze...

_"He is destined for the rise and fall of many in Elysium. He will be the city's only hope. Its last and greatest hero. But..."_

_"He cannot fulfill that destiny without you by his side."_

**YOU** \- When you open your eyes, you realize that you've already made a decision.

You loosen your arms around Harry and let him turn around to face you. 

**PERCEPTION** [Trivial: Success] - All of your lingering doubts are banished by the warm hand that he places on your cheek and the gentle kiss that he presses to your forehead.

 **YOU** \- You sigh and lean into his touch.

"Just wanted to hug the love of my life," you say simply.

**COMPOSURE** [Easy: Success] - His jaw drops. His eyes widen. His face turns a bright, burning shade of red. 

**DRAMA** [Trivial: Success] - You meant every single word, my emperor.

**HARRY DU BOIS** \- He's still staring at you with that dumbfounded expression on his face.

 **LOGIC** [Easy: Success] - Congratulations, you've successfully shut down his brain.

... _Revenge is sweet_.

**SUGGESTION** [Medium: Success] - Sorry to interrupt this romantic moment, but you might want to help him kick-start his higher-order brain functions soon, if you don't want to be late... 

**YOU** \- Ah, right.

"Ready to head out, Detective?" you ask him while still keeping your arms circled loosely around his waist.

 **HARRY DU BOIS** \- At the sound of your question, he shakes himself out of his stupor.

"Uh. Yeah. Yeah, I'm ready to go," he stammers out.

**YOU** \- Stifling the urge to smile at his bewilderment, you finally step back and let go of him. 

**COMPOSURE** [Challenging: Success] - See the tightness in his jaw and that bob in his throat? That's him doing his best not to whine at the sudden loss of physical contact with you.

 **HARRY DU BOIS** \- He opens his mouth to say something else, but then his eyes land on your outfit—

And the words die on his lips. 

**ELECTROCHEMISTRY** [Easy: Success] - He's staring at you because he thinks you look _smoking hot_.

...But then again, he'd think that you'd look hot even if you were wearing a lumpy, old, burlap sack. 

**SAVOIR FAIRE** [Easy: Success] - The outfit that you picked out for today is simple enough—black jeans, a plain, white undershirt, and the black version of your usual bomber jacket.

 **PERCEPTION (Sight)** [Easy: Success] - At first, you were thinking of wearing a black suit just like Harry. But then you saw the embarrassingly red hickey that he left on the base of your neck...

 **REACTION SPEED** [Heroic: Success] - ...and immediately grabbed the first, high-collared jacket that you saw in your cabinet. 

**SAVOIR FAIRE** [Easy: Success] - Also, you decided to wear your black, fingerless gloves today, because not only do they go well with your clothes, but they also make you look really, _really_ cool. 

**HARRY DU BOIS** \- When he finally recovers his composure, he stands up taller and straightens his suit...

 **SAVOIR FAIRE** [Easy: Success] - ... in an effort to make himself look more presentable for you.

 **ELECTROCHEMISTRY** \- Wait, is this a date? Because that was totally pre-date behavior. 

**ESPRIT DE CORPS** [Easy: Success] - No, this is not a date. It's a day that possesses great personal and professional significance to you, and Detective Du Bois just happened to be around to serve as your companion. 

**ELECTROCHEMISTRY** \- Yep, totally a date.

**HARRY DU BOIS** \- He gives you a smile so sappy that it makes your ears burn.

"Let's go, Kim," he says.

Then, after a beat...

He holds his hand out to you.

**YOU** \- You give him a quizzical look.

Does he want to hold my hand?

 **ELECTROCHEMISTRY** [Easy: Success] - So that you can go down to the garage like the two lovestruck idiots that you are? Why not!

 **SAVOIR FAIRE** [Heroic: Success] - Actually, no. It's more like...he wants you to give him something.

 **LOGIC** [Godly: Failure] - What? You're going to have to be more explicit than—

**INTERFACING** [Heroic: Success] - NO!

**YOU** \- You blink. 

No what?

**INTERFACING** [Heroic: Success] - NO, DON'T GIVE THEM TO HIM!

 **LOGIC** [Legendary: Success] - Don't give what to—

...Oh. 

**YOU** \- When you finally realize what Harry's asking you for, your blood freezes in your veins.

**HARRY DU BOIS** – He continues to hold his hand out to you expectantly.

 **COMPOSURE** [Formidable: Success] – In response, you school your face into the most innocent and deadpan expression that you can possibly muster. 

**HARRY DU BOIS** – He arches an eyebrow at you.

He does a “Gimme,” motion with his hand.

 **YOU** – You narrow your eyes and cross your arms. 

**VOLITION** [Formidable: Success] – And successfully resist the temptation to pout like a petulant child.

**HARRY DU BOIS** – He sighs.

“Come on, Kim. You heard what the doctors said... No driving for another month.”

 **COMPOSURE** [Godly: Success] - You continue to glare at him.

 **PERCEPTION** [Easy: Success] – You remember exactly what your doctors said, but that doesn’t mean that you _agree_ with what they said.

 **SAVOIR FAIRE** [Challenging: Success] – What kind of Speedfreak would let a mere flesh wound hinder him from dominating the streets of Jamrock with devastating panache and impeccable driving?

 **AUTHORITY** [Challenging: Success] – It is our _moral duty_ to blaze through the streets of Jamrock chasing after fleeing perps while blasting out the filthiest, most bad-ass music from the Kineema's obscenely excellent stereos—

**PAIN THRESHOLD** – Woah there, guys. That “flesh wound" actually goes through your entire abdominal cavity, and the damage was so extensive that you needed a whole month of physical therapy just to be able to walk again...

But hey, you do you.

**HARRY DU BOIS** – He stubbornly keeps his hand extended towards you.

 **EMPATHY** [Legendary: Success] – _“Come on, Kim. Trust me,_ ” his eyes plead.

**YOU** – Staring silently at Harry’s outstretched hand, you realize that, for the first time since you woke up with voices in your head, you absolutely need to call for an—

**AUTHORITY** [Legendary: Success] – Emergency voice conference.

_Now._

**YOU** \- You feel all of the voices inside your head gather in the area behind your eyes and start arguing with each other. 

**LOGIC** – Come on, just let him drive. What’s the worst that could happen?

 **HALF-LIGHT** [Easy: Success] – Did you forget what happened to the last car that he drove? Hint: _It’s still in the fucking ocean._

 **EMPATHY** – But he’s taken such good care of you! And he saved your life! And he _loves_ you!!!

 **INTERFACING** – That’s all great and wonderful, but this is the Kineema we’re talking about.

 **ELECTROCHEMISTRY** \- So you’re totally okay with him pounding you senseless, but you’re not okay with him driving your car?

 **COMPOSURE** [Legendary: Failure] – Excuse me, but are you trying to murder _all_ of our neurons???

 **LOGIC** [Medium: Success] – But you have to admit that he makes a good point. You’ve practically given Harry everything—

 **ELECTROCHEMISTRY** [Easy: Success] – Your body.

 **ESPRIT DE CORPS** [Easy: Success] – Your loyalty.

 **EMPATHY** [Easy: Success] – Your love.

 **LOGIC** – So given all of that, you have to admit that it would be the height of pettiness to not let him drive your car.

 **EMPATHY** [Medium: Success] - And besides, he probably knows that if he even puts a single scratch on the Kineema—

 **HALF-LIGHT** [Easy: Success] – You’ll murder him in his sleep.

 **ELECTROCHEMISTRY** [Formidable: Failure] – You won’t make out with him for a month.

 **VOLITION** [Godly: Success] – ...Admittedly, you will not turn into a homicidal maniac for the sake of your motor carriage.

You are, however, very much capable of freezing out Harry like an Oranjese blizzard for a month, if it comes to that.

**AUTHORITY** – Do you have your answer now?

**YOU** \- ...

...

...

You sigh in defeat.

“Alright, you can drive,” you tell Harry grudgingly.

**HARRY DU BOIS** – A triumphant grin blooms on his face.

 **YOU** – “But,” you say in an absolutely arctic tone. “If you put a even _single scratch_ on the Kineema...”

 **HALF-LIGHT** [Legendary: Success] – The silence that stretches out after your sentence is so threatening that the grin on Harry’s face quickly morphs into terrified panic.

 **EMPATHY** [Challenging: Success] – He’s definitely getting the “I-will-murder-you-in-your-sleep” vibes.

 **ELECTROCHEMISTRY** [Challenging: Success] – And the “no-making-out-for-a-month” vibes too!

**HARRY DU BOIS** – He jerks his head up and down rapidly, and it takes you a second to realize that he's actually nodding so fast that he's in real danger of dislocating his skull from his neck.

 **HAND-EYE COORDINATION** [Easy: Success] – Sighing, you fish out the car keys from your pocket and throw them at Harry—

 **HARRY DU BOIS** \- —who manages to catch them after a few seconds of frantic fumbling.

**HAND-EYE COORDINATION** – That was _dreadful_. You sure this is a good idea?

 **YOU** \- No. 

This might be an absolutely _awful_ idea. 

But I did say that I'd believe in him, didn't I?

**EMPATHY** [Medium: Success] - Yes.

Yes, you did.

**VOLITION** [Godly: Success] - Clamping down on the powerful urge to swipe back your car keys from Harry, you turn on your heel and head for the door. 

"Let's go," you sigh. "We still need to pick up a few things along the way."

**HARRY DU BOIS** \- He falls into step behind you, and even without seeing his face, you know that he's grinning from ear to ear.

**EMPATHY** [Challenging: Success] - _"I won't let you down,"_ he wants to tell you.

**YOU** \- _"I know you won't,"_ you would have replied. 

_"Because if you do_ _, you're banished to the living room for life,"_ you would have added sullenly. 

* * *

**YOU** \- Strapping yourself into the backseat of the Kineema, you're painfully aware of how tense you are, as if you're ready to pounce on Harry the moment he even looks like he's about to make a mistake...

 **HARRY DU BOIS** \- Oblivious to your scrutiny, Harry turns on the ignition, and the Kineema practically purrs to life under his hands like a large, contented feline.

 **ELECTROCHEMISTRY** [Easy: Success] - And of course, the first thing that springs into your mind is how those amazing hands have made _you_ purr too—

**INTERFACING** [Easy: Success] - Then he turns the radio on and puts the dial on Jamrock Jam.

 **HARRY DU BOIS** \- "Oh wait, did you want to listen to Speedfreaks, Kim?" he asks.

 **YOU** \- You shake your head mutely, still wary about his competence, but genuinely touched by his consideration.

 **HARRY DU BOIS** \- He grins. "Alright. Let's head out, then."

 **INTERFACING** [Easy: Success] - Then, with all the skill and confidence of a seasoned captain on the wheel of his flagship, he maneuvers the Kineema out of its parking slot and heads out of your apartment's garage.

**COMPOSURE** [Godly: Success] - As expected, the drive to the flower shop is absolutely nerve-wracking.

 **LOGIC** [Legendary: Failure] - But not for the reasons that you expected.

 **YOU** \- In the entire twenty minutes that it takes to get from your apartment to the flower shop, you can't help but stare at Harry, utterly stunned by the ease and comfort with which he handles the Kineema... 

**INTERFACING** [Easy: Success] - The way he grips the wheel with one hand while he shifts gears with the other in a swift, smooth motion—

 **PERCEPTION** [Medium: Success] - The way he hums along with the songs on the radio while cruising along Sunset Boulevard—

 **EMPATHY** [Easy: Success] - The way he slows to a stop and graciously waves along pedestrians so that they can cross the street—

 **COMPOSURE** [Godly: Success] - But nothing, absolutely _nothing_ , could have prepared you for what he does when you finally arrive at the flower shop.

**HARRY DU BOIS** \- He peers out of the driver's window and clucks his tongue.

"Looks like it'll be a tight fit," he mutters to himself.

 **YOU** \- You blink out of your stupor. 

**ELECTROCHEMISTRY** \- Excuse me?

 **PERCEPTION** [Easy: Success] - He means the parking outside the shop, you horny idiot.

 **YOU** \- When you look out the window, you see exactly what Harry means. 

**PERCEPTION (Sight)** [Easy: Success] - An impressive number of MCs are parked along the road in front of the flower shop, and the only slot that's large enough for the Kineema is right between two other vehicles.

 **INTERFACING** [Challenging: Success] - It'll be _really_ tricky to pull this off. Maybe you should switch places with him so that you can do it yourself?

**YOU** \- "Harry," you start, "Maybe I should—"

 **HARRY DU BOIS** \- But he's already peering behind you as he gingerly reverses the Kineema. 

"Sorry, Kim, just give me a second—" He trails off as he bites his cheek and focuses on maneuvering the Kineema in place. 

**COMPOSURE** [Godly: Success] - You grip your seat so hard that you're sure that you'll leave marks on it.

 **PERCEPTION (Hearing)** \- You close your eyes and brace yourself for the inevitable sound of metal screeching against metal—

...

...

...

But it never comes.

**YOU** \- Startled, you open your eyes and sweep your gaze from the front to the rear of the Kineema—

 **INTERFACING** [Godly: Success] - —Only to confirm that Harry did indeed pull of an incredibly impressive feat.

Namely, parallel parking the Kineema into that really tight space.

**YOU** \- ...I love him so much. 

**ELECTROCHEMISTRY** [Legendary: Success] - Oh, buddy.

Just wait until you see him get the Kineema _out_ of here. 

* * *

**YOU** \- By the time you and Harry arrive at a nondescript parking lot in the outskirts of Revachol East, you're sitting in the backseat with a bouquet of carnations and a paper bag containing three cans of beer and a brand-new pack of Astra cigarettes. 

**LOGIC** [Godly: Failure] - It is also worth mentioning that at this point, your brain has been completely, utterly wrecked by Harry's driving.

 **INTERFACING** [Legendary: Success] - In a good way.

 **ELECTROCHEMISTRY** [Legendary: Success] - In a really, _really_ good way. 

**PERCEPTION (Sight** ) [Legendary: Success] - There was only _two fucking inches_ between the Kineema and those two other cars—

 **YOU -** I didn't even know you could use the emergency brakes to do that—

 **INTERFACING** [Legendary: Success] - And the way he revved the engines—

 **ELECTROCHEMISTRY** [Legendary: Success] - He definitely revved _something_ , alright.

 **REACTION SPEED** [Godly: Failure] - The animated discussion in your head is suddenly interrupted by someone opening the door beside you.

**HARRY DU BOIS** \- He gives you a nervous smile.

"Well, we made it," he says. "How'd I do?"

 **PERCEPTION (Sight)** [Trivial: Success] - He did _wonderfully_.

 **INTERFACING** [Trivial: Success] - He did _excellently_.

 **ELECTROCHEMISTRY** [Trivial: Success] - He did really great now pull him in and _kiss his brains out_.

 **VOLITION** [Godly: Success] - You somehow manage to resist the impulse to pull Harry into the back of the Kineema and make out with him furiously.

**YOU** \- "You..." you croak out. "You did. Well. Harry."

 **HARRY DU BOIS** \- At the sound of your praise, he beams at you like a joyful puppy.

 **DRAMA** [Heroic: Success] - The dear detective genuinely has no inkling of the devastation that he has wrought to your capacity for rational thinking, my emperor.

**YOU** \- Still flustered, you quickly move past Harry and get out of the Kineema before you do something stupid. 

**ELECTROCHEMISTRY** [Trivial: Success] - Like kiss his brains out.

 **VOLITION** [Godly: Success] - There will be time for that...

Later.

 **ELECTROCHEMISTRY** [Trivial: Success] - Woohoo!!!

**YOU** \- The moment your feet hit the ground, you take a deep breath to compose yourself.

 **COMPOSURE** [Godly: Success] - Heart rate's back to normal. Ears have cooled down. Blood flow has been redirected back to the brain—

 **ELECTROCHEMISTRY** [Legendary: Failure] - Hey, don't look at me! This is all _his_ fault. 

**YOU** \- When you finally exhale, you instinctively look up at the sky...

And marvel at what you see. 

**HARRY DU BOIS** \- After taking out the flowers and the paper bag from the backseat, he stands by your side and follows your gaze upwards. 

"Beautiful day, eh?” he says.

 **YOU** – You simply nod in silence.

**INLAND EMPIRE** [Heroic: Success] – When you were a little boy, you and your fellow orphans would sneak into the old military airfields in the outskirts of Jamrock. You loved those excursions, not just you got to escape from the Matron and her iron-fisted rule, but also because you got to see the sky. 

**SHIVERS** [Heroic: Success] - In Jamrock, the sky was a dreary, ash-gray smog that’s blocked by tall buildings and smeared by pollution, but in the airfields, it was an endless blue expanse that stretched for miles and miles and miles....

 **INLAND EMPIRE** [Heroic: Success] - It made your heart soar.

**PERCEPTION** [Easy: Success] - The sky above you right now is as wide and endless as those innocent, childhood skies.

 **INLAND EMPIRE** [Heroic: Success] - Yet for some strange reason, you cannot help but feel that you've stood beneath another sky that was just as bright and beautiful as this one, but in a dream. 

A peaceful, consoling dream, with a baby-blue sky above a wide, swaying field of green, green grass...

But even as you remember snatches of that surreal landscape, you realize that there was something missing from it, something so precious that its mere absence was enough to turn that resplendent dream into a harrowing nightmare.

**EMPATHY** [Medium: Success] - No, not something.

Some _one._

**YOU** \- You turn to look at Harry.

**HARRY DU BOIS** \- Only to find that he's already looking at you. 

"Yeah," he murmurs absently with a soft, fond smile. "Really beautiful day."

**COMPOSURE** [Impossible: Failure] - Flustered by his sappiness, you cough into your fist.

 **DRAMA** [Impossible: Failure] - Unfortunately, our beloved detective sees right through our feeble attempt at maintaining composure, dear sovereign. 

**COMPOSURE** [Impossible: Failure] - Hey, why don't _you_ try keeping a straight face under this barrage of romantic fluff!!!

 **DRAMA** [Impossible: Failure] - Why, if it weren't for my painstaking effort, we would never have known that the detective was being truthful when he said that he—

 **AUTHORITY** [Godly: Success] - Stop it.

**YOU** \- An awkward silence descends upon your mind.

"We should get going," you say before Harry says anything else that'll trigger a civil war in your brain. 

**HARRY DU BOIS** \- He nods and adjusts his grip on the paper bag. 

"Lead the way," he says. 

**SHIVERS** [Easy: Success] - The Advesperascit Memorial Gardens lies in the northern side of Revachol East, just a few kilometers away from the mansions and lush gardens of Le Jardin. It is a quiet, beautiful place filled with greenery and birdsong, a small haven of life that doubles as a resting place for the dead. 

**ENCYCLOPEDIA** [Challenging: Success] - Most, if not all, of its slumbering residents belong to the Revacholian elite. One can tell how prominent the deceased was during their life based on either the size of their mausoleum or on the magnificence of their gravemarker. The largest mausoleum in the garden boasts of a three-story belltower that automatically chimes out a Dolorian hymn every 6:16 PM, marking the exact time that its most prominent resident, Louis Capulet Seizé, perished in a freak boating accident in the Bay of Revachol in '40. 

**ESPRIT DE CORPS** [Easy: Success] - The grave that you're looking for belongs to an officer of the RCM whose family had been relatively wealthy enough to secure a small plot of land in the cemetery for themselves. His decision to join the Militia caused his family to disown him, but they eventually welcomed him back with open arms...

All he needed to do was to die.

**YOU** \- After around ten minutes of navigating through the cemetery's winding paths, you and Harry finally reach your destination.

 **PERCEPTION (Sight)** [Easy: Success] - Compared to its neighbors, this grave is simple and spartan—a metal plaque on the ground, engraved with the deceased's full name, the dates of his birth and his death, and the names of the loved ones he left behind.

**ISAAC NATHANAEL JOGUES-LEGRAND**

**10 JANUARY '03 - 14 OCTOBER '45**

BELOVED HUSBAND TO ADRIENNE

LOVING FATHER TO GABRIEL

**CONCEPTUALIZATION** [Easy: Success] - A marble statue of The Lady stands watch over his grave in an eternal vigil, her face tilted down in solemn solicitude towards him who had been so devoted to her in life...

 **INLAND EMPIRE** [Heroic: Success] - And in death.

**YOU** \- You take a moment to gaze at his grave in reverent silence.

"Hey there, Eyes," you quietly say.

**INLAND EMPIRE** [Legendary: Success] - In your mind's eye, you see him standing before you with a fond smile on his face and a boyish glint in his eyes.

 _"Hey there, Speedfreak,"_ he would most certainly have said. 

**YOU** \- Ever since he died, you've made it a personal obligation to visit his grave every year on his death anniversary. In the past, you visited him with some of your colleagues from the 57th, most of whom still remember him with as much fondness and respect as you do.

But this year is...different.

**ESPRIT DE CORPS** [Easy: Success] - When you planned your visit, you made sure to drop by in the morning to make sure that you don't run into anyone from the 57th, who would most likely pay their respects later this afternoon.

 **EMPATHY** [Easy: Success] - You wanted this visit to be as intimate as possible. Not only because you wanted to introduce Harry to Eyes...

 **INLAND EMPIRE** [Legendary: Success] - ...But also because you've had the uncanny feeling that, ever since you woke up from your coma, Eyes has been watching over you like a benevolent guardian, cheering you on during the toughest moments of your recovery and rejoicing with you during every milestone.

 **ESPRIT DE CORPS** [Easy: Success] - It has been six years since his death, and yet you continue to accrue a debt towards Sgt. Legrand that you will never be able to fully repay in this lifetime. 

**YOU** \- Your reverie is gently interrupted by Harry, who steps forward and gently places the bouquet of flowers on Eyes' grave.

 **CONCEPTUALIZATION** [Formidable: Success] - The carnations were Harry's idea. Pink for gratitude and remembrance, red for admiration, white for purity...

The gorgeous bouquet brightens its somber surroundings like a flock of butterflies on the dewy grass.

 **YOU** \- You were grateful for his suggestion. If it had been up to you, you would have just bought a single, white chrysanthemum, as you've done every year. 

**PERCEPTION** [Easy: Success] - A cool breeze rustles through the cemetery, ruffling your hair and causing your jacket to flutter lightly behind you...

 **YOU** \- Stepping closer to Harry, you take the paper bag from his arms and bring out one can of beer and the pack of cigarettes. 

**ESPRIT DE CORPS** [Easy: Success] - A can of Cerveza Negra, a box of Astra. Both of which were Eyes' favorites.

**INLAND EMPIRE** [Legendary: Success] - _"Come on, Kim," he says, grinning around his nightly cigarette. "Just one beer before you head home!"_

_When you take the sweating can from his hands, your fingers brush against his, and your heart jumps in your chest—_

**YOU** \- You pop open the can and set it down, together with the unopened pack of cigarettes, beside his grave marker.

 **HAND-EYE COORDINATION** [Easy: Success] - Then, you take out another beer, toss it over to Harry, and take the last one for yourself.

Then, you open your beer and wait for Harry to do the same. 

**YOU** -You extend your can towards him.

"After life—death," you murmur.

 **HARRY DU BOIS** \- He clinks his can against yours.

"After death—life again," he responds.

**YOU** \- You take your first swig together. 

**ESPRIT DE CORPS** [Easy: Success] - A toast in honor of a fallen comrade. 

**CONCEPTUALIZATION** [Easy: Success] - A celebration of life. 

**INLAND EMPIRE** [Challenging: Success] - An act of communion between the living and the dead. 

**YOU** \- Returning to Harry's side, you sit down on the grass, stretching out one leg in front of you while hugging the other one against your chest.

 **HARRY DU BOIS** \- In contrast, he chooses to sit down cross-legged like a normal person. 

**PERCEPTION** [Trivial: Success] - A companionable silence settles between the two of you as you contemplate Eyes' grave while sipping your beers.

 **ELECTROCHEMISTRY** [Easy: Success] - This is the first time that you've had an alcoholic drink ever since your confinement at the hospital, and you can already feel a warm mellowness spreading through your limbs...

**INLAND EMPIRE** [Legendary: Success] - _"Oh man, we gotta build up your tolerance, Kim," Eyes says as he hauls you up from the floor. "You won't last a day in juvie if you can't handle more than one drink."_

**ESPRIT DE CORPS** [Easy: Success] - Sergeant Legrand was assigned to be your partner during your first four years in the 57th's juvie desk. He immediately took you under his wing and taught you the essential skills that you would need to maintain your sanity in the world of adolescent crime, and one of the earliest nuggets of wisdom that he passed onto you was that juvies were more willing to cooperate with pigs when said pigs are able to drink them under the table. 

**SAVOIR FAIRE** [Easy: Success] - Eyes practically exuded coolness in everything that he did, and he _knew_ it. This made him particularly effective against juvenile delinquents, some of whom even ended up reforming their lives because he made being a cop look so much more bad-ass than being a criminal.

**PERCEPTION (Sight)** [Challenging: Success] - From the corner of your eye, you see Harry glancing over hesitantly at you. 

**HARRY DU BOIS** \- Eventually, he gathers up enough courage and asks you a question. 

"Hey, Kim," he says, "What was he like? Eyes, I mean."

**YOU** \- You take a swig of your beer and mull over his question.

"He was..."

 **SAVOIR FAIRE** \- Devastatingly cool.

 **EMPATHY** \- A good man, and an even better friend. 

**ESPRIT DE CORPS** \- A damn good police officer.

 **YOU** \- Your lips quirk up as you survey your options, and eventually settle for the answer that captures all of them.

"...everything that I aspire to be," you say.

**HARRY DU BOIS** \- He looks at you intently, as if waiting for you to elaborate on your answer.

 **YOU** \- Keeping your eyes fixed on Eyes' grave, you ponder your next words carefully.

"He wasn't perfect. He had a temper, and he was prone to having too many drinks after work."

 **COMPOSURE** [Medium: Success] - Harry winces. 

**EMPATHY** [Medium: Success] - Your description hit too close to home.

**YOU** \- "But when he was at his best, he was..."

You pause as you search for the right word.

"Stunning," you finish. 

**ESPRIT DE CORPS** [Easy: Success] - _"Why are you so cool, Eyes?" you ask him one day, as the both of you lean back against the Kineema and watch the sun set over the Esperance. The last rays of the day cast a warm, orange glow on his dusky skin, and you can't help but stare at his chiseled profile..._

_He winks at you mischievously and gives you a secret smile. "I was born this way, Kitsuragi. But don't worry, stick around me long enough and I'm sure my coolness will rub off you too."_

**PAIN THRESHOLD** [Legendary: Failure] - Your heart twinges at that memory.

**YOU** \- You take a deep breath and continue.

"He had this uncanny ability to see through people, even the ones who had the toughest alibis."

**ESPRIT DE CORPS** [Easy: Success] - _"I-I wasn't there," the shopkeeper stammers out. "I went out to restock our supplies—Just ask the cashier! She saw me go out!"_

_Eyes remains silent for a while, his cigarette smoldering between his lips...._

_Then, he exhales a long plume of smoke._

_"Bullshit," he concludes._

**YOU** \- "I spent four years with him, and he taught me most of what I know about being a police officer. I don't think I would have lasted in the juvie desk as long as I did if it weren't for his help. "

 **HARRY** \- He's listening to you with an expression of rapt attention and wonder.

 **EMPATHY** [Medium: Success] - He treasures these rare moments when you share something about yourself. He considers your trust as a hard-won privilege that he will never take for granted...

**YOU** \- Bolstered by Harry's attentiveness, you continue your anecdote. 

"We stopped being partners after he got promoted to the narc desk," you say. "He did his best to keep in touch with me, though. We'd have lunch at least once a week at the cafeteria, usually on Wednesdays, and he always showed up on time. He'd be sitting at our usual table by 12 o' clock sharp..."

**AUTHORITY** [Easy: Success] - In the past, you've always viewed self-disclosure as an unnecessary risk. After all, there were too many things that could go wrong if you put your heart in someone else's hands.

For instance—

 **PAIN THRESHOLD** [Legendary: Failure] - They could die.

**INLAND EMPIRE** [Legendary: Success] - The memory of that horrible day sweeps into your mind like a heavy fog. 

**YOU** \- When you speak to Harry again, your voice is weighed down by old grief. 

"Then one day...he didn't show up."

**INLAND EMPIRE** [Legendary: Success] - _That fateful Wednesday, you waited in the cafeteria for an inordinate amount of time. You sat at your table and waited for Eyes, even after your food had already gotten cold, even after all of your other colleagues had already left, even after the serving ladies started cleaning up the tables and closing the lights..._

_You kept your eyes trained on the cafeteria door, expecting him to burst through it any minute, apologizing for being so, so late—_

_Someone did burst through the door, eventually._

_But it wasn't him._

_It was Alice._

_And she was crying._

**YOU** \- "He got sent on a raid. Some bigshot drug-trafficking ring was manufacturing the hunch and selling it to children. He mentioned it to me a few weeks before...but I didn't think much of it."

You pause.

"His whole team got wiped out."

**INLAND EMPIRE** [Legendary: Success] - _You don't remember crying. You just remember running to the captain's office, hoping against hope that Alice got things mixed up, that she heard about the wrong squad—_

_When you finally got to his office, you were about to knock..._

_But his door was already open._

_You stepped in..._

_And the expression on your captain's face demolished your hopes._

**PAIN THRESHOLD** [Legendary: Failure] - After six years, the wound that his death gouged into your heart has stitched itself together into tough, unyielding scar tissue. You wish you could say that it doesn't hurt anymore to think about him, to remember his smile, to remember everything that you never got to tell him...

But you knew that if you said that, you'd just be lying to yourself.

**HARRY DU BOIS** \- Harry's staring at you with an unreadable expression on his face.

 **COMPOSURE** [Legendary: Success] - Don't take my word for it, but it looks like he's tearing up.

 **EMPATHY** [Legendary: Success] - He cannot bring himself to imagine the depth of your grief, even though he knows that you've most likely moved on from it after all these years.

He wants to comfort you, but he also doesn't want to open up your old wounds any further. 

**HARRY DU BOIS** \- "...He sounded like a great guy," he finally says.

**YOU** \- You can't help but smile at that.

"Yeah. Yeah, he was," you agree.

**ELECTROCHEMISTRY** [Easy: Success] - In the ensuing silence that follows, you finish off your beer and let the alcohol buzz through your system like a pleasant, numbing wave...

 **PAIN THRESHOLD** [Legendary: Failure] - It's been a long, long time since you've talked to someone about Eyes... Long enough for you to forget how much you miss him. 

**ESPRIT DE CORPS** [Easy: Success] - But despite your reawakened grief, you know that if Sergeant Legrand was here with you right now, he would have teased you mercilessly about Harry.

_"Oh, Speedfreak," he'd say, shaking his head. "I don’t think it’s possible to encounter a bigger, hotter mess than this man in all of the seven isolas."_

**INLAND EMPIRE** [Legendary: Success] - But you also know that he'd still be happy for you. 

And you're sure, absolutely sure, that he would have liked Harry.

**HARRY DU BOIS** \- Suddenly, he finishes his beer in a single gulp, as if mustering every last bit of his courage for whatever it is that he's about to do.

Then, he stands up.

**YOU** \- You blink up at him.

What's he about to do?

 **LOGIC** [Impossible: Failure] - Nope. No clue.

 **COMPOSURE** [Impossible: Failure] - He's probably going to hug the statue of Dolores Dei and start crying.

 **ELECTROCHEMISTRY** [Impossible: Failure] - He's gonna swipe that open can of beer on Eyes' grave! Quick, stop him!

 **RHETORIC** [Easy: Success] - Before you do that, maybe you should do something else first, like _ask him what he's about to do._

**YOU** \- "Harry, what—"

But before you can finish your question, Harry stands up straighter and gazes solemnly at Eyes' grave.

**COMPOSURE** [Legendary: Success] - In the blink of an eye, Harry transforms into a different man. His posture exudes authority and confidence. His gaze is firm and steady. His face is calm and composed. 

**ESPRIT DE CORPS** [Legendary: Success] - Seeing him like this, you cannot help but marvel at the man that he could have been—the man that he could _still_ be, if he truly set his mind to it. 

Not Lieutenant Double-Yefreitor Du Bois...

But _Captain_ Du Bois. 

**LOGIC** [Legendary: Failure] - This stunning image is only slightly marred by the fact that he addresses his next words to your dead partner. 

**HARRY DU BOIS** \- "Sergeant Legrand," he says.

 **PERCEPTION (Hearing)** [Impossible: Failure] - Is... is he talking to Eyes????

 **INLAND EMPIRE** [Challenging: Success] - He's conversed with the decomposing corpse of a Krenel mercenary before. Are you truly surprised by this turn of events?

**HARRY DU BOIS** \- Unaware of your bewilderment, Harry continues to address Eyes' grave.

"I'm sorry for not introducing myself properly. I'm Lieutenant Double-Yefreitor Harry du Bois, and I'm Lieutenant Kitsuragi's new...partner."

 **RHETORIC** [Medium: Success] - That slight pause before he said the word "partner" was absolutely laden with meaning.

 **COMPOSURE** [Impossible: Failure] - You feel your ears heat up at what that silence implied.

**HARRY DU BOIS** \- "From what he's told me, you were an impressive police officer," Harry continues. "I wish I could have gotten to know you during your tenure. I'm sure we would have gotten along famously," he says.

**INLAND EMPIRE** [Legendary: Success] - _Eyes and Harry heading off to the bar after a long day of damn good police work, both of them dragging you along like a slightly hesitant, but amused, accomplice..._

**ESPRIT DE CORPS** [Easy: Success] - Yes.

Yes, they would have gotten along famously indeed. 

**HARRY DU BOIS** \- "You lost your life in the line of duty, trying to protect innocents from those who would prey on them out of cruelty and greed. And for that—"

Harry raises his hand...

And offers a salute. 

"The city of Revachol owes you a great debt," he says.

**YOU** \- All of the voices in your head are stunned into silence.

You too, are utterly stunned by Harry's unexpected tribute.

**HARRY DU BOIS** \- After a moment, he lowers his hand and continues.

"I'm happy to report that Lt. Kitsuragi has become an impressive officer in his own right. He's devastatingly cool—"

 **RHETORIC** [Easy: Success] - Now _there's_ the Harry that we all know and love. 

**HARRY DU BOIS** \- "—extremely competent, and has the patience of a Dolorian saint."

**AUTHORITY** [Easy: Success] - Finally. An acknowledgement of the daily martyrdom that you have to undergo because of his endearing buffoonery. 

**EMPATHY** [Easy: Success] - You're both embarrassed and flattered by Harry's praise.

**HARRY DU BOIS** \- "I do not exaggerate when I say that I owe him my life."

**INLAND EMPIRE** [Legendary: Success] - _Your trembling hands, stained by his blood as you tried to dig out the bullets from his shoulder and from his thigh—_

_**His** trembling hands, stained by **your** blood, as he tried to staunch the wound in your abdomen—_

**ESPRIT DE CORPS** [Trivial: Success] - You owe your life to him as much as he owes his life to you.

**HARRY DU BOIS** \- "Without Lt. Kitsuragi—without _Kim_ ," he corrects himself, "I wouldn't be standing here right now."

**INLAND EMPIRE** [Legendary: Success] - On that fateful morning in Martinaise, before you woke him up from his alcohol and drug-induced stupor with the deafening roar of your Kineema...

There was a tie hanging from the ceiling fan in his room at the Whirling-in-Rags.

**HALF-LIGHT** [Legendary: Success] - Did you know what he was planning to do with it?

**YOU** \- ...Yes.

The same thing that he would have done...

If I hadn't woken up from my coma.

**HARRY DU BOIS** \- He pauses for a moment, as if gathering his wits about him once again. 

"What I'm trying to say, Eyes, is that I'd be the first one to admit that I don't deserve to be Kim's partner," he finally says.

**EMPATHY** [Legendary: Failure] - Even after everything that we've said, everything that we've done...

Why does he still hate himself so much?

 **YOU** \- You open your mouth to refute Harry—

 **VOLITION** [Godly: Success] - No. 

Let him continue.

**HARRY DU BOIS** \- "I'm an addict, a deranged fool who hears voices in his head, and a complete disgrace of a police officer. In other words..."

He releases a heavy sigh.

"I'll never be as good of a partner to Kim as you were."

**YOU** \- What?! How could he say—

 **VOLITION** [Godly: Success] - No. 

Not yet.

**HARRY DU BOIS** \- "But you have my word," Harry continues, "that I'm going to do my absolute, damned best to be a better partner—no, a better _man_..."

Suddenly, he looks at Eyes' grave with renewed determination.

**HARRY DU BOIS** \- "Because Revachol deserves nothing less than that."

Then, after a moment...

"Because Kim deserves nothing less than that," he adds quietly.

**YOU** \- Your empty beer can drops from your numb fingers.

**INLAND EMPIRE** [Legendary: Success] - _Beneath the baby-blue sky of another world, Sergeant Isaac Legrand looks at Harry with an assessing gaze..._

_Then, he looks at you._

_"I like him, Speedfreak," Eyes says with a bright smile. "He's a good man."_

**YOU** - _"Yes,"_ you respond to Eyes with all your heart.

_"Yes, he is."_

**HARRY DU BOIS** \- He stares at Eyes' grave for a moment longer.

Then, his entire demeanor crumples into a flustered wreck as he heaves a gigantic sigh of relief.

"Wow. I... Uh," he stammers while scratching the neck sheepishly. "I didn't mean to get all... uh, emotional there."

**COMPOSURE** [Trivial: Success] - And just like that, he's back to being an endearing buffoon. 

**AUTHORITY** \- We would like to see that side of the detective more often. 

_Much_ more often. 

**DRAMA** [Trivial: Success] - Despite sudden change in our beloved detective's demeanor, he meant every single word of his tribute to Sgt. Legrand, my sovereign. 

**YOU** \- ... I don't deserve him.

 **EMPATHY** [Easy: Success] - Didn't you hear what he just said? He thinks that _he_ doesn't deserve _you_. 

**SUGGESTION** [Easy: Success] - Would you like to try to convince him otherwise?

**YOU** \- Yes. 

Yes, I do.

"Harry," you finally say.

**HARRY DU BOIS** \- He turns to look at you nervously, as if he was afraid of what you're about to tell him.

 **YOU** \- You give him a small, reassuring smile. 

"I think Eyes actually likes you," you say

**HARRY DU BOIS** \- He blinks.

"You...you really think so?" he asks incredulously.

**LOGIC** [Godly: Failure] - It didn't even occur to him to ask you how you could've known your dead partner's opinion about him.

But then again, he just spoke to Eyes as if the man was standing right in front of him, instead of being buried six feet underground. 

**YOU** \- You nod. 

"Yes. He definitely likes you."

**SUGGESTION** [Easy: Success] - Build it up... 

**YOU** \- "But...

**SUGGESTION** [Easy: Success] - ... Now, _hit it_.

**YOU** \- "...I still like you more than he does," you finally say.

**COMPOSURE** [Easy: Success] - He turns so red that he looks like one of those carnations on Eyes' bouquet.

**YOU** \- Ace's High!

 **SUGGESTION** [Easy: Success] - Ace's High!

**HARRY DU BOIS** \- Despite his bewilderment, he manages to gaze at you with so much awe and love that you're tempted to look away out of sheer embarrassment.

 **VOLITION** [Godly: Success] - But you don't look away. 

**SUGGESTION** [Godly: Success] - Because you want to convince him...

 **EMPATHY** [Godly: Success] - ...That he doesn't need to deserve your love.

He just needs to be himself.

 **ELECTROCHEMISTRY** [Godly: Success] - His weak, vulnerable, fucked-up self.

 **AUTHORITY** [Godly: Success] - His strong, brilliant, competent self. 

**HARRY DU BOIS** \- He holds your gaze for a moment longer. 

Then, his eyes light up, and a brilliant smile blooms on his face.

"Come here, Lieutenant," he says, extending his hand towards you.

**COMPOSURE** [Legendary: Success] - You're about to get pulled into the most amazing bear hug that you've ever received in your entire life.

 **ELECTROCHEMISTRY** [Legendary: Success] - You're also about to get kissed so passionately that the grass around you might spontaneously burst into flames.

 **AUTHORITY** [Godly: Success] - For the love of all that is holy, please do not make out with your new partner in front of your dead partner's grave.

 **VOLITION** [Godly: Success] - Laughter threatens to bubble out of your chest, but you manage to stifle it and smile up fondly at Harry instead.

**YOU** \- As you bask in the luminosity of your shared joy, you can't help but marvel at the sheer glory of this moment. 

**PERCEPTION** [Trivial: Success] - The sky is blue, the breeze is cool, Harry is smiling—

**YOU** \- And when you finally take his hand...

Your heart soars into the sky. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And with that, this beautiful monster is finally laid to rest. 
> 
> Thank you so much for joining me in this wild ride, folks! Your feedback and support were the energy bars that kept me chugging through this wonderful ordeal. You deserve all the Kudos that AO3 can offer for going through the Pain Train in its ruthless (yet hopefully rewarding) entirety!
> 
> Special thanks to:  
> \- the [Disco(rd) Elysium](https://discord.gg/discoelysium) for being the captive audience for my fics  
> \- [MorgoMoonscar](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MorgoMoonscar/pseuds/MorgoMoonscar) and [Jodi](https://twitter.com/PerplexedJodi) for their amazing art  
> \- [Darelz](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Darelz/pseuds/Darelz), [Kawa](https://archiveofourown.org/users/fandomonymous/pseuds/Kawa), and [pikalex88](https://archiveofourown.org/users/pikalex88/pseuds/pikalex88)) for being my beta-readers for various chapters.  
> \- the crazy geniuses at ZA/UM who created this amazing game and its unforgettable characters! 
> 
> Some final notes:
> 
> 1) ME: "So what else would Kim find hot about Harry?"  
> ALSO ME: "Harry's parallel-parking skills."  
> ME: "...Wait, what?"  
> (In case you're wondering what Harry did to get out of that tight spot, he did [this](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KLqE60Lp7XI).)
> 
> 2) [Advesperascit](https://discoelysium.gamepedia.com/Dolores_Dei) (the city, not the cemetery) and the drug called [the hunch](https://zaumstudio.com/2019/10/08/welcome-to-revachol/) are both canon. 
> 
> 3) O.O. was meant to be the capstone for the [41st Fandango Series](https://archiveofourown.org/series/1625734) (aka "The Redemption Arc that Harry Ought to Get if He Gets His Sh*t Together"). While I do have other fic ideas floating around my brain, I'm very open to suggestions or fic prompts (as long as they're SFW) about what you'd like to see in the series. Also, I'd be more than happy to let other writers contribute to it as co-creators! ~~All you need is an alliterative title and you're all set.~~
> 
> Feel free to contact me through Discord [gash9139 (luminality)#2302] or on Twitter [@luminality2] for either of those. :)
> 
> Thank you again, everyone! 
> 
> Ace's High!


End file.
